Filtered by Category: gatherings

Just a bunch of good Thanksgiving shit

fall flowers from farmers market

U.S. Thanksgiving is right around the corner (as are a bunch of other cooking + family holidays), so I thought it would be a good time to share a bunch of resources and tips that might be helpful as you think about how you’ll spend your holiday!

Education

pumpkin pie with a star-shaped piece of crust in the center

Making cooking more pleasant and less stressful

Generally speaking

Recipes

This is the Thanksgiving menu I’m working with this year, all of which I made last yer and loved.

  • Beef tenderloin with homemade horseradish sauce from Joy of Cooking

Also, it is my sincerely-held belief that the most important thing you will eat on any big holiday is actually breakfast. I feel like people often overlook it because they want to get started cooking (or they don’t know what to have because they’re in someone else’s home) and think it’ll be fine because they are going to eat a big meal later…and then they are starving and extremely cranky by noon. So plan ahead! When hosting, I’m a huge fan of a make-ahead breakfast casserole. And if you’re not the one hosting…maybe offer to make a make-ahead breakfast casserole?

Food-related bonus reads

Having people over

Generally speaking

Family stuff

Decorations

Pre-dinner readings

Thanksgiving spread in a Brooklyn apartment

Entertainment and games


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The best shows to watch with parents, in-laws, and other family members

Hello, friends! Today, for your reading pleasure, Terri, an expert in parent-friendly entertainment (among other topics), is treating us to some fresh recs! —Rachel

Between March 2020 and March 2021, I spent eight months living with my parents. That is eight out of 12 months. Two-thirds of a year. Nearly every weeknight, and on some weekend nights too, we’d plop down on the couch, someone would turn on the TV, and then that same someone would say, “So, what should we put on?” Even though that someone was often my dad, it wasn’t always — because he got to the point where he’d sooner sit in a silent room than have to piece together the jigsaw puzzle titled, “Something Inoffensive, Entertaining, Digestible, and Broadly Appealing.”

As I’m sure you’ve experienced with family members, it is extremely difficult to find something to watch that fits into those categories. And among me and my parents, the Venn diagram of our TV interests intersects in a space no larger than a chia seed.

Anything we watched had to satisfy these criteria:

  • Nothing political (there’s a time and a place for that, but it’s just...not every single night after dinner)

  • No reality TV (my mom and I love it, my dad hates it)

  • Nothing too murdery (in a fun generational twist, my parents adore Dateline, but it kept me up at night in our quiet suburban house)

  • Preferably no movies (my mom and I don’t have the patience, my dad absolutely does)

  • Extra points if it’s a documentary 

  • Preferably something in multiple parts, to stave off the next search for a show for as long as possible

Unsurprisingly, many nights passed where I watched Too Hot to Handle on my iPad while my parents watched Mecum Auto Auctions (don’t ask) next to me on the couch. I know I could go to my room like an angsty teenager — I was in my childhood home, after all — but the time with my parents felt sacred and fleeting, even though, as I have to point out again, it lasted eight months in total. So I really, really wanted to solve that jigsaw puzzle (both literally and figuratively; I love a j-puzz).

And by god, we really did manage to find some stuff that we all not only tolerated, but actually really liked. And I’m telling you, if these worked for me and my parents, then you and yours will absolutely like them too. Consider this your next TV show playlist for the next holiday, visit home, family vacation, or, god forbid, extended global pandemic.

Stuff you maybe haven’t watched yet, but should

  • Finding Your Roots with Henry Louis Gates. At the start of the pandemic, I started paying for a PBS subscription, thereby giving me streaming access to their entire library  of programs (including Ken Burns documentaries and entire live recordings of Broadway shows, both of which always get a collective “hell yeah” from Bob and Carol). It’s one of the best things I did, partially because it gave us access to this jewel of a show. Gates meets up with celebrities of all stripes (Jordan Peele! Bernie Sanders!), traces their lineage, tells them stories about their ancestors they never knew, and sometimes tells them about other celebs they’re related to. (This is the show where it was discovered that Larry David and Bernie are actually related.) It’s so charming, offers a very personal insight into history, and Gates is an engaging, delightful host. I liked it so much I’ve been watching ever since I went back to my own apartment.

  • Only Connect. This is an extremely British game show in which teams of three try to make connections among seemingly disparate bits of trivia and words. When I say it’s extremely British, I mean there are countless questions about cricket, “footballers,” British counties and towns, and at least one question about some creature named Basil Brush. Even if you consider yourself a smart person, it will make you feel like an idiot, but it’s so fun, I promise. The host, Victoria Coren Mitchell, is equal parts warm, witty, and excoriating, and has a ton of fun with the supremely nerdy contestants who toil away at the questions for literally no prize other than a plaque. It airs on the BBC in the UK, but you can watch on YouTube in the U.S.

  • The Food that Made America. This is a docu-series on the History Channel, because you know I had to include something from the History Channel on a list of shows I watched with my parents. This one is super fun: It traces the history of some of the most iconic food brands, like Coca-Cola, Hershey’s, and Frito-Lay, and intersperses it with some truly cringe-worthy reenactments. Somehow, every single company was founded by two brothers who eventually hated each other because one only cared about the business and the other wanted to fuck around. Anyway. It’s pretty entertaining, and you learn stuff! And crave some snacks.

  • Modern Marvels. This comes on right after The Food that Made America, and if you, like my mom, have a tendency to fall asleep during a show for 10 minutes or more, you might wake up and be like, “Oh cool, same show.” But this one has Adam Richman (the Man vs. Food guy), and in the most recent season I watched, he shows you how all kinds of foods are made. He shows you chocolate chip cookies, chips, ice cream, and goes inside the factories, and it’s all very informative and mouth-watering and broadly appealing. No one will object. What more are you really asking for?

  • The World Poker Tour. Listen, sometimes you need to space out and listen to Vince van Patten and Tony Dunst narrate the action as some dude name Joe tries to hide that he has pocket aces. I finally got somewhat decent at playing poker while I was home, so we watched a lot of the World Poker Tour. Even though the ads are interminable, it was pretty entertaining, and helped me beat my 8-year-old niece at the game at least twice. If you want something that’s literally always on, no matter when you want to watch it, this is perfect.

  • Buying Alaska. This is somehow not on HGTV. It follows people trying to buy homes in Alaska, the more remote and the fewer the toilets, the better. It’s pretty entertaining because it includes more about the lifestyle of Alaskans than HGTV shows tend to include — but also, some people just really want to live among the moose, and I find that charming.

  • The Plot Against America. This was really gripping stuff! It’s alternate history based on a book by Philip Roth about what the world would look like if Charles Lindbergh defeated FDR in the 1940 presidential election. It’s obviously fiction, but the sobering depiction of rising fascism and antisemitism felt… not that far off! I know I said we usually avoid anything remotely political, but we’re Jewish, and the story about a Jewish family really hooked us in.

Some stuff you’ve definitely heard of and/or watched, but shouldn’t discount:

  • Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives

  • Operation Varsity Blues: The College Admissions Scandal

  • Curb Your Enthusiasm

  • The Stanley Tucci CNN show in Italy

  • The Queen’s Gambit

  • The Crown

Thank you, Terri! Finally, here are a few of my personal recs for family-friendly entertainment: Defunctland (make a playlist of all the vids that sound good to you and let it rock), The Last Dance, Winning Time: Reggie Miller vs. the New York Knicks, Untold: Crime & Penalties, The Imagineering Story, and Ken Burns’ Prohibition (which it will not surprise you to hear that Terri actually recommended to me a few years ago). —RWM 📺

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This tinsel is a pretty good way to spend $15

Living room decorated for rock star music-themed birthday party with gold and silver tinsel curtains covering the floor to ceiling windows

One of the unexpected winners of the at-home birthday celebration I threw for my girlfriend a couple of weeks ago was the pack of metallic tinsely curtains ($15.99 for two silver and two gold on Amazon) I bought.

Each curtain is approximately the width of a door and fairly long/tall, with a horizontal adhesive strip at the top; I put three over the window/door to the terrace, and one over the bedroom door, and they genuinely made the space feel different and celebratory.

Rockstar themed birthday cake topped with candles and tinsel curtains in background of photo

In fact, we liked them so much that we got a second pack to use for the “office holiday party” that we had on Tuesday night.

Gif of at-home office holiday party with silver and gold tinsel curtains on floor to ceiling windows and green and red party lights
Gif of at-home office holiday party with silver and gold tinsel curtains on floor to ceiling windows and green and red party lights

The curtains flutter and reflect light in a really nice way, and you actually don’t need to do anything else to make them shine. But if you want to take things up a notch, you could turn on a mini LED party light. (We used the one that came in a company swag bag my girlfriend received a couple of months ago, but you can get a similar one for $16.99 on Amazon.)

Even though you can see some window showing behind the curtains in these photos, they look great and plenty thick IRL. (But if you wanted to make them appear thicker, you could easily double them up.)

We also kept them up for our “supercouch” (aka air mattress inflated in front of the couch) movie day.

Living room with inflated air mattress covered in Christmas blankets and gold and silver tinsel curtain covering floor to ceiling windows
Living room with a Yule log on TV, paper chain decoration under it, and silver tinsel curtain covering door to bedroom

I was pleasantly surprised by how much delight/novelty the curtains provided; in this bleak year, it’s always nice when a small thing actually helps quite a bit. If you’re a New Year’s Eve person and want to do something to mark the occasion while also being safe, or if someone in your household has a birthday coming up, these are totally worth it.

Get the gold and silver four-pack from Amazon for $15.99. (They also come in a bunch of other colors, like this pretty rose gold.) ✨

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Tiny party tip: state your shoe intentions in advance

Image: Birdies

Image: Birdies

As winter party season approaches, I feel compelled to share a bit of advice that I consider crucial to being a good host/good friend. It’s quite simple: if you are a shoes-off household, tell your party guests that at some point in advance of said party.

Why is this so important? Well, because snowy/sleety boots are, understandably, the sort of thing many people don’t want inside their homes. Which is fine! I have no problem with this approach! But showing up to a party and being asked to remove your shoes when you weren’t planning to ranges from mildly annoying to a real inconvenience. Like, maybe you wore very bad socks that night, or you aren’t even wearing socks. Maybe you built your entire outfit around your cute shoes, which are now sitting in your friend’s hallway. None of these scenarios are life-threatening, of course, but all can make a guest feel slightly off their game in a way that is at odds with good hospitality. And it’s all avoidable because you can just tell people up front what the situation is!

You can mention this in the Flyer. You can throw it in with the dress code/what to wear. You can work it in during the flurry of “See you tonight!” “What should I bring?” “BTW our doorbell doesn’t really work!” texts in the days before the party. Truly, the medium doesn’t matter; all that matters is that the message gets conveyed some place that is not your front door.

If you’re a shoes-on household, I think it’s more acceptable to say nothing, because most folks assume that a party is going to be shoes-on. But I also think it’s probably a good idea to make a habit of it regardless!

Some of my friends and I have started texting each other, “Is this a shoes-off or a shoes-on situation?” before gatherings, which works perfectly well, and is always an option if your host hasn’t taken this advice.

In general, I don’t consider myself dogmatic about most things I write about. Like, use these tips or don’t! I don’t know your life!!! But this is one thing I actually feel very strongly about. Like, just tell your guests what to expect, especially if that thing is “I expect you to be in socks all night”! Do what you can to help them feel more comfortable and relaxed! It is literally not difficult or awkward to say this, and I promise you that no one is going to be like, Wow, what a fuckin WEIRDO, doing me this REAL-ASS COURTESY like a BITCH if you make a point to tell them this info up front. 👠

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Cozy potluck ideas

Brooklyn brownstone living room with dining table and fall tablescape

This weekend, I had some friends over to my apartment for a potluck. I didn’t call this gathering a Friendsgiving because I didn’t want to give anyone the impression that I would be making a turkey (absolutely no), or imply that they should limit themselves to bringing Thanksgiving sides.

I’ve never been a big fan of Thanksgiving. This is due in large part to the fact that no one ever really bothers to make it fancy, which I don’t understand. Like, what is the point of a holiday if there isn’t cozy lights, a little sparkle, and an on-theme outfit???? (This doesn’t just apply to the end of year hols; it also includes Valentine’s Day, Halloween, and the 4th of July.) Give me a bougie Williams-Sonoma catalog party or nothing at all!!! I also just don’t like Thanksgiving food very much. It’s a lot of work/stress/money for not a lot of payoff, imo.

Anyway, the potluck went great! My mantra when thinking about this gathering was “do less.” I have a tendency to go overboard with stuff like this, and I wanted this dinner to be easy and fun without too much fuss or expense. Or, put another way, mood over food.

Food & drink

Overhead photo of pasta with red meat sauce and chucks of ricotta cheese in pot on stovetop

I made The Kitchn’s baked ziti, which I also made for a cozy winter party last January. It’s easy, inexpensive, delicious, and feeds a lot of people. It’s also so practical. It can be made it advance, so you still have plenty of time to do the dishes and clean your kitchen before anyone arrives.

I also made Alison Roman’s labneh dip, which was a hit. I doubled it, and I’m glad I did. I also waited until right before the party to assemble the dip/add the oil (which I’d made in the morning) — I was able to get a nicer presentation that way.

My girlfriend made the apple cider spritzes from my friend Jess’s blog. I always love Jess’s cocktail recipes, and these were no exception. Would recommend/make again!

Photo of apple cider spritz and Lager of the Lakes beer on gray buffalo check tablecloth

Everyone’s potluck contributions were great. In terms of recipes, there was a broccoli rubble farro salad (love Smitten Kitchen), a cheesy Hasselback potato gratin (gorgeous and delicious), and leeks in vinaigrette (the unexpected hit of the night).


Decorations

Because I was committed to doing less, I scrapped my initial plan to go to Michaels and/or Party City; the bulk of my energy went to finding a tablecloth online. (Two tablecoths, actually — I decided to set up a folding table my girlfriend bought this summer in my dining room for food and move my actual dining room table into my living room, a setup that worked out very well. In general, I’m a fan of rearranging furniture to make a party work better in a small space.) Because the tables were kind of It, I wanted a really cool and special tablecloth and…turns out, that doesn’t really exist for Thanksgiving!

I ended up going with two gray buffalo check tablecloths ($22.99+ each on Amazon), a dozen mini white pumpkins ($24.89 on Amazon), and two bouquets of flowers from BoHaus. (Tiny bonus tip: go for a floral arrangement with eucalyptus; not only does it look great/dramatic, it smells wonderful.)

Overhead photo of white pumpkins in varying sizes, white candle, brass wishbone bottle opener, and two Instax party photos

Anyway, that turned out to be all I needed! Everything else was just stuff I already owned. One of my favorite things about holidays/hosting is going through the cabinet where I keep all my fancy wares and being surprised/delighted by what’s in there. I’ve acquired a lot of different items (cloth napkins, bottle openers, cheese boards, serving ware) over time, and faithfully sticking to neutrals + metallics for years means I rarely have to worry about the specific items I need matching/working for a given occasion. You really can’t go wrong buying dishes or oven-to-table items in white. (Also, if you stick to white, you can use regular bowls and plates as serving dishes as needed and still have it look cohesive. I also think it’s easier to decorate on a small budget this way.)

If you want something a little more festive, I think tree/branch/wood motifs in white/silver and/or stripes in black/gray/cream/green are the way to go because they work for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s.

Also! It pays to hoard good finds from the Target dollar section until the moment you need them. I have no idea when exactly I purchased two packs of dessert plates with a copper foil autumn leaf pattern on them—I thiiiink maybe 2017???—but I was very grateful to Past Me when I found them! The fabric pumpkins I mixed in with the new ones fro Amazon also came from Target several years ago.

Things I would do differently next time

Interior shot of refrigerator packed with LaCroix and beer

  • Start at 5 p.m. instead of 4.

  • Buy bigger cups. (This was the one downside of not going to Party City.)

  • Make the ziti the night before instead of the morning of.

  • Move my kitchen trash can into my dining room for convenience.

  • Decorate with/incorporate twinkle lights.

  • Take more photos. ✨

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My favorite things to do in Saugatuck, MI

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Last week, I spent a few days on vacation in Saugatuck, Michigan, which was delightful! Since I also spent time in Saugatuck last summer and really loved it, I thought I’d put together a list of my favorite things to do there!

Where to stay

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We stayed at “the Cottage on the Hill” last year, which I loved. It’s a 2-minute drive from downtown and a 10-minute drive from Oval Beach, but the real selling point is the lovely enclosed porch, which overlooks a big fenced-in backyard.

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It wasn’t available this year, so we rented “Sunshine Cottage” instead. Sunshine Cottage is a very short walk from downtown, which was super convenient — we could walk home from dinner or from the house to an ice cream shop for a scoop of Mackinac Island Fudge in about five minutes. It also has a white kitchen with a sizable island that, when combined with the right linen shirt, makes you feel like a low-budget Nancy Meyers heroine.

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I’m torn about which house I liked better; last year’s was bigger and comfier and cuter, but it’s a tiny bit further from downtown, and the roads you’d take into town are a bit less walkable. Sunshine Cottage is smaller and had some minor quirks (that definitely weren’t dealbreakers), but is still nice/cozy/clean/convenient. I’d recommend either one! 

What to do 

Oval Beach

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Oval Beach, on Lake Michigan, is my favorite thing about Saugatuck. It’s been rated one of the best beaches in the world (!!) by several different publications. It’s a fairly small beach but it’s never too crowded, even when it’s busy.

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The sand is very soft and the water sometimes glitters in the sunlight. (By the way, the water in July 2018 was very cold, but it was perfect this time around.)

Retro Boat Rentals

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Retro Boat Rentals is a very cute family-run place. You take your rental out on the Kalamazoo River for 90 minutes, where you get to see local wildlife (last year, we saw an eagle catch a fish; this year there were a lot of baby ducks) and all of the mansions that line the water. It’s a great way to spend a morning!

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Since our trip last summer, they’ve added a bunch of outdoor seating and a kitchen/bar, so after our boat ride, we sat outside and had beers and snacks and a truly lovely time!

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They also have these donut-type boats that look really fun (though, FYI, alcohol isn’t allowed on any of the boats).

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Shopping

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The downtown Saugatuck area has lots of little shops, and you can easily visit most/all of them in an afternoon. I don’t think any of the shops stands out as, like, The One You Must Visit, but spending some time tooling around to all the different ones is definitely worth it!

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There are a ton of other things to do in Douglas and Fennville (including wineries and antique stores and galleries), but because we haven’t had a ton of time there/have spent a lot of our time at the beach, I can’t speak to those!

You also don’t have to do much of anything, really! Saugatuck is so gentle and cozy, and is kind of built for easy bonding — you can make friendship bracelets, play games, or do puzzles, and not feel like you’re missing out.

Where to eat and drink

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Saugatuck has a lot of restaurants, and I’m hoping to spend a full week there next year so I can check out more of them! (The Southerner is at the top of my list for the next trip.) But here are some of the places we’ve gone and liked:

Mitten Brewing Company

Mitten Brewing Company makes truly excellent pizza — we went there twice last year because it was so good. Their outdoor seating area is incredibly cute, but you can also get your pizza to go, and then eat it in the little park across the street, which is right on the river.

Uncommon Coffee Roasters

After Googling coffee shops in Saugatuck, I was drawn to this one because their Instagram is extremely gay. And I’m happy to report that the entire place is extremely gay! Overall, it feels like the best coffee shop in a college town — homey, earthy, vaguely alt. It has a huge wraparound porch and a beautiful backyard. There’s also a guy who does chair massages in the backyard area and only charges $1 a minute, which is a pretty fantastic deal.

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The BARge

This place sits behind the Ship-n-Shore hotel, so it’s not actually visible from the street. But it’s right on the water (you can see it in this photo) and the upper level offers a pretty great view. When we went for dinner, there was a live music act that was actually pretty good.

The Dunes

The Dunes bills itself as “the Midwest’s premier LGBTQ resort.” The website and even the interior make it seem, like, clubby(ish), but when we were there for karaoke night and it was incredibly…gentle and chill? We heard a lot of Frank Sinatra, Elvis, and the Beatles. (And also everyone who sang was pretty good?) But next to the TV displaying the karaoke lyrics for songs like “When I’m 64,” there was a second TV playing, like, a super-cut of random foreplay scenes from gay male porn, which was…quite a juxtaposition! Also, the customers that night were *literally* all men and it felt like a very gay male space in general, so that’s something to be aware of!

Speaking of LGBTQ experiences, there were a lot of Pride flags flying in Saugatuck, and I remember noticing last year in the big Saugatuck brochure/magazine that there were a lot of subtle (and not-so-subtle) cues that Saugatuck is queer-friendly. So that’s nice! That said, we definitely saw way more Pride flags than people of color in Saugatuck.

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Oh, also! I spotted McLeod Farms peaches at the Holland Meijer, where they cost $1.29/lb. So if you live in Michigan, you should definitely look for them the next time you’re at Meijer. ✨

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Anomia is my new favorite group game

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I played a new-to-me game called Anomia ($14.39 from Amazon) for the first time with friends last weekend and I liked it so much, I ordered it for myself before I’d even left the party!

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Here’s the high-level explanation of how it works: players take turns drawing cards; the goal is to be the first person to blurt out a word that fits the category on any other card that has the same symbol as your card does. So if you are holding a card with a yellow diamond that says “U.S. president,” and someone draws a card with a yellow diamond that says “something with wings,” then you want to shout out something with wings before the person with the other card names a U.S. president.

Anomia is mostly about concentration and creativity, and I really enjoyed it! It’s very portable (important!!!) and park-friendly, a single game goes quickly, and it’s just fun. It’s much easier to learn than Codenames (though I do love Codenames); it’s more fun than Apples to Apples; and it’s way more wholesome/SFW than Cards Against Humanity. (That said, if you do enjoy CAH, you might like Anomia X, a sold-separately version of the game that has “bad manners.”)

Per the product page, it’s for 3-6 players, ages 10+ (but there’s a kids’ version for ages 5+), and it’s possible to play it if you’re colorblind (because the colors on the cards don’t matter — only the symbols do).

Overall, it’s just incredibly low-maintenance and fun, and I’ll definitely be packing it for my family vacation next month!

Buy it from Amazon for $14.39. (There is also a “party version” that has four additional decks aka more variety for $24.) ✨

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RosĂŠ + Spindrift is my go-to drink for summer 2019

Image of bottle of rosĂŠ and can of Spindrift on red wooden table on sunny rooftop with patio furniture and string lights

Last month, I came across this tweet from Maris Kreizman: “I don’t know who needs to hear this but Raspberry Lime Spindrift mixed with rosé is the ideal summer spritzer.”

Reader, it is good. I don’t actually love Spindrift, rosé, or lime flavoring alone, but the combination just works. I’ve brought it to a few parties and it’s been a hit every time! Highly recommend. ✨

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Notes on Camp (Pride)

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A couple weeks ago, my girlfriend and I threw a Pride party. Pride means something different to every queer person; this year, she and I were both in need of community, friendship, joy, humor, creativity, and something public(ish), and that’s exactly what we got. The party was affirming and special and lovely and fun, and I’m so glad we did it.

So that is what the party was about, but that’s not what Pride as a whole is about (read more on that topic in the New York Times here and here), and it’s not what this post is about! This post is about cute enamel pins, delicious jello shots, and tips for assembling beaded friendship bracelets when you’ve consumed several of said jello shots and are sitting on a very windy roof. I actually wasn’t planning to write about the party at all, but after I got some questions about it on Instagram, I decided to share some details about the DIY projects, the relevant shopping links*, and my thoughts on what worked well. But I don’t want to give the impression that that’s all that this party (or Pride in general) meant to me.


*If this post happens to generate any affiliate revenue, I’m planning to donate it to the Audre Lorde project.

Cool? Cool. Onto the party!

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The theme

We started planning this party right after the Met Gala, so when the topic of theme came up, I was like, “Literal camp? Please, I’m begging you????” (I’ve always just loved summer camp shit.) The camp theme worked out well — it’s summery, it’s equal parts wholesome and horny, and it’s really practical/inexpensive to pull off. (Like, most of what we needed could be found at any party store/craft store/big-box store.) Plus, allies could easily dress on theme without worrying about being appropriative.

The week leading up to the party felt like a combination of Halloween, school plays, and summer camp, and I was living for it. It’s been a while since I got to do a big burst of arts and crafts like this, and it felt great.

The refreshments

We didn’t do anything too special in this regard, but we did make these cherry lemonade jello shots. I tend to hate the taste of jello shots but these did not taste like vodka at all. Definitely recommend! I also made French onion dip using the classic Lipton mix because it never fails, and I believe in giving people what they want!

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The decorations

We kept the decor very low-key overall, and bought everything from Michaels and Party City. Early on, we talked about doing more in terms of decor, but it wasn’t logistically possible and it wouldn’t have been worth it anyway. As someone who always wants to do The Most (I take after my mom in this regard!), it was nice to give myself permission to just…not.

We did spend a not-insignificant amount of time at Party City on 14th Street trying to figure out the exact right combination of colored cups for our rainbow. (They stock…way more options than you might think?!) I think every single color was in our cart briefly at some point, but honestly, it was worth it. And the coral cups we found on a Pantone Color of the Year display at the last minute really pulled their weight. Also, the Pendleton-knockoff blanket my girlfriend found in the back of her closet two days before the party made a great second tablecloth. We also bought glow sticks and bubbles, and asked a friend to bring her Instax camera.

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The pennants

My girlfriend suggested we make collegiate-style pennants as part of the decor, and I had made some in the past and thought it would be a good low-lift option for this party! This project was mostly just a treat for me, and an excuse to dust off my beloved Cricut (gifted to me years ago). The pennant slogans were Gal Pals, Gay!, Bottoms, We’re Tops!, Both Teams, Pride, and Horny. And you might not be able to tell from the photos, but the lettering was glittery/holographic. 

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The pronoun koozies

I decided to buy a set of 12 solid colored koozies on Amazon during one of our big party purchases, thinking they’d be cute/colorful/festive, and that maybe I could add some fun text onto them. The colors were a bit disappointing IRL — like, a third of them were really muddy — so I decided to buy a second 12-pack of all lavender koozies, which were perfect, especially alongside the brighter colors. I really wanted to Cricut some kind of word or phrase onto them, but I knew whatever I went with would have to be really short to fit/be legible. Meanwhile, we’d had a difficult time finding pronoun stickers or temporary tattoos in time for the party. It was my girlfriend’s idea to just put the pronouns on the koozies, and it felt like a win-win. (I also left several blank so there were options.)

For reasons too boring and complicated to get into here, I had a bunch of unexpected trouble with the iron-on vinyl at first, so these projects could have looked a lot better, but I think they still looked pretty OK! The rainbow holographic vinyl is really special and looked so beautiful on the koozies IRL, and I’m excited to use it on other projects! (Oh, and if you’re wondering, that font is Corben Bold.)

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The friendship bracelets

This was also my girlfriend’s idea, and I was all for it, as I love friendship bracelets. I’m also a big fan of having some sort of activity at every party that’s neither drinking nor dancing. We had a bunch of embroidery floss for braided bracelets at the ready, but — perhaps unsurprisingly — everyone wanted to make letter bead bracelets that said things like “horny” and “butthole” and “Kirstie Alley” instead.


Here’s what I will say: I spent my evenings the week leading up to the party making beaded bracelets for my girlfriend and I and for some of my close friends, because I wanted to get good at it before we unleashed them on the world. And it turns out, this was the right move — letter bead bracelets are surprisingly fussy! For starters, you can’t put most letter beads on embroidery floss (it’s too thick), and working with the elastic cord definitely takes some getting used to. And you need to have some kind of stopper on the string when you are adding the beads so they don’t fall off. Also, if people fuck up when tying a completed bead bracelet, it’ll break. They’ll have wasted all that time and energy making a bracelet, and you’ll end up with beads everywhere, which no one wants. In our case, I ended up printing out a bunch of tips for making the beaded bracelets + an image of how to tie them in case I wasn’t around to do it, which felt a tiny bit extra but turned out to be a good idea. Another tip: keep all of the supplies on large tray to help avoid a major bead incident and to make cleanup easier. (The tray was also very helpful when I was working on the bracelets in the apartment.) And don’t ignore the advice to pre-stretch the cord, and to reinforce the knot with super glue.


That said, it was completely worth the effort because the bracelets were cute and funny and fun and very photogenic. And a lot more people than I was expecting to made bracelets, which made me happy! But it’s not the kind of thing we could have just decided to do a day before and had it work.

Tutorials I used:

Shopping list:

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The outfits

Our guests showed up in a range of great on-theme looks that included “slutty Boy Scout,” a Smokey Bear–style uniform and hat, and an extremely minor character in The Parent Trap. There were also lots of good neckerchiefs and accessories, and everyone looked so summery and cute! (We also bought a pack of 12 neckerchiefs in solid colors in case anyone was feeling stressed about what to wear.) 


For our part, my girlfriend and I decided to bring Big Camp Counselor Energy. (TBH, I think I bring that energy…most days.)


I wore a light blue ringer tee, mustard yellow dolphin shorts with a pastel rainbow patch, a rainbow striped bandanna, my sparkle emoji pin, and my National Parks–inspired rainbow pin that says “This land was made for you and me.” (This pin makes me and also everyone who reads it surprisingly emotional???) And I wore striped camp socks and my blue Crocinstocks from Freedom Moses. My girlfriend’s outfit was essentially the same, but she had a mustard yellow ringer tee, lavender shorts, lavender slides, and her own enamel pins. And we both had gold whistles, plus friendship bracelets we made ourselves that matched our own personal aesthetics.

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I also went to Sephora for a makeup mini the day of, which is a free thing anyone can do! You just have to book ahead (go here, and then filter by “services”) and they’ll do a 15-minute makeup application of your choosing (so, in my case, eye makeup and fake lashes). It was nice to not have to worry about it, and meant I didn’t have to buy the incredibly beautiful $40 Tarte palette for just a single use of that amazing gold glittery shadow.

Shopping list: 

One final thing…

I’ve written before about how much I love The Art of Gathering by Priya Parker, and once again, it really came in handy! We put so much of the advice from the book into practice for this party, including pre-game your guests, don’t be a chill host, and don’t end a funeral with logistics. But the tip that really served us was setting a purpose for the gathering. Doing that back in May was really helpful, and it meant we knew exactly what a “good” party would feel like. It was just a great night all around, and everyone who came really showed up for us. It was all really special, and I just feel so happy and grateful right now! ☀️

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I just really love Paperless Post Flyers

I mentioned Paperless Post Flyers a few months ago in my newsletter, but because they got such a good reaction (seriously, very rarely do people reach out to tell me they liked a thing, but multiple people told me they found the Flyers mention helpful) and because I was just working on one last night, I thought I’d mention them again!

The flyers (which are free!) are perfect for casual parties/gatherings. The templates and available images/gifs are trendy and cute, and you can also customize them/upload your own stuff. And they look good on mobile! (You can view the live — far less blurry! — version of the example flyer shown above here on desktop or mobile. BTW, I turned off the RSVP button — since it’s a fake party — but every template has the option.) I also love that you have the option to text people the link to the flyer (vs. having of send it over email). Mainly, they offer a much-needed alternative to FB party invites.

Overall, they are just a bit cooler than regular Paperless Post e-vites — truly more like a flyer than a traditional mailed invitation. Since we’re heading into summer party season, I thought it was worth putting them back on everyone’s radar! 🎉

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Tiny party tip: change your guest Wi-Fi network name to something fun/relevant before you host

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

Here’s a cute idea that I picked up from my friend Tashween: if you’re having a party or hosting out-of-town guests, change the name of your guest Wi-Fi network and the password to something related to the event, and then give everyone the info in the invitation (and/or at the gathering itself).

For example, when I threw a potato party in March 2015, I named the guest Wi-Fi network Starch Madness, and the password was something like tatersgonnatate. More recently, I’ve just been making the network name the name of the party itself, and then doing a cute/relevant/easy to type but still secure password.

Is changing your guest network name absolutely necessary? Of course not. Is it silly and fun and a cute way to pre-game your gathering? It is! It’s also also a subtle flex, implying that you have your shit together enough to actually know your internet provider login information, and can therefore easily change your Wi-Fi password whenever you feel like it. Your parents’ “6hNq_27vhUo5nME” could never. ✨

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A modest proposal: Take notes when you’re hanging out with friends

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I’ve written before about my friend Julia’s Ladies Article Club, which I’ve had the pleasure of attending on a couple of occasions when I’ve been in D.C. visiting her. I love a lot of things about it, but one of my favorite aspects is that someone always takes notes during the gathering. The note-taker writes down anything that comes up during the conversation that warrants some kind of follow-up — so basically, if someone mentions a product or a recipe or a podcast episode or a good Instagram account, the note-taker adds it to her list. Then she’ll start an email thread with everyone later on to collect/share the items mentioned.

I’ve always thought this idea was so smart and efficient, and I’ve started doing it more when hanging out with friends — even, just, like, during a coffee date. I like doing it because it’s practical, but also because writing these items down in my journal creates a mini diary entry about the hangout/the conversation.


Last month, I was at my friend Emily’s apartment for a little friend dinner party, and when she mentioned a book she liked, I said, “Wait, I’m going to write down the stuff we talk about so I can look it up later.” I pulled out my notebook and pen and Jess said, “Welcome to Rachel’s meeting,” and everyone laughed. AND YET! An hour or so later, Emily asked me where my pullover and my socks were from, and when I told her, she said, “Wait, I want to write all this down,” and took out her phone and opened the Notes app. And later that night, after we’d all gone home, Jess texted the group and said, “Who is sending out the meeting notes?” And we all sent around the things that we’d discussed and made note of.

I always think I’m going to remember all the things I mention or that my friend mentions when we’re hanging out, but when you’re with smart/well-read/interesting people, that’s basically impossible. Just take notes! ✍🏽

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