Tiny party tip: state your shoe intentions in advance
Image: Birdies
As winter party season approaches, I feel compelled to share a bit of advice that I consider crucial to being a good host/good friend. It’s quite simple: if you are a shoes-off household, tell your party guests that at some point in advance of said party.
Why is this so important? Well, because snowy/sleety boots are, understandably, the sort of thing many people don’t want inside their homes. Which is fine! I have no problem with this approach! But showing up to a party and being asked to remove your shoes when you weren’t planning to ranges from mildly annoying to a real inconvenience. Like, maybe you wore very bad socks that night, or you aren’t even wearing socks. Maybe you built your entire outfit around your cute shoes, which are now sitting in your friend’s hallway. None of these scenarios are life-threatening, of course, but all can make a guest feel slightly off their game in a way that is at odds with good hospitality. And it’s all avoidable because you can just tell people up front what the situation is!
You can mention this in the Flyer. You can throw it in with the dress code/what to wear. You can work it in during the flurry of “See you tonight!” “What should I bring?” “BTW our doorbell doesn’t really work!” texts in the days before the party. Truly, the medium doesn’t matter; all that matters is that the message gets conveyed some place that is not your front door.
If you’re a shoes-on household, I think it’s more acceptable to say nothing, because most folks assume that a party is going to be shoes-on. But I also think it’s probably a good idea to make a habit of it regardless!
Some of my friends and I have started texting each other, “Is this a shoes-off or a shoes-on situation?” before gatherings, which works perfectly well, and is always an option if your host hasn’t taken this advice.
In general, I don’t consider myself dogmatic about most things I write about. Like, use these tips or don’t! I don’t know your life!!! But this is one thing I actually feel very strongly about. Like, just tell your guests what to expect, especially if that thing is “I expect you to be in socks all night”! Do what you can to help them feel more comfortable and relaxed! It is literally not difficult or awkward to say this, and I promise you that no one is going to be like, Wow, what a fuckin WEIRDO, doing me this REAL-ASS COURTESY like a BITCH if you make a point to tell them this info up front. 👠