Filtered by Category: Living

'Nocs walk 02

Our neighborhood ‘nocs walks are continuing apace! Here are some of the birds we’ve spotted in the past month…

Male mallard duck standing on rocks on bank of East River

Male mallard

Male mallard duck standing on rocks on bank of East River

Male mallard

Female mallard duck standing on rocks on bank of East River

Female mallard

Small flock of brants on the East River

Brants

Starling sitting on a wire fence

Starling

Male house sparrow sitting on temporary wire fence

House sparrow

White-throated sparrow on the ground

White-throated sparrow

White-throated sparrow standing on tree root on the ground

White-throated sparrow

Camera/lens: Nikon D3000 + Nikon AF-P DX NIKKOR 70-300mm f/4.5-6.3G ED lens

Nocs: Pentax UP 10x21 pink binoculars (hers) and Carson VP series full sized or compact waterproof high definition binoculars (mine)

Location: WNYC Transmitter Park 🐤

🍑

'Nocs walk 01

My girlfriend and I made a goal for this month to go on at least one excursion with our binoculars — a ‘nocs walk! — every week. We actually did three this week, but today’s was the first one where I had the pre-owned telephoto lens I bought last week. Here are some of the birds we saw:

Red-tailed hawk

American robin

Female house sparrow

Male house sparrow

Male house sparrow

White-throated sparrow

House sparrow

Rock pigeon

Camera/lens: Nikon D3000 + Nikon AF-P DX NIKKOR 70-300mm f/4.5-6.3G ED lens

Nocs: Pentax UP 10x21 pink binoculars (hers) and Carson VP series full sized or compact waterproof high definition binoculars (mine)

Location: McCarren Park 🐦

🍑

Just a bunch of good Thanksgiving shit

fall flowers from farmers market

U.S. Thanksgiving is right around the corner (as are a bunch of other cooking + family holidays), so I thought it would be a good time to share a bunch of resources and tips that might be helpful as you think about how you’ll spend your holiday!

Education

pumpkin pie with a star-shaped piece of crust in the center

Making cooking more pleasant and less stressful

Generally speaking

Recipes

This is the Thanksgiving menu I’m working with this year, all of which I made last yer and loved.

  • Beef tenderloin with homemade horseradish sauce from Joy of Cooking

Also, it is my sincerely-held belief that the most important thing you will eat on any big holiday is actually breakfast. I feel like people often overlook it because they want to get started cooking (or they don’t know what to have because they’re in someone else’s home) and think it’ll be fine because they are going to eat a big meal later…and then they are starving and extremely cranky by noon. So plan ahead! When hosting, I’m a huge fan of a make-ahead breakfast casserole. And if you’re not the one hosting…maybe offer to make a make-ahead breakfast casserole?

Food-related bonus reads

Having people over

Generally speaking

Family stuff

Decorations

Pre-dinner readings

Thanksgiving spread in a Brooklyn apartment

Entertainment and games


🍑

The best shows to watch with parents, in-laws, and other family members

Hello, friends! Today, for your reading pleasure, Terri, an expert in parent-friendly entertainment (among other topics), is treating us to some fresh recs! —Rachel

Between March 2020 and March 2021, I spent eight months living with my parents. That is eight out of 12 months. Two-thirds of a year. Nearly every weeknight, and on some weekend nights too, we’d plop down on the couch, someone would turn on the TV, and then that same someone would say, “So, what should we put on?” Even though that someone was often my dad, it wasn’t always — because he got to the point where he’d sooner sit in a silent room than have to piece together the jigsaw puzzle titled, “Something Inoffensive, Entertaining, Digestible, and Broadly Appealing.”

As I’m sure you’ve experienced with family members, it is extremely difficult to find something to watch that fits into those categories. And among me and my parents, the Venn diagram of our TV interests intersects in a space no larger than a chia seed.

Anything we watched had to satisfy these criteria:

  • Nothing political (there’s a time and a place for that, but it’s just...not every single night after dinner)

  • No reality TV (my mom and I love it, my dad hates it)

  • Nothing too murdery (in a fun generational twist, my parents adore Dateline, but it kept me up at night in our quiet suburban house)

  • Preferably no movies (my mom and I don’t have the patience, my dad absolutely does)

  • Extra points if it’s a documentary 

  • Preferably something in multiple parts, to stave off the next search for a show for as long as possible

Unsurprisingly, many nights passed where I watched Too Hot to Handle on my iPad while my parents watched Mecum Auto Auctions (don’t ask) next to me on the couch. I know I could go to my room like an angsty teenager — I was in my childhood home, after all — but the time with my parents felt sacred and fleeting, even though, as I have to point out again, it lasted eight months in total. So I really, really wanted to solve that jigsaw puzzle (both literally and figuratively; I love a j-puzz).

And by god, we really did manage to find some stuff that we all not only tolerated, but actually really liked. And I’m telling you, if these worked for me and my parents, then you and yours will absolutely like them too. Consider this your next TV show playlist for the next holiday, visit home, family vacation, or, god forbid, extended global pandemic.

Stuff you maybe haven’t watched yet, but should

  • Finding Your Roots with Henry Louis Gates. At the start of the pandemic, I started paying for a PBS subscription, thereby giving me streaming access to their entire library  of programs (including Ken Burns documentaries and entire live recordings of Broadway shows, both of which always get a collective “hell yeah” from Bob and Carol). It’s one of the best things I did, partially because it gave us access to this jewel of a show. Gates meets up with celebrities of all stripes (Jordan Peele! Bernie Sanders!), traces their lineage, tells them stories about their ancestors they never knew, and sometimes tells them about other celebs they’re related to. (This is the show where it was discovered that Larry David and Bernie are actually related.) It’s so charming, offers a very personal insight into history, and Gates is an engaging, delightful host. I liked it so much I’ve been watching ever since I went back to my own apartment.

  • Only Connect. This is an extremely British game show in which teams of three try to make connections among seemingly disparate bits of trivia and words. When I say it’s extremely British, I mean there are countless questions about cricket, “footballers,” British counties and towns, and at least one question about some creature named Basil Brush. Even if you consider yourself a smart person, it will make you feel like an idiot, but it’s so fun, I promise. The host, Victoria Coren Mitchell, is equal parts warm, witty, and excoriating, and has a ton of fun with the supremely nerdy contestants who toil away at the questions for literally no prize other than a plaque. It airs on the BBC in the UK, but you can watch on YouTube in the U.S.

  • The Food that Made America. This is a docu-series on the History Channel, because you know I had to include something from the History Channel on a list of shows I watched with my parents. This one is super fun: It traces the history of some of the most iconic food brands, like Coca-Cola, Hershey’s, and Frito-Lay, and intersperses it with some truly cringe-worthy reenactments. Somehow, every single company was founded by two brothers who eventually hated each other because one only cared about the business and the other wanted to fuck around. Anyway. It’s pretty entertaining, and you learn stuff! And crave some snacks.

  • Modern Marvels. This comes on right after The Food that Made America, and if you, like my mom, have a tendency to fall asleep during a show for 10 minutes or more, you might wake up and be like, “Oh cool, same show.” But this one has Adam Richman (the Man vs. Food guy), and in the most recent season I watched, he shows you how all kinds of foods are made. He shows you chocolate chip cookies, chips, ice cream, and goes inside the factories, and it’s all very informative and mouth-watering and broadly appealing. No one will object. What more are you really asking for?

  • The World Poker Tour. Listen, sometimes you need to space out and listen to Vince van Patten and Tony Dunst narrate the action as some dude name Joe tries to hide that he has pocket aces. I finally got somewhat decent at playing poker while I was home, so we watched a lot of the World Poker Tour. Even though the ads are interminable, it was pretty entertaining, and helped me beat my 8-year-old niece at the game at least twice. If you want something that’s literally always on, no matter when you want to watch it, this is perfect.

  • Buying Alaska. This is somehow not on HGTV. It follows people trying to buy homes in Alaska, the more remote and the fewer the toilets, the better. It’s pretty entertaining because it includes more about the lifestyle of Alaskans than HGTV shows tend to include — but also, some people just really want to live among the moose, and I find that charming.

  • The Plot Against America. This was really gripping stuff! It’s alternate history based on a book by Philip Roth about what the world would look like if Charles Lindbergh defeated FDR in the 1940 presidential election. It’s obviously fiction, but the sobering depiction of rising fascism and antisemitism felt… not that far off! I know I said we usually avoid anything remotely political, but we’re Jewish, and the story about a Jewish family really hooked us in.

Some stuff you’ve definitely heard of and/or watched, but shouldn’t discount:

  • Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives

  • Operation Varsity Blues: The College Admissions Scandal

  • Curb Your Enthusiasm

  • The Stanley Tucci CNN show in Italy

  • The Queen’s Gambit

  • The Crown

Thank you, Terri! Finally, here are a few of my personal recs for family-friendly entertainment: Defunctland (make a playlist of all the vids that sound good to you and let it rock), The Last Dance, Winning Time: Reggie Miller vs. the New York Knicks, Untold: Crime & Penalties, The Imagineering Story, and Ken Burns’ Prohibition (which it will not surprise you to hear that Terri actually recommended to me a few years ago). —RWM 📺

🍑

Bags within bags!

Baby baggu bag filled with knitting project and smaller mesh storage bags

Today I’m here to sing the praises of an organizational system I creatively refer to as “bags within bags,” which I’ve been using to keep several aspects of my life organized for the past few months.

ACS_0533 2.JPG

I don’t normally carry a very big bag (if I carry one at all), but when I do carry a tote for whatever reason, I really hate having all my stuff just...floating around in it. I don’t want to have to root around for something, wondering the whole time if I remembered to bring it with me; I want to be able to find it quickly and easily so I can move on with my life! This became a problem over the summer, when we started going to the beach regularly. I wanted to be able to easily grab things like chapstick, car keys, hand sanitizer, etc. and not worry about anything spilling or getting lost. So I decided I’d just buy a couple of small mesh travel pouches…but the thing that made the most sense at the time turned out to be a set of 18 (!!!) zipper mesh bags of varying sizes that cost $12.99 on Amazon.

ACS_0538 2.jpg

This turned out to be an incredible purchase, which I didn’t really expect. The smaller pouches did exactly what I needed them to do, and the larger sizes (which are really quite sizable) meant I could put bigger bottles of sunscreen or bug spray in their own bag as well. Great! My beach bag problem was perfectly solved! But the mesh bags really began to shine when I picked up knitting again. 

After a few weeks of working on a couple of different knitting projects at once, I realized I needed a better way to corral all my stuff and not have half-knitted sweaters perched on every flat surface. This led me to the baby Baggu bag ($10 from Baggu or Amazon) which is the perfect size for 1–2 knitting projects. (It’s smaller than your standard canvas tote, but bigger than a brown paper lunch bag.) The baby Baggu made it easier to just keep the needles, yarn, and instructions I needed close at hand, and to easily move everything from, say, the bedroom to the living room or up to the roof, or wherever I felt like knitting on a given day.

But I still had the problem of a lot of small loose items (a measuring tape, knitting markers, tiny scissors, crochet hook, etc.) floating around the bottom of the bag. So I pulled out some of the extra mesh bags I had and organized everything in the baby Baggu. The size 9 and 10 needles of varying lengths I was using for one project went into one mesh bag, while the size 4 and 6 needles I needed for another project went in their own — so I no longer had to sort through all my needles to find just the size 9 40 cm circular needles. I put my needle stoppers (which I’ve found are weirdly hard to keep track of) in a small bag of their own, and put my remaining tools in their own bag.

This new system was nothing short of life-changing. 

ACS_0537 2.JPG

When my girlfriend and I drove up to Maine last week, we used more of the mesh bags (because, remember, the set came with 18 bags) for all of our toiletries/products, as well as things we wanted to have handy at all times (like phone chargers, contacts, and bandaids). I took the Fjallraven Kanken backpack I bought for the trip with me everywhere, and being able to throw the appropriate mini bags into it depending on where we were going/what we needed was so helpful. And on the couple of occasions when I wanted to take my knitting out with me, I just put the single project I was focusing on into the Fjallraven, and then added the small mesh bag with all of my tools in case of a knitting emergency. 


Being far from home/driving for 10+ hours/out all day in a national park for the first time was mildly nerve-wracking, and it was a huge relief to not be stressed about where my car keys, eye drops, and granola bars were. But even when I’m just knitting at home, it’s just been so nice to know where all my shit is.

ACS_0531 2.JPG

Get the mesh bags from Amazon for $12.99 and the baby Baggu bag for $10 from Baggu or Amazon. 🎒

🍑

Good summer hostess gifts (or, a mid-year just-because mini gift guide)

Photo description: A blue and white striped beach towel on top of artificial grass. On top of the towel is a pack of Dad Grass, a red disposable LeBox camera, and the game The Bears and the Bees.

Now that people in the U.S. are getting vaccinated and starting to see friends again, whether at dinner parties or for long weekends, I thought it might be a good time to share some nice little host/ess gifts to bring along for the ride.

To me, the best host gifts have an element of whimsy or play — i.e., they are things that people wouldn’t necessarily buy for themselves (though you can/should buy these things for yourself), but will be delighted to have in their home. Below are some of my current favorite options, most of which are under $20.

Edible gifts

Pickles + a pickle fork.

I mentioned this elsewhere recently, but I’ve found that pickles make a great last-minute/unexpected addition to a buffet or snack spread, and a really good last-minute thing to bring to a party. I personally love the Claussen kosher dill pickles you can only find in the refrigerated section at grocery stores, but there’s also no shortage of fancy artisanal pickles on the market right now. In any case, this is one of the more casual items on the list, which is why the dedicated pickle fork is a nice addition. You could go with a classic silver ($9.45 for a set of two on Amazon) or one that can be strapped right on to the pickle jar ($8.99 on Amazon), which makes for an especially nice gift presentation. If you wanted to lean into the barbecue theme, you could do a pickle fork + dedicated potato chip tongs ($9.87 on Amazon) + a 12-pack of red plastic burger baskets ($10.97 on Amazon).

Triple cream brie + cheese vault.

Are you sensing a theme here? To me, food item + non-perishable food related gift is a golden combination! In this case, I was planning on just recommending the brie alone, but then I stumbled on this cheese vault ($34 from Food52), and, well, it felt like fate! Back to the brie for a second though: I first learned of it from my friend Emily Fleishaker, an excellent cook and host, who also happens to work for NYT Cooking. She served it to me once and I was immediately sold. Cheese shops should have at least one triple cream brie, as will Whole Foods, and it’s just so good and is genuinely gift-worthy. If you didn’t want to pair it with the cheese vault, some hot honey would also be nice.

Luxardo cherries.

Here’s how much I love these cherries: several years ago, I spent $99 on a 6-pound can of them, because that was the only way you could get them. Now, luckily, they’ve become a bit more mainstream, and you can get a jar that would fit on most bar carts for $24.99 on Amazon. I think the cherries stand alone quite well, but if you wanted to add a little something, search “vintage cocktail picks” on Etsy and find a set that matches your host’s interests/aesthetic.

Non-edible gifts

A little game you play with cards.

I’m very into little games you play with cards (as in, games you play with a unique deck and just that deck) right now, in part because they are easy to store and to bring along to a picnic or a house party or beach trip. Some options: The Bears and the Bees ($14.99 but currently on sale for $8.99), Sushi Go ($7.39), Strawberry Sunset ($12.95), and Anomia ($15.50) (+ review here). (Also, all of these aside from Anomia just require two players, which is nice!)

A good disposable camera.

Disposable cameras are a fun little treat that have been having a moment lately. I recently bought a bunch of LeBox 400 cameras for summer fun — apparently they take really good photos in general, but especially in very bright sunlight, which is ideal for the beach. (They also have a flash, so you can use them basically wherever.) Get one on Amazon for $15.79.

Some Dad Grass.

This is more of a gift you bring to share, imo, but you could also bring an extra pack to leave with your host at the end of the trip if they like it. It’s super mellow and not scary, which is exactly what I’m in the mood for these days. Get a pack of five joints from Dad Grass for $35. (BTW if you use this link, we’ll both get $10 off.) ☀️

🍑

Tomatoes!

I’ve had tomatoes on my mind since a friend shared this New Yorker cartoon that has the caption, “Summer’s here. Do you want to start talking incessantly about tomatoes or corn?”

While I don’t truly love tomatoes like some people do, I realized there’s a handful of tomato-centric recipes that I really like, and that I figured are worth re-upping as tomato season approaches!

First, there’s this Claire Lower/Lifehacker post that is nothing short of life-changing: Marinate Your Tomatoes for Extra Flavorful BLTs. I can’t say with 100% confidence that this will make even tomato-haters like tomatoes, but I do think if you’re not, like, actively repulsed by tomatoes, this marinade might be enough to get you to a place of real enjoyment. I made a batch of these last night and even though the tomatoes I got aren’t even that good, they were still great! (I’m extra thrilled because I just bought a bottle of the much-loved Kewpie mayo, making these BLTs even more special.)


Next, up: Nora Ephron’s tomato sauce, via Kelsey Miller/A Cup of Jo. After I read this for the first time, I went on a farmers market trek to find the perfect tomatoes, and when I finally secured them and made the recipe, it did not disappoint. I’m looking forward to making this one in August…it’s not time just yet.


Moving on to cherry tomatoes…I love the roasted tomato, feta, and chickpea mix in this recipe.

Finally, if you can’t choose between tomatoes or corn, I humbly suggest NYT Cooking’s summer shrimp scampi with tomatoes and corn. We use canned corn for this, and have made it without the shrimp on several occasions, and always get great results. 🍅

🍑

A small nice new year thing: a house journal

Top down photo of a navy blue Public Supply brand notebook held shut with a copper binder clip, on a wooden table next to a potted plant

Here’s a little thing my girlfriend and I started at the beginning of the month: a house journal. We took an extra notebook I had and started using it for making shared lists, like movies we want to watch, recipes we’ve made, things we’re planning, etc. We’re also doing one weekly entry, on Sunday nights, where we do a quick recap list of the week’s highlights — shows we watched, purchases, any good things that happened, etc.. It’s a super low-stakes way to do pandemic journaling, and also just practical. I still have my own journal for my to-do lists, knitting projects, diary entries, etc., but I’m finding it really nice to have a singular place to document and keep track of things this year. ✍🏽

🍑

Just a bunch of Christmas shit I’m into right now

advent spiral.jpg

Hi! Even though Christmas is only a few days away and a lot of your planning/shopping/decorating is likely done, I thought I’d share some of the festive recipes/playlists/DIY projects I’m into right now!

Decorations

I bought the wooden Advent spiral above from OakTree Vibrations on Etsy and it’s been such a nice addition to our home! (It looks like the shop is currently closed FYI.) Figuring out the right size candles was a Whole Thing, but I’m currently using these white candles with a little ball of clay stuck under each one to hold them in place.

I’m also very, very, very happy with my bay leaf wreath, which I’ve wanted for years.

This is my go-to method for lighting a tree; it works perfectly every time.

Here’s a Twitter thread of all my favorite Christmas aesthetics.


If you want some additional inspiration/dreaminess, look no further than this Swedish blog.

And if you want to go in an entirely different direction (read: kitsch), I cannot recommend these gold and silver “curtains” ($15.99 for a set of four from Amazon) enough! I bought them as part of the decor for my girlfriend’s birthday last week and she loved them — they totally transformed our space and made it look like a cozy/cool bar. Pair it with a mini LED party light (which we had lying around from a company swag bag, but you can get one for $16.99 on Amazon) on the red/green setting and you’ll be in business.

Finally, a tiny tip from me to you: If you have a smart plug, put your Christmas tree on it! It’s really nice to be able to turn it off from bed at night, especially if you live alone — it’s like having someone tuck you in.

Things to make

Some fun things from my IG saved items: googly eyes on gifts, a gift wrap gift bow, peppermint sparkle, a Caprese candy cane board, and baked gruyère with garlic and herb (recipe here).

Also: how to transform a Christmas garland, how to make a very cute Christmas tree train, and how to make a gift bow out of newsprint. I’m also planning to make tissue paper stars and eggnog snickerdoodles this week.

Holiday entertainment

TV: I’ve been absolutely obsessed with NYT Cooking’s Christmas cookie videos; they are all so soothing and nice! I also love 2019’s cookie medley; Susan Spungen feels like a real life version of Meryl Streep’s character in It’s Complicated. We’ve also been watching old holiday themed Barefoot Contessa episodes, which is delightful.


Movies: Jingle Jangle is great! Dolly Parton’s Christmas on the Square, however, is unwatchable. And I’m due for a Carol rewatch. On Wednesday, we’re going to inflate the air mattress in front of the couch (basically turning the living room into one large soft square) and cover everything in Christmas/winter blankets, and then we’re going to watch National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, Elf, and a couple other classics.

Books: David Sedaris’s “SantaLand Diaries” is a classic. And I’m really enjoying re-reading Elin Hildebrand’s Winter Street novels.

Holiday vibes

Here are some of my favorite Christmas playlists and albums:

I definitely need to make a new mega Christmas playlist at some point soon because the one I spent several years curating has been lost in the abyss of iTunes on old computers.

I’m also still drinking a lot of hot chocolate, and VanLeeuwen’s peppermint stick ice cream is currently on my grocery list.

Not all yule logs are created equal! After trying a bunch, I’ve found that I like this fireplace best. I also love this soothing snowy scene.

Finally, here are some old pieces of mine/that I edited that you might enjoy right now:

And there’s still time to send gifts/gift cards to trans young people in need via @transanta! ✨

🍑

How are we shipping everyone’s holiday gifts this year?

Shipping boxes under a Christmas tree

One of the things I’ve been thinking about in the past month or so, and haven’t really seen discussed much anywhere, is how people are planning to give gifts to long-distance relatives who they won’t be seeing in person this year. As someone who has done holidays this way several times now, I have some thoughts! 


Ultimately, I don’t think there’s a perfect or universal solution; I think there are simply options.

Option 1: Having anything you buy online sent to you, so you can wrap it, repack it, and send it the gift recipient yourself. 

Pros: Nice if you’re giving someone multiple gifts from different retailers or creating some kind of gift basket situation; necessary if you’re shopping locally or doing DIY gifts. 


Cons: Might require you to pay shipping costs twice; is a lot more work; will likely require a trip to the post office unless you have a postal scale; is not exactly environmentally friendly; is not really possible for last-minute gifts. 


My personal verdict: Deeply not ideal, but might be necessary in some cases — and in those instances, avoiding the post office at peak times is going to be key.

Option 2: Shopping online and sending directly to the recipient (either wrapped or unwrapped).

Pros: You’ll only have to pay for shipping once, and a single direct route is going to be the most environmentally friendly.


Cons: There’s no way to see an item before the recipient does (to ensure it’s what you ordered, that nothing is broken, etc); is not an option for DIY/homemade gifts; is not the easiest if you’re ordering a bunch of small gifts for multiple people from the same retailer; it’s maybe not as fun for the recipient to open; not all retailers offer gift receipts/a ”don’t include the invoice” option (which is bonkers to me, especially right now — looking at you, ShopPay).


Verdict: I think this is a very good way to go! Shipping boxes are a form of wrapping, and you can totally put unopened gifts in their shipping under (or near) a tree. (I have done it! It’s fine! Nice, even!) I think this year, we need to let go of some things, and “perfectly wrapped gifts under the tree” are one of those things. (Related: we simply can’t be crowding into post offices in a desperate attempt to avoid having stray packing slips show up in a gift box — it’s going to happen and everyone just needs to simply politely ignore them and/or stop pretending gifts don’t cost an exact amount of money.) 


I actually sent a couple of gifts this way this week, and simply texted my friend to let her know that when she gets packages from X brand and Y brand, those are from me. Easy! 

Sending gifts directly from the retailer to someone who is local to the recipient, and having that person open the package, wrap the gift(s) on your behalf, deliver to the recipient. 

Pros: Means someone will be able to have eyes on the gift before the recipient does; solves the “I couldn’t do a gift receipt so now you know exactly what I spent” problem. 


Cons: Only really works if there’s someone else you can send it to who is willing/able to do this work for you.


Verdict: This is a great option if it’s available to you! I sent my brother’s gift this way — addressed to my mom — and I’m feeling pretty good about it. But obviously it won’t always be possible — in which case, I think Option 2 is the way to go.

Whatever you decide to do, try not to be too precious about it! When things feel super out of control, it can be really easy to put all your anxiety and fear onto something like, say, wrapping paper. But remember: in this wildly shitty year, whoever is receiving your gift will just be touched that you’re thinking about them. 📦

Related, possibly of interest: Food52’s tips for safely mailing treats so they arrive fresh and crumble-free and this funny tweet.

🍑

This is the only store-bought hot chocolate mix I recognize

After trying a bunch of store-bought hot chocolate mixes last year and being extremely disappointed by all of them, my gf and I finally came across one that we ended up loving: Lake Champlain traditional hot chocolate mix.

Lake Champlain Chocolates traditional hot chocolate mix canister sitting in front of a decorated and lit Christmas tree

I meant to write about it at the time, but never got around to it — and then remembered yesterday, when I came across the pics on my phone. It’s just, like, a perfect classic hot chocolate that you make with hot milk.

We discovered it at Whole Foods, but ordered more directly from the Lake Champlain website (where it’s $13 for 16 ounces). It’s also available from Amazon ($14.22 for 16 ounces).

And if you want to make something from scratch, my friend Jess’s hot chocolate recipe has been my go-to for years! I’ve actually got plans to make it (minus the booze, because I can currently only handle a thimble full of liquor) this weekend. ☃️

🍑

Sausage, potato, and white bean soup

Two bowls of sausage, potato, and white bean soup on a wood table with crescent rolls, apple cider, and a taper candle burning low in a white holder

I recently dusted off this recipe — which I first posted about several blogs/years ago, and which was inspired by Olive Garden’s Zuppa toscana soup — and made some tweaks to it, and I’ve been making it regularly ever since. I had forgotten how easy and good it is! It’s also very forgiving; sometimes I’ll add more broth, or not measure out the olive oil or cream perfectly, or I’ll skip the kale because I don’t have any, and it always turns out really well.

Ingredients

  • 1 tsp olive oil

  • 1–2 cloves garlic, minced

  • 1 small onion, chopped

  • 1 lb. ground Italian sausage (or use regular ground sausage and add 1 tbsp Italian seasoning)

  • 2–3 large carrots, peeled and diced

  • 5 and ½ cups chicken broth

  • 4–6 small red potatoes, chopped into bite-sized pieces

  • one can of cannellini beans (or other white beans), drained and rinsed

  • one bunch kale, torn into bite-sized pieces

  • ½ cup heavy cream

Instructions

  1. Heat a large pot over medium-high heat and add olive oil, garlic, onion, carrots, sausage, and Italian seasoning. Cook until sausage is browned and cooked through.

  2. Add broth, potatoes, and beans to the pot. Turn up the heat to bring the soup to a boil, then reduce to a simmer.

  3. Add the kale to the simmering soup, and let it simmer until the potatoes are soft, about 15 minutes, stirring occasionally.

  4. Turn off the heat and stir in the cream. Season with salt and pepper to taste. ✨

Other good shit: the perfect chicken recipe and more recipes starring beans and greens.

🍑

The beginner's guide to Bravo

Terri is back, y’all! She sent all of the below info to me in a Google Doc several months ago, and has now generously agreed to share it here. My girlfriend and I took Terri’s advice and started with Real Housewives of Potomac, which is great; the women are very funny and their lives are fairly interesting (especially compared to, say, the women on Beverly Hills), and the show is well-produced and well-edited. Now that we’re caught up on RHOP, we’ve moved onto RHONY, and I find myself saying, “What…is…Ramona Singer’s…DEAL???” at least once a day. I’m loving it! Anyway, with everything going on in the world right now, I gotta say… watching Bravo (and discussing the shows at length with my gf/talking about all of this with our friends) has been helping. —Rachel

Gif of Tamra Judge screaming “That’s my opinion!”

There are some cultural institutions so deeply embedded into my brain and psyche that I reference or quote them daily, often without realizing — Seinfeld, Airplane!, Drop Dead Gorgeous, and, of course, the Bravo television universe. I started watching The Real Housewives of Orange County back in 2007, and have missed very few episodes of any franchise since. Sometimes, it feels like Bravo is the only TV I watch, so much so that I (unsuccessfully) tried to argue to a Spectrum cable representative that I should only have to pay for one channel as part of my cable package. Alas.

I know there’s a lot of good TV out there, but even before 2020, all I really wanted to watch was people quibbling over a stolen dress from a talk show or whether it’s OK to get a boob job from a “vagina doctor.” My deep, abiding love for the Real Housewives and their kin is such that when I started at BuzzFeed back in 2015 and was worried I wouldn’t make any coworker friends, someone told me, “Just find someone who watches Bravo and you’ll be friends.” And, reader, she was right!

Since the pandemic started, many of my friends have begun watching Bravo out of a need for addictive, low-stakes TV shows that come in mass quantities. And let me tell you, it has been thrilling to make recommendations and welcome people into the world of Bethenny Frankel and Captain Lee that I have largely lived in alone, save for my mom and sisters and some select pals. So I decided to package up those recs into a Bravo beginner viewer’s guide. Like many things, my rankings and recs are subject to change, but I feel pretty confident guiding you into the Bravoverse via this list.

Top-tier shows

Below Deck S3–present

Below Deck is my favorite, and arguably the best, show on Bravo right now. It’s like Real World, in that a group of 20/30 somethings work together and hook up a bunch, but THEN there’s a Downton Abbey upstairs/downstairs vibe going on because there are super rich people that rent the yacht they’re on, and they usually have their own drama going on. The cast changes up every season, which gives it good variety, but it’s consistently good during these seasons. Keep a special eye out for Rocky, Kyle, and of course, Kate. And Captain Lee, obviously.

Below Deck Mediterranean S2–present

Below Deck Med is basically as good as regular Below Deck, even though I personally dislike Hannah, the chief stew. But! This spinoff has Captain Sandy, a queer female yacht captain! And Season 2 is just absolutely non-stop with the drama. There was one episode I will truly never forget watching in real-time, that’s how entertaining it was.

Top Chef

A truly great reality competition show! There are a lot of seasons, so if you want specific recs, my personal favorites are S2, S6, and S17 (the most recent one, which was amazing but also an all-stars one, so you might not know a lot of the people if you’ve never watched before). I especially enjoy going to the restaurants of contestants, they’ve all been notably delicious.

Summer House

Terrible New Yorkers who rent a Hamptons house together. IDK why I’ve been captivated from the beginning, but it truly gets better every episode for me. No need to make it a priority, but I wanted to throw it in here. I think all seasons have been p entertaining, but it got especially good in S3, after a bunch of people got fired.

Southern Charm S1–S5

These first seasons are high-key art, and include, but aren’t limited to: people with exorbitant amounts of old money, a “hilbilly femme fatale,” a surprise lovechild, a no-nonsense older broad who wears caftans and has a butler… the list goes on. TW: sexual assault (off-camera, but Thomas Ravenel, a main character who has since left the show and been completely denounced, is awful), gaslighting, and a lot of plantations/glorification of the South. I don’t plan to watch the new season because 1) these people are racists, and 2) the most recent season was boring/trash. But if you can put aside how awful 95% of the cast is, watch it, it’s really entertaining.

Vanderpump Rules S1–6

Truly Shakespearean. It started as a Real Housewives of Beverly Hills spinoff, but it immediately found its legs as something entirely its own. Everyone on it is purely terrible (depraved from the beginning, but many on the cast have been revealed to be pretty awful and racist recently, so….). There is cheating, cheating with best friends, face-slapping, name-calling, and quite possibly some of the least self-aware people you’ll ever witness. It’s soapy and trashy, and just like… classic reality TV, if that’s what you want right now.

Shahs of Sunset

IDK y’all, it’s pretty problematic at times, especially recently, but the cast has truly been best friends for decades, which gives it a sense of history I really appreciate.


Now, you may notice—and be surprised by—the lack of Housewives in this must-watch/top-tier section. This is not an accident. Though they’re viewed as signature Bravo properties, they are a massive time commitment, more niche, and IMO, much more inconsistent. The shows listed here have a much lower barrier of entry and feel much more fresh, at least to me. There are Housewives seasons listed below though, if you’re interested!!

If you want Real Housewives

(Ed. note: you do!!!!)

Real Housewives of New York S3–present

There is not a bad season (or episode) in the bunch, but the action really starts in Season 3. There are fights, sure, but these women are friends and have some fun and ridiculous moments together, and some have been on for the full 12 years, so there’s some delightful character development (or deterioration) and continuity. If you’ve ever wondered how Bethenny Frankel got to be the way she is, heard of someone refer to “Scary Island,” or wondered why someone would jog IN TRAFFIC on Fifth Avenue, buckle up. Note that S3 might be a bit of a slow burn; there was a big casting upheaval after that one (for the better), and things get much more loose and fun going forward. But I think S3 is critical viewing for comparison and to get to see Bethenny before she struck out on her own.

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills S1

It’s my humble (and correct) opinion that the first season was the only good one of this franchise. Content note: suicide (one of the main character’s husbands killed himself right after the season aired, probably due to what was revealed about him as a result of being on the show, which makes it a really tough rewatch). You could also tack on S2 and S3, but only if you really like S1. The other seasons really aren’t worth it. I promise.

Real Housewives of New Jersey S1–2

Confession: RHONJ has never been my favorite (too many family members fighting with each other), but S1 has a true villain in Danielle Staub, and the absolutely iconic table-flipping moment. If you want to hear someone yell “Engaged 19 times?! Prostitution whore!” then by all means, check this out.

Real Housewives of Atlanta (any season)

RHOA is a good grab ‘n go franchise; it has its ups and downs, but it’s overall pretty entertaining, with highly memorable one-liners (“Who’s gonna check me, boo?”), some great drama (a brawl at a sexy lingerie party!), and some singular stars. Any season with Phaedra is a wild one, and if you like these women (they’re a blast to watch), then jump in wherever and enjoy the ride.

Real Housewives of Potomac S2–present

I was initially attracted to this franchise because I grew up in the area, but it really picked up during S2. Some wild allegations are thrown around, and the cast has a really good dynamic now. In fact, since I first created this doc, I would elevate the entire franchise to the highest tier of housewives. The women really show their lives, get into detail with each other, and still manage to bring the entertainment. (There is literally a parrot named T’Challa on the most recent season, and his contributions to the episodes cannot be understated.) If you watch, feel free to skip S1 (and go back to watch it to compare once you’re finished with your binge).

Honorable mentions

Million Dollar Listing: LA and New York

I like both cities equally. In LA, you get campy Josh Flagg (and in earlier seasons, his wonderful grandma), Josh Altman (blech) and Heather’s romance, giant LA estates, some celeb cameos, and some real cutthroat competition. In New York, you get my love Ryan Serhant, kooky Fredrik Eklund, a peek into some wildly overpriced New York City apartments, and also some cutthroat competition. It’s as much about their interpersonal and personal dramas as it is about real estate, and I love it! You could start from the beginning—I actually don’t think I ever watched the first few seasons of either franchise, so it doesn’t matter—or you can jump in around S3/S4 and still enjoy it.

Family Karma

This is the newest of the bunch; there’s only been one season and it aired this spring. I loved it! It follows a bunch of 20- and 30- something Indian Americans living in Florida AND their parents, and the parents have maybe even better drama than their kids. I really really hope they’re able to film another season, I am invested in these people.

Real Housewives of Melbourne

IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND!!! But if you can, watch it. I’ve only been able to see the first 3–4 seasons and was obsessed, but then they stopped airing it in the US and I’ve been sad ever since.

Real Housewives of Dallas

They’re racist, Trump-supporting assholes, but there were some real unhinged highlights in S2 and S3, if you can stomach it.

Bonus: Canceled Shows I Love

  • Bethenny Getting Married/Ever After

  • Ladies of London

  • NYC Prep

  • Millionaire Matchmaker

  • Old seasons of Project Runway, pre-move to Lifetime (it’s been meh ever since it came back to Bravo)

  • ***my mom dearly misses Princesses: Long Island, but I never watched it. Threw it in here anyway since she’s a real Bravo fan. 📺

🍑

Unscented taper candles? Unscented taper candles!!!

Pastel taper candles in lavender and pale yellow Hay crates sitting on top of a seafoam green Cold Picnic rug

When it comes to making purchases in an attempt to stave off existential dread, candles are at the top of my list — which is actually kind of a new thing for me! It all started when my girlfriend traveled to Sweden for work in early February. In addition to discovering that Swedish McDonald’s is called “McDonken,” and offers “Donken Deals” and “Donken Meals,” she learned a lot about great lighting.

Norrmalms Elektriska in Stockholm

Norrmalms Elektriska in Stockholm

Here’s what she had to say about all of this:  

“I visited Stockholm in February and learned that because it’s fairly far north, you experience regular early-afternoon darkness. Evidently, the shortest days are around six hours, and as you go further north, it’s basically dark around the clock. My guess is that because it gets so cold and dark there, Swedes have become experts in cozy, ephemeral lighting. (See also: hygge.) Even public street lamps were beautiful — soft, glowy orbs. 


In addition to beautiful lamps — think: mushroom lamps and paper lantern orbs — unscented taper candles and candlestick holders were ubiquitous and inexpensive. The candles were widely available in really lovely colors, most notably soft pastels. While I was there, I visited Lagerhaus (basically a cooler, leveled-up Bed Bath & Beyond) and bought as many candles as I could fit in my suitcase. When I got back home, I was reluctant to burn the candles; as far as I can tell, Lagerhaus doesn’t ship to the U.S., and I knew that once my supply ran out, that would be it.


A month or two later, I was browsing the website of Shop Sounds, a Park Slope boutique, and realized they sold colorful, unscented tapers. I bought two 6” pairs, at $6 a set. When I tried to buy more later, they were sold out, so I wanted to figure out if any other retailers carried them. 


Boutiques like this will typically name the designer of each item, but these particular candles were conspicuously missing a designer. Still, the website description offered one clue: ‘Designed and made in Rockport, Maine.’ So, I did a bit of Googling and discovered Danica Design Candles — a candle company based in West Rockport, Maine.

Don’t let their website fool you; the tapers are beautiful, come in tons of colors, and ship super quickly. Not only were we able to order the candles directly from them, in even more colors, they were significantly cheaper: $3 per pair vs. $6. So we ordered a bunch, and, because they were less expensive/easily replaced, started burning them every evening just...because. A new duvet o’clock, basically.” 



The Danica candles are available in several sizes, but we buy either the 6” tapers ($15.50 for a box of 10) and 9” tapers ($18.50 per box of 10). I like the look of the longer ones better, but the smaller ones tend to be a better fit for a lot of candle holders. 

Colorful taper candles in a variety of different candle holders

Unscented taper candles were a revelation for me; I’m pretty sensitive to fragrances, so I can’t burn scented candles for very long/too near where I’m hanging out, and I avoid strong candles entirely. And because I was used to jar candles, I had always viewed them as something you do for fragrance/mood first and foremost versus something you do for decor. (While some candles, like Totem and Goober, are obviously decor, I would be less likely to burn them because I wouldn’t want to ruin the shapes.) But because unscented tapers are so elegant and the colors are so lovely, I see them more as a really beautiful decorative item and a way to create a mood. (They are also a pretty good source of light! Imagine that!) And because they don’t have a fragrance, you can light a bunch at once and let them burn for a few hours without getting a migraine. 

I’m also really loving unscented tapers as an (inexpensive) way to decorate for different seasons; this summer, we bought brighter colors (like maize, peach, and antique rose), and are now moving into fall colors (like pewter, honey, willow, bordeaux, and black). Last month, I ordered a bunch of boxes of Danica candles and shipped them to friends as part of a fall care package. (Shout out to my postal scale!) Here’s how our friends Tom and Danny styled the bordeaux tapers we sent them:


Taper inspiration

My girlfriend and I follow a bunch of Scandinavian home accounts, and taper candles show up there pretty regularly. Some inspo: 

Image: @mosebacke

Image: @mosebacke

Image: @mosebacke

Image: @mosebacke

Other good taper candles

While I mostly stick to Danica’s tapers, I’ve expanded a little bit here and there in the past few months; I bought an ombré taper set from Urban and recently got two Frau Gold ombré tapers from Casa Ziki. The other ones I’m really excited about are these spiral candles from Kiosk48th; the colors are amazing and I love the glossy finish.

Image: Kiosk48th

Image: Kiosk48th

While those particular ones are currently sold out, I’m seeing similar candles pop up at a lot of other retailers, and Etsy has a ton of not-quiiiite-the-same-but-still-nice twists too.

Taper holders

You’ll need something to put the tapers in, but taper holders are fairly plentiful in bigger retailers, at thrift and vintage stores, and on Etsy. We’ve collected a bunch over the past few months; here are some shopping recs: 

Oh and Hay makes storage bins ($6–$10 from MoMA Design Store) that are a great way to store your growing candle collection!

The thing I really like about the Danica taper candles is that they have forced me to stop being precious about beautiful but ultimately fleeting items. I’ve certainly been guilty of saving things like candles and face masks and journals for some “special” future use, to the point that I don’t actually ever let myself enjoy them. It’s been nice to buy these candles and give myself permission to actually burn them just for the hell of it. 🕯

🍑

My beach birthday in quarantine

For my 35th birthday last week, my girlfriend threw a beach party for the two of us at home. The theme was “cool 90s beach/shells/Enchantment Under the Sea” + my Animal Crossing beach, which has a pastel rainbow ombré theme.

Blended painkiller drink in a coconut

She went all out with lots of inflatables and several outfit changes (including an outfit for Chuck), all of which she managed to keep under wraps until my birthday.


The morning of, I was sequestered in the bedroom for an hour or so while she set up. At one point, she cracked the door open and handed me breakfast and a bikini T-shirt, and told me to “dress for a day at the beach.”

Bikini T-shirt on bed

When she told me I could come out a little while later, she had transformed the apartment with two giant pink shells floats, palm trees, flamingos, beach balls, and rainbow ombré streamers. . There was a beach scene on the TV, “Girl from Ipanema” was playing, and there were bubbles wafting out from a bubble machine (!!!) in the kitchen.

pink shell pool float.JPG
shell cups.JPG
A blended painkiller.

A blended painkiller.

bikini t-shirt.jpg
Julia Turshen’s “Happy Wife, Happy Life” cake + “tan lines” Fancy Sprinkles.

Julia Turshen’s “Happy Wife, Happy Life” cake + “tan lines” Fancy Sprinkles.

I think my favorite detail was the airbrushed T-shirts my gf ordered from Etsy for us to wear in the evening “on the boardwalk.” The T-shirts had a beach scene + both of our names (essentially this one, but heart-shaped). We wore them for a Google Hangout with some friends (where everyone came dressed to theme, another very good surprise).

Overall, it was a lovely and fun day/weekend, despite everything going on in the world right now.

Chuck the dog dressed like a lobster

🍑

If you can’t handle me at my Crocs, you don’t deserve me at my literally any other shoe

crocs.jpg

I am a proud member of Team Take Off Your Shoes at the Door, which means I’m extremely pro house shoes. And the time has come for me to admit that my current house shoes of choice are the highly controversial Crocs. 

I was introduced to Crocs at the age of 19 by my friend Beth. I was visiting her in Chicago and she was wearing a kelly green pair around the city. Her explanation: “Flip-flops are disgusting, especially in a city, but Crocs are great.” This is actually 100% true and correct, but it didn’t take long for me to fall out of love with the hot pink pair I bought. After that, I didn’t really think much about Crocs again.  

But then last fall, I came across some pale blue faux shearling–lined Crocs on Zappos and….……..did not hate them. They looked really cozy and weren’t very expensive, so I decided to go for it. After wearing them indoors for just a few weeks, I knew I had made the right decision, so I asked for a second pair (to wear outside) for Christmas, which my mom ended up giving me.

Feeling quite secure in my Crocs-related life choices, I also recently got two non-lined pairs: the chambray blue classics (I fully intended to buy the mint green and then just like….didn’t??? IDK?) which are for outside, and a pair of pink “freesail” Crocs that are way lower profile/lighter weight for inside.

I did not mean to make a pair of Crocs that looked like my blog; it just sort of happened.

I did not mean to make a pair of Crocs that looked like my blog; it just sort of happened.

Are Crocs ugly? I mean…I don’t think of Crocs as ugly as much as I think of them as being for children. I can’t say that I think Crocs are particularly defensible from an aesthetic POV. Though a lot of cool people and celebrities wear Crocs, and the brand manages to make them look pretty cute on Instagram, I’m not going to sit here and pretend that it looks hip or stylish when I wear them. I don’t think they look awful on me — choosing the right color goes a long way in this regard — but they also don’t look good either, you know? The vibe, on me anyway, is, I think, fairly neutral — i.e., a vaguely shoe-shaped swath of color, similar to what a cartoon or video game character might wear. 

But also….IDGAF if they are cute or cool!!! You know what’s not cute? Getting a sore back from a couple hours of meal prep because you’re in your thirties now!!! My friend Augusta (who recently bought a very cute lavender pair of Crocs) wrote an ode to wearing comfortable shoes that I think about a lot, and that is very relevant here. 

If it’s not already obvious, Crocs are kind of the ideal pandemic footwear. They are great for long periods of cooking, doing lots of water chores, etc. They can be cleaned and disinfected easily. They can be worn with or without socks and look correct with soft clothes. They slip on and off easily, which is great when you’ve just come inside after taking your dog out and need to wash your hands before you do anything else. They are also very clearly made for carers; when I think of Crocs, I think of healthcare workers and chefs, two tasks that are fundamentally about nurturing. So wearing Crocs right now feels appropriate and correct.

pink freesail crocs.JPG

By the way, when I told my mom I was writing this blog post, she told me I had to interview her for it. This is fair; my mother is basically a sneakerhead…but for Crocs. She was into Crocs before Post Malone or Madewell were. She has 20 pairs and counting (!!), and and her collection includes some limited editions. 

“The reason I only like to wear Crocs is because every other shoe I have tried is not as comfortable,” she told me. “I have advanced osteoarthritis in both knees and these are the only shoes that provide the comfort I need for being on my feet all day as an art teacher. The kids at school love them.” 

Some of my mom’s favorite pairs, in her own words: turquoise with SpongeBob jibbetz (the little decorative charms); donut print; black with PacMan jibbetz; pink floral; green with working Christmas light trim; tie-dye; and Star Wars. She also has “dress” Crocs that have leather uppers.

My mom also sent me a screenshot of a message from a parent, who said her daughter (so, my mom’s student) wanted “Crocs with paint splotches on them” for her birthday because she said “her favorite teacher (you) would love them.” The parent went on: “She specifically requested these because she loves that you wear Crocs all the time and she couldn’t wait to show you!” 

In other family clog news, my girlfriend bought a pair of white Dansko clogs a couple of months ago that look great on her. Danskos are a whole other ugly cool shoe story, but I like my gfs so much (way more than I expected to). I might get a pair eventually, but I do think Danskos make more sense as real world shoes vs. house shoes. 

white danskos.jpg

A few odds and ends:

Duvet o'clock

duvet o clock.JPG

For the past month or so, my girlfriend and I have been throwing an old quilt over the duvet to turn the “office” back into an apartment when we’re done working. The quilt is not particularly stylish, but it’s really cozy, with a distinct pink and yellow pattern that looks extra warm in the lamplight. I have a phone alarm set to go off every weekday at 6 p.m. so we don’t put off duvet o’clock (or work too late). After we put on the duvet and reset all the pillows, we change from day soft clothes into evening soft clothes. Then we move her computer monitor from the desk to a TV tray we set up at the end corner of the bed so we can watch anything we’re streaming on a bigger screen.

Between the quilt and the “television,” the apartment feels really different in our off hours — it has a “my mom made my bedroom extra cozy for me while I’m home sick” meets a “we’re rearranging the living room for a sleepover” vibe.

🍑

How to start and keep a journal during a pandemic (or any time of major upheaval)

journal.JPG

Since the coronavirus started spreading through the U.S., I’ve seen a lot of people telling others that now is a good time to start and keep a journal. Which… sure, yes, if you want to!

When I was working on Dot Journaling, I read a ton of academic writing about diaries throughout history, and one of the things I learned is that people are drawn to keeping diaries during times of major change. (Also, fun [???] fact: when I went to Bookshop to search for Dot Journaling earlier today, I noticed a section called “Perspective on Pandemics” on the home page, and the first book listed was the diary of my arch nemesis, Samuel Pepys.) Journaling is also a good coping mechanism and way to process feelings. And when things are changing super quickly, formerly solid concepts like “days of the week” seem utterly preposterous, and your brain feels overloaded and foggy, it’s safe to say that you’re probably not going to remember things as well as you might want to.  

That said, it’s hard to do much of anything right now, and journaling shouldn’t be another chore or source of stress during a highly stressful, chore-filled time. So with that in mind, I thought I’d share some low-key ideas for keeping a journal during a pandemic (or any bad time), if you’re so inclined.

Use whatever journal you have and will actually use.

Now is not the time to search for the perfect notebook; it’s the time to make do with what you have and will actually use—a notebook you bought but never used, a legal pad, a spiral notebook, Google Docs, an app, whatever. Make things as easy on yourself as possible right now. 

Simply save all of your to-do lists. 

A to-do list is usually a very good snapshot of what matters to you at a given time, and that’s definitely been true for me during our current situation. If you keep a separate work notebook and home notebook, it might not be a bad idea to combine them and just keep one (as so many of our work lives and home lives collapse into each other). And if you keep a single undated running task list, you might want to think about making new lists each day or week so you can add a date for context. 

Also think about adding things like Zoom calls with friends or nice things you’re planning to do at home to your to-do list; even if these don’t feel like tasks, they are still things you did and very much paint a picture of what your life is like right now. 

If a to-do list doesn’t seem like it “counts” as a journal/diary, consider that this is actually very much what diaries looked like until the late nineteenth century. It was only fairly recently that the more “I” centric, “here are all my thoughts and feelings” diaries became the predominant way we conceptualize diaries. Historical diaries actually looked a lot like dot journals, format-wise. (Also consider the fact that “diary” is the word Brits use for what most of us in the U.S. would call an agenda or planner.) 

Save all of your receipts in one place or write down your purchases. 

Your to-do lists cover how you’re spending your time; it’s also a good idea to note how you’re spending your money. You could either add purchases as they happen to your to-do list each day, or keep a running list for the month on a separate page. 

Keep a recipe diary.

I got this idea from my friend Emily, an NYT Cooking editor; she said she got it from Jenny Rosenstrach, who has been keeping a recipe journal for 20+ years. By the way, it’s not too late to do this — Emily’s starts on 3/12, but she told me she put it together a few days ago “based on photos in my camera roll basically.” (BTW, here’s how to search your camera roll by date.)

Just write down what a day in your life looks like right now. 

You can either do this in real time or do it later, writing out what an average day’s routine looks like right now. Make note of what time you’re getting up; what you do first, second, third, etc. each morning; and all the new chores that are a part of your daily life. You could also do this once a week or every few weeks to track how things are changing.

Remember that journaling doesn’t need to involve writing a lot of feelings in full sentences.

When I’m recapping my day in my journal, I use dashes to jot down quick notes instead of writing in full sentences. (I also keep the dash format if I want to do full sentences.) Doing it this way is way lower lift and basically removes the mental hurdle of “Ugh, I have to sit down and write.”  

If you just want to brain dump/cope, consider doing morning pages.

Here’s a guide I wrote about morning pages few years ago. 

If you want a lower-lift/less frequent option, you could email yourself or add to a Google Doc once a week. 

You could use a format similar to my weekly newsletter — what you read, cooked/ate, listened to, bought, watched, etc. And if you want to flesh out your email with more personal thoughts or notable moments from the week, you could do that too. 

Just put together one big March recap.

If you’re feeling like it’s too late to start keeping a journal, you could do one big entry for all of March. I actually did this the other night, using my Google calendar, planner/to-do lists, texts, and camera roll. I was able to date all the events that felt significant (for example, February 27 is the day my girlfriend listened to an episode of “The Daily” that really scared her and so we started sanitizing our hands a ton when we were out in public) and a put together a pretty accurate record of how we (and our friends, and our workplaces) were thinking about the coronavirus and changing our behavior day-to-day throughout March.   

Be a teeny tiny bit less vague than you might naturally be. 

As someone who has kept diaries for 20 years, I can tell you that you won’t remember important context as well as you might think you will in a couple decades, even for things that feel super significant as they are happening. This isn’t a huge thing to worry about, but if you’re journaling with Future You or Future Historians in mind, I recommend it. You don’t necessarily have to write “Today I read an article in the New York Times, a newspaper, which I accessed through the app (application) on my iPhone”... but you might want to do small things — like, say, add, “(neighbor)” or “(restaurant)” next to a person’s or business’s name.

Or don’t, if doing this is too much work and would stress you out!!! 

Remember that a journal or diary can look like anything.

Photos, texts, receipts, calendar invites, memes, tweets, articles, playlists, emails…these are all excellent records of what is happening in your life right now. You don’t have to start tagging stuff or make a huge effort to collect everything in a single place right now, but it’s not a bad idea to be a little more mindful of retention right now. Things that are dated and searchable, like your personal email or calendar, will be there in a few years, but think about what won’t be super easy to pull up later (like work emails or texts) and find a low-key way to save/find them. 

Know that nothing is too mundane or small to be recorded.

It’s easy to operate from the mindset that journaling is a Serious Endeavor, especially during a pandemic. I think that belief is mostly rooted in the parts of history — and the lives — that we’ve been taught to believe matter. 

But the things we do every day — the people we talk to, the things we eat and buy, the clothes we wear, the art and entertainment we consume, the traditions and rituals and routines and trends we create and take part in — aren’t background noise. They are, in large part, what life in a given culture at a specific time is. And no one can know, in the moment, what is going to be “interesting” in 10 or 20 or 30 years, or even what we’ll personally wish, a week from now, that we had recorded when we had the chance.

So if you think that the way you’re spending your days right now — FaceTiming, creating or acquiring masks, getting creative with beans, watching TikToks — doesn’t “count” or matter enough to be remembered, I would encourage you to let go of some of the biases that might be influencing your thinking. “Normal” people’s experiences are extremely relevant to our understanding of history. But also, you don’t have to keep a diary for big picture reasons. You can just…do it for yourself, because you feel like it.

I’ll leave you with something Charlotte Forten GrimkĂŠ, a black teacher and anti-slavery activist, wrote in her diary in May of 1854: 

“A wish to record the passing events of my life, which, even if quite unimportant to others, naturally possess a great interest to myself, and of which it will be pleasant to have some remembrance, has induced me to commence this journal. I feel that keeping a diary will be pleasant and profitable employment of my leisure hours, and will afford me much pleasure in after years, by recalling to my mind the memories of other days, thoughts of much-loved friends from whom I may be separated, with whom I now pass many happy hours, in taking delightful walks, and holding ‘sweet converse’; the interesting books that I read; and the different people, places and things that I am permitted to see.” âœ¨

🍑

These Instagram Live dance workouts are really helping me keep it together right now

I’ve been feeling periodically despondent over the past week, and am making an effort to cultivate joy as much as possible. I’ve also been vaguely aware of the fact that a workout would probably be a good idea right about now. My girlfriend recently came across Instagram Live dance classes/parties hosted by choreographer Ryan Heffington; they turned out the exact quarantine activity I was looking for.

Heffington is the owner of the LA fitness studio The Sweat Spot, which is closed for the foreseeable future. (At the end of each session, he puts out a call for Venmo and PayPal donations for Sweat Spot instructors who are now out of jobs.) The classes are super exuberant and fun — basically just moving your body to a great playlist (think: Robyn, Carly Rae Jepsen, ABBA) for 40 minutes.

I’m not a fan of complicated dance workouts or super intense workouts, so I was relieved by how doable these classes are, both in terms of the steps and the pace. The warmup involves some downward dogs and planks that I thought were harder than the actual workout, but the main part of the class is very easy/fairly unstructured/really low pressure. The hardest choreography you’ll encounter is a grapevine, and everything is so loose and chill that it’s hard to feel stressed if you’re not doing it quite right. The whole vibe is very “do what you can with what you’ve got.”

The classes only exist on IG Live right now, so you have to tune it at the scheduled time to dance along. (The next one will be Tuesday at 10 a.m. PT.) It works best to follow along on your phone, but if you want to do it on your computer, this Chrome plugin is helpful.

If you’re in need of a free/at-home/easy-access way to move your body and feel a tiny bit better, I think it’s worth following Ryan’s account/getting in on the next class. The workout itself is really uplifting, and there’s something extra special about knowing that 2,000+ people are dancing along with you. ⚡️

🍑

Just a bunch of gentle ways to entertain yourself without leaving your home

Image: Jonathan Howard Kemp via Unsplash

Image: Jonathan Howard Kemp via Unsplash

Hi, friends. Things feel pretty scary right now, and once you’ve had your fill of the day’s (or hour’s) news, you might find yourself with a lot of time on your hands and no idea how to fill it… and that boredom and anxiety can make going out very tempting. (BTW, if you’re not self-isolating yet but really could be, read Your Social Life Is Going on Hiatus and all the links within.)

With that in mind, I put together a list of things to occupy your mind and time for the next little while. (And I’ll update it if/when I think of other ideas!) I hope something on here will be just the thing you were looking for.

To read

The best things I’ve written and edited over the years

The best things I read and wrote in 2019

Old BuzzFeed posts from my team: Terri Pous, Tom Vellner, Anna Borges, and Gyan Yankovich. (And me!)

My Goodreads profile (note: I was adding pretty haphazardly prior to 2019)

Reading list: Pride edition

Just good summer reading

My favorite Ask a Manager posts

PSA: You can check out e-books from your local library through the Libby app.

This also seems like a great time to pick up Elin Hildebrand novels!

To listen to

Here are my all-time favorite podcast episodes

More playlists to have on for background noise, including a new one for March + bonus fun bops

To watch

Jane the Virgin

Cheer

Black Mirror (Just “San Junipero” and “Nosedive” for now)

Our Planet (because Netflix pulled Planet Earth recently)

Ken Burns’ Prohibition

Steven Universe: The Movie

Homecoming: A Film by BeyoncĂŠ

Pen15

Nailed It

Jeopardy!

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse

I Love Lucy

Are You the One? Season 8 (It’ll repair some of the rot caused by Love Is Blind)

RuPaul’s Drag Race

Feel Good on Netflix

To do*

*As long as you already possess the necessary supplies/ingredients

Make delicious use of all your beans and pasta. (Related: Chickpea pasta, lemon butter pasta, and simple recipes to make when your life is in shambles.)

Make friendship bracelets. Also consider this list of creative hobbies to try when everything is awful and you're not okay.

Pour your anxious energy into a tiny home project that will leave you feeling accomplished.

Use YouTube tutorials to teach yourself music video choreography.

Try Yoga with Adriene or a Ryan Heffington IG Live dance class.

Do a puzzle.

Get on the Marco Polo app — it’s a fun/easy way to keep in touch.

Read How to Solve The New York Times Crossword, download the app, and try your first Monday puzzle. (Tip: Doing all the old Monday and Tuesday puzzles in the archives is a great way to get better very quickly.)

Make friendship bracelets. Also consider this list of creative hobbies to try when everything is awful and you're not okay.

Journal daily.

Create DIY/art projects/collages with whatever supplies you have! I’m probably going to dust off my Cricut at some point this weekend and make weird/silly shit with it, and/or make a zine.

Be a good neighbor.

And remember to call/FaceTime friends and family to stay connected, especially if you (or they!) live alone — it really does help! 💛

🍑