'Nocs walk 02

Our neighborhood ‘nocs walks are continuing apace! Here are some of the birds we’ve spotted in the past month…

Male mallard

Male mallard

Female mallard

Brants

Starling

House sparrow

White-throated sparrow

White-throated sparrow

Camera/lens: Nikon D3000 + Nikon AF-P DX NIKKOR 70-300mm f/4.5-6.3G ED lens

Nocs: Pentax UP 10x21 pink binoculars (hers) and Carson VP series full sized or compact waterproof high definition binoculars (mine)

Location: WNYC Transmitter Park 🐤

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'Nocs walk 01

My girlfriend and I made a goal for this month to go on at least one excursion with our binoculars — a ‘nocs walk! — every week. We actually did three this week, but today’s was the first one where I had the pre-owned telephoto lens I bought last week. Here are some of the birds we saw:

Red-tailed hawk

American robin

Female house sparrow

Male house sparrow

Male house sparrow

White-throated sparrow

House sparrow

Rock pigeon

Camera/lens: Nikon D3000 + Nikon AF-P DX NIKKOR 70-300mm f/4.5-6.3G ED lens

Nocs: Pentax UP 10x21 pink binoculars (hers) and Carson VP series full sized or compact waterproof high definition binoculars (mine)

Location: McCarren Park 🐦

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Just a bunch of good Thanksgiving shit

U.S. Thanksgiving is right around the corner (as are a bunch of other cooking + family holidays), so I thought it would be a good time to share a bunch of resources and tips that might be helpful as you think about how you’ll spend your holiday!

Education

• How to Support Indigenous People on Thanksgiving

• Decolonizing Thanksgiving Toolkit Part II: Indigenous Peoples Today

• All My Relations is a podcast hosted by Matika Wilbur and Adrienne Keene. (Dr. Keene’s blog has taught me so much over the years; I really recommend it!) “ThanksTaking or ThanksGiving?” is a good episode to start with.

• You can also look into local-to-you organizations that need support; for example, I’m making a monthly donation to NYC’s American Indian Community House. You might also want to contribute to a voluntary land tax if that’s an option in your area, or go the broader route and give time/money Indigenous Environmental Network.

Making cooking more pleasant and less stressful

Generally speaking

• 9 things that have made me a calmer, better cook

• In Nancy Meyers’ Kitchen, my favorite cooking playlist

Recipes

This is the Thanksgiving menu I’m working with this year, all of which I made last yer and loved.

• Beef tenderloin with homemade horseradish sauce from Joy of Cooking

• House mashed potatoes (How Sweet Eats)

• Maple-roasted Brussels sprouts with toasted hazelnuts (NYT Cooking)

• Cranberry sauce (NYT Cooking)

• Apple cider spritz, pomegranate Aperol spritz, or winter Aperol spritz (How Sweet Eats)

• Spiced pumpkin pie (NYT Cooking) with stand mixer pie crust (King Arthur Flour)

Also, it is my sincerely-held belief that the most important thing you will eat on any big holiday is actually breakfast. I feel like people often overlook it because they want to get started cooking (or they don’t know what to have because they’re in someone else’s home) and think it’ll be fine because they are going to eat a big meal later…and then they are starving and extremely cranky by noon. So plan ahead! When hosting, I’m a huge fan of a make-ahead breakfast casserole. And if you’re not the one hosting…maybe offer to make a make-ahead breakfast casserole?

Food-related bonus reads

• Why Diet Coke Is the Perfect Thanksgiving Beverage (because you always need an EANAB!)

• The Cranberry Caucus Is Insanely Powerful

• Meet The Woman Who Has Been Saving Thanksgiving For The Past 33 Years.

Having people over

Generally speaking

• 8 Easy, Genius Hosting Tips that Expert Entertainer Dorinda Medley Swears By

• A Few Small Tips for Throwing a Great Party This Summer

• Just a Bunch of Easy Ways to Make Vaxxed Hangouts Safer in the Delta Era

Family stuff

• A Beginner's Guide to Hosting Family for the Holidays Without Melting Down

• How to Go Home for the Holidays When Your Family Is a Bit Much

Decorations

• Danica taper candles (review here) in rust, wine, black, honey, and/or taupe are gorgeous for fall.

• If you live in the NYC area and need dishes and/or servingware, I highly recommend going to Fishs Eddy and browsing their incredible selection of dinerware. We recently replaced our mismatched dishes with green Homer Laughlin china from Fishs Eddy and I’m so thrilled about it.

• Last Thanksgiving, I bought a Blue Rose Pottery pie plate ($48.50) to make my first-ever pie and ended up loving it way more than I expected to. The specific one I bought is currently out of stock, but there are tons of other cute options.

Pre-dinner readings

• The Haudenosaunee Thanksgiving Address

• “Perhaps the World Ends Here”

• “The Orange”

• Pretty much anything by Mary Oliver

Entertainment and games

• First, definitely read 22 Ways to Make Thanksgiving Into Your Own Weird, Perfect Holiday, which my friend Amy Rose wrote.

• If you’ll be celebrating on your own, check out How to Have a Very Nice Solo Holiday, which I edited last year.

• If you’re a “TV on all day” kind of family, my girlfriend and I have a tradition where we watch every Thanksgiving episode of Friends on Thanksgiving morning/day. I’m not really a Friends fan (like, I’ve seen it and don’t dislike it, I’ve just never actively watched it) but I find I really enjoy it in this context! You could also do this with any show that has a lot of seasons and always did strong Thanksgiving episodes (Gossip Girl comes to mind, and I bet The Nanny would work here too) as a nice alternative to football or whatever the hell NBC shows during the day after the parade ends.

• ICYMI, check out Terri’s list of great shows to watch when you’re hanging out with your family.

• Working on a crossword puzzle is a low-stakes activity that can be done with a another person or in a small group and is a nice way to engage with relatives/in-laws without having to make small talk about, IDK, “those Spartans” or when exactly you’re going to have kids. You could probably grab a giant book of crossword puzzles from the supermarket or just order The New York Times Greatest Hits of Monday Crossword Puzzles: 100 Easy Puzzles, The New York Times Crosswords for a Long Weekend: 200 Easy to Hard Crossword Puzzles, or any other NYT joint.

• A few board games to have in your closet: Clue (the retro version for $19.99 or the updated one for $10.99), Mexican train dominoes ($19.29), Dixit ($31.99), and Codenames ($11.49).

• A few card games worth tossing in your weekender (or bringing as a host gift): Cover Your Assets ($16.99), Sushi Go ($7.39), Strawberry Sunset ($12.95), The Bears and the Bees ($14.99), and Anomia ($15.50) (review here).

• If you have a Nintendo Switch, pick up some extra joy-cons in advance (or borrow from a friend), get any cables you need to connect it to the TV, and download Super Smash Bros., Overcooked, or a Jackbox Party Pack (which doesn’t require extra controllers BTW). 🦃

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The best shows to watch with parents, in-laws, and other family members

Hello, friends! Today, for your reading pleasure, Terri, an expert in parent-friendly entertainment (among other topics), is treating us to some fresh recs! —Rachel

Photo by Marques Kaspbrak on Unsplash

Between March 2020 and March 2021, I spent eight months living with my parents. That is eight out of 12 months. Two-thirds of a year. Nearly every weeknight, and on some weekend nights too, we’d plop down on the couch, someone would turn on the TV, and then that same someone would say, “So, what should we put on?” Even though that someone was often my dad, it wasn’t always — because he got to the point where he’d sooner sit in a silent room than have to piece together the jigsaw puzzle titled, “Something Inoffensive, Entertaining, Digestible, and Broadly Appealing.”

As I’m sure you’ve experienced with family members, it is extremely difficult to find something to watch that fits into those categories. And among me and my parents, the Venn diagram of our TV interests intersects in a space no larger than a chia seed.

Anything we watched had to satisfy these criteria:

• Nothing political (there’s a time and a place for that, but it’s just...not every single night after dinner)

• No reality TV (my mom and I love it, my dad hates it)

• Nothing too murdery (in a fun generational twist, my parents adore Dateline, but it kept me up at night in our quiet suburban house)

• Preferably no movies (my mom and I don’t have the patience, my dad absolutely does)

• Extra points if it’s a documentary 

• Preferably something in multiple parts, to stave off the next search for a show for as long as possible

Unsurprisingly, many nights passed where I watched Too Hot to Handle on my iPad while my parents watched Mecum Auto Auctions (don’t ask) next to me on the couch. I know I could go to my room like an angsty teenager — I was in my childhood home, after all — but the time with my parents felt sacred and fleeting, even though, as I have to point out again, it lasted eight months in total. So I really, really wanted to solve that jigsaw puzzle (both literally and figuratively; I love a j-puzz).

And by god, we really did manage to find some stuff that we all not only tolerated, but actually really liked. And I’m telling you, if these worked for me and my parents, then you and yours will absolutely like them too. Consider this your next TV show playlist for the next holiday, visit home, family vacation, or, god forbid, extended global pandemic.

Stuff you maybe haven’t watched yet, but should

• Finding Your Roots with Henry Louis Gates. At the start of the pandemic, I started paying for a PBS subscription, thereby giving me streaming access to their entire library  of programs (including Ken Burns documentaries and entire live recordings of Broadway shows, both of which always get a collective “hell yeah” from Bob and Carol). It’s one of the best things I did, partially because it gave us access to this jewel of a show. Gates meets up with celebrities of all stripes (Jordan Peele! Bernie Sanders!), traces their lineage, tells them stories about their ancestors they never knew, and sometimes tells them about other celebs they’re related to. (This is the show where it was discovered that Larry David and Bernie are actually related.) It’s so charming, offers a very personal insight into history, and Gates is an engaging, delightful host. I liked it so much I’ve been watching ever since I went back to my own apartment.

• Only Connect. This is an extremely British game show in which teams of three try to make connections among seemingly disparate bits of trivia and words. When I say it’s extremely British, I mean there are countless questions about cricket, “footballers,” British counties and towns, and at least one question about some creature named Basil Brush. Even if you consider yourself a smart person, it will make you feel like an idiot, but it’s so fun, I promise. The host, Victoria Coren Mitchell, is equal parts warm, witty, and excoriating, and has a ton of fun with the supremely nerdy contestants who toil away at the questions for literally no prize other than a plaque. It airs on the BBC in the UK, but you can watch on YouTube in the U.S.

• The Food that Made America. This is a docu-series on the History Channel, because you know I had to include something from the History Channel on a list of shows I watched with my parents. This one is super fun: It traces the history of some of the most iconic food brands, like Coca-Cola, Hershey’s, and Frito-Lay, and intersperses it with some truly cringe-worthy reenactments. Somehow, every single company was founded by two brothers who eventually hated each other because one only cared about the business and the other wanted to fuck around. Anyway. It’s pretty entertaining, and you learn stuff! And crave some snacks.

• Modern Marvels. This comes on right after The Food that Made America, and if you, like my mom, have a tendency to fall asleep during a show for 10 minutes or more, you might wake up and be like, “Oh cool, same show.” But this one has Adam Richman (the Man vs. Food guy), and in the most recent season I watched, he shows you how all kinds of foods are made. He shows you chocolate chip cookies, chips, ice cream, and goes inside the factories, and it’s all very informative and mouth-watering and broadly appealing. No one will object. What more are you really asking for?

• The World Poker Tour. Listen, sometimes you need to space out and listen to Vince van Patten and Tony Dunst narrate the action as some dude name Joe tries to hide that he has pocket aces. I finally got somewhat decent at playing poker while I was home, so we watched a lot of the World Poker Tour. Even though the ads are interminable, it was pretty entertaining, and helped me beat my 8-year-old niece at the game at least twice. If you want something that’s literally always on, no matter when you want to watch it, this is perfect.

• Buying Alaska. This is somehow not on HGTV. It follows people trying to buy homes in Alaska, the more remote and the fewer the toilets, the better. It’s pretty entertaining because it includes more about the lifestyle of Alaskans than HGTV shows tend to include — but also, some people just really want to live among the moose, and I find that charming.

• The Plot Against America. This was really gripping stuff! It’s alternate history based on a book by Philip Roth about what the world would look like if Charles Lindbergh defeated FDR in the 1940 presidential election. It’s obviously fiction, but the sobering depiction of rising fascism and antisemitism felt… not that far off! I know I said we usually avoid anything remotely political, but we’re Jewish, and the story about a Jewish family really hooked us in.
  

Some stuff you’ve definitely heard of and/or watched, but shouldn’t discount:

• Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives

• Operation Varsity Blues: The College Admissions Scandal

• Curb Your Enthusiasm

• The Stanley Tucci CNN show in Italy

• The Queen’s Gambit

• The Crown

Thank you, Terri! Finally, here are a few of my personal recs for family-friendly entertainment: Defunctland (make a playlist of all the vids that sound good to you and let it rock), The Last Dance, Winning Time: Reggie Miller vs. the New York Knicks, Untold: Crime & Penalties, The Imagineering Story, and Ken Burns’ Prohibition (which it will not surprise you to hear that Terri actually recommended to me a few years ago). —RWM 📺

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Bags within bags!

Today I’m here to sing the praises of an organizational system I creatively refer to as “bags within bags,” which I’ve been using to keep several aspects of my life organized for the past few months.

I don’t normally carry a very big bag (if I carry one at all), but when I do carry a tote for whatever reason, I really hate having all my stuff just...floating around in it. I don’t want to have to root around for something, wondering the whole time if I remembered to bring it with me; I want to be able to find it quickly and easily so I can move on with my life! This became a problem over the summer, when we started going to the beach regularly. I wanted to be able to easily grab things like chapstick, car keys, hand sanitizer, etc. and not worry about anything spilling or getting lost. So I decided I’d just buy a couple of small mesh travel pouches…but the thing that made the most sense at the time turned out to be a set of 18 (!!!) zipper mesh bags of varying sizes that cost $12.99 on Amazon.

This turned out to be an incredible purchase, which I didn’t really expect. The smaller pouches did exactly what I needed them to do, and the larger sizes (which are really quite sizable) meant I could put bigger bottles of sunscreen or bug spray in their own bag as well. Great! My beach bag problem was perfectly solved! But the mesh bags really began to shine when I picked up knitting again. 

After a few weeks of working on a couple of different knitting projects at once, I realized I needed a better way to corral all my stuff and not have half-knitted sweaters perched on every flat surface. This led me to the baby Baggu bag ($10 from Baggu or Amazon) which is the perfect size for 1–2 knitting projects. (It’s smaller than your standard canvas tote, but bigger than a brown paper lunch bag.) The baby Baggu made it easier to just keep the needles, yarn, and instructions I needed close at hand, and to easily move everything from, say, the bedroom to the living room or up to the roof, or wherever I felt like knitting on a given day.

But I still had the problem of a lot of small loose items (a measuring tape, knitting markers, tiny scissors, crochet hook, etc.) floating around the bottom of the bag. So I pulled out some of the extra mesh bags I had and organized everything in the baby Baggu. The size 9 and 10 needles of varying lengths I was using for one project went into one mesh bag, while the size 4 and 6 needles I needed for another project went in their own — so I no longer had to sort through all my needles to find just the size 9 40 cm circular needles. I put my needle stoppers (which I’ve found are weirdly hard to keep track of) in a small bag of their own, and put my remaining tools in their own bag.

This new system was nothing short of life-changing. 

When my girlfriend and I drove up to Maine last week, we used more of the mesh bags (because, remember, the set came with 18 bags) for all of our toiletries/products, as well as things we wanted to have handy at all times (like phone chargers, contacts, and bandaids). I took the Fjallraven Kanken backpack I bought for the trip with me everywhere, and being able to throw the appropriate mini bags into it depending on where we were going/what we needed was so helpful. And on the couple of occasions when I wanted to take my knitting out with me, I just put the single project I was focusing on into the Fjallraven, and then added the small mesh bag with all of my tools in case of a knitting emergency. 

Being far from home/driving for 10+ hours/out all day in a national park for the first time was mildly nerve-wracking, and it was a huge relief to not be stressed about where my car keys, eye drops, and granola bars were. But even when I’m just knitting at home, it’s just been so nice to know where all my shit is.

Get the mesh bags from Amazon for $12.99 and the baby Baggu bag for $10 from Baggu or Amazon. 🎒

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Good summer hostess gifts (or, a mid-year just-because mini gift guide)

Now that people in the U.S. are getting vaccinated and starting to see friends again, whether at dinner parties or for long weekends, I thought it might be a good time to share some nice little host/ess gifts to bring along for the ride.

To me, the best host gifts have an element of whimsy or play — i.e., they are things that people wouldn’t necessarily buy for themselves (though you can/should buy these things for yourself), but will be delighted to have in their home. Below are some of my current favorite options, most of which are under $20.

Edible gifts

Pickles + a pickle fork.

I mentioned this elsewhere recently, but I’ve found that pickles make a great last-minute/unexpected addition to a buffet or snack spread, and a really good last-minute thing to bring to a party. I personally love the Claussen kosher dill pickles you can only find in the refrigerated section at grocery stores, but there’s also no shortage of fancy artisanal pickles on the market right now. In any case, this is one of the more casual items on the list, which is why the dedicated pickle fork is a nice addition. You could go with a classic silver ($9.45 for a set of two on Amazon) or one that can be strapped right on to the pickle jar ($8.99 on Amazon), which makes for an especially nice gift presentation. If you wanted to lean into the barbecue theme, you could do a pickle fork + dedicated potato chip tongs ($9.87 on Amazon) + a 12-pack of red plastic burger baskets ($10.97 on Amazon).

Triple cream brie + cheese vault.

Are you sensing a theme here? To me, food item + non-perishable food related gift is a golden combination! In this case, I was planning on just recommending the brie alone, but then I stumbled on this cheese vault ($34 from Food52), and, well, it felt like fate! Back to the brie for a second though: I first learned of it from my friend Emily Fleishaker, an excellent cook and host, who also happens to work for NYT Cooking. She served it to me once and I was immediately sold. Cheese shops should have at least one triple cream brie, as will Whole Foods, and it’s just so good and is genuinely gift-worthy. If you didn’t want to pair it with the cheese vault, some hot honey would also be nice.

Luxardo cherries.

Here’s how much I love these cherries: several years ago, I spent $99 on a 6-pound can of them, because that was the only way you could get them. Now, luckily, they’ve become a bit more mainstream, and you can get a jar that would fit on most bar carts for $24.99 on Amazon. I think the cherries stand alone quite well, but if you wanted to add a little something, search “vintage cocktail picks” on Etsy and find a set that matches your host’s interests/aesthetic.

Non-edible gifts

A little game you play with cards.

I’m very into little games you play with cards (as in, games you play with a unique deck and just that deck) right now, in part because they are easy to store and to bring along to a picnic or a house party or beach trip. Some options: The Bears and the Bees ($14.99 but currently on sale for $8.99), Sushi Go ($7.39), Strawberry Sunset ($12.95), and Anomia ($15.50) (+ review here). (Also, all of these aside from Anomia just require two players, which is nice!)

A good disposable camera.

Disposable cameras are a fun little treat that have been having a moment lately. I recently bought a bunch of LeBox 400 cameras for summer fun — apparently they take really good photos in general, but especially in very bright sunlight, which is ideal for the beach. (They also have a flash, so you can use them basically wherever.) Get one on Amazon for $15.79.

Some Dad Grass.

This is more of a gift you bring to share, imo, but you could also bring an extra pack to leave with your host at the end of the trip if they like it. It’s super mellow and not scary, which is exactly what I’m in the mood for these days. Get a pack of five joints from Dad Grass for $35. (BTW if you use this link, we’ll both get $10 off.) ☀️

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Tomatoes!

I’ve had tomatoes on my mind since a friend shared this New Yorker cartoon that has the caption, “Summer’s here. Do you want to start talking incessantly about tomatoes or corn?”

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A post shared by The New Yorker (@newyorkermag)

While I don’t truly love tomatoes like some people do, I realized there’s a handful of tomato-centric recipes that I really like, and that I figured are worth re-upping as tomato season approaches!

First, there’s this Claire Lower/Lifehacker post that is nothing short of life-changing: Marinate Your Tomatoes for Extra Flavorful BLTs. I can’t say with 100% confidence that this will make even tomato-haters like tomatoes, but I do think if you’re not, like, actively repulsed by tomatoes, this marinade might be enough to get you to a place of real enjoyment. I made a batch of these last night and even though the tomatoes I got aren’t even that good, they were still great! (I’m extra thrilled because I just bought a bottle of the much-loved Kewpie mayo, making these BLTs even more special.)

Next, up: Nora Ephron’s tomato sauce, via Kelsey Miller/A Cup of Jo. After I read this for the first time, I went on a farmers market trek to find the perfect tomatoes, and when I finally secured them and made the recipe, it did not disappoint. I’m looking forward to making this one in August…it’s not time just yet.

Moving on to cherry tomatoes…I love the roasted tomato, feta, and chickpea mix in this recipe.

Finally, if you can’t choose between tomatoes or corn, I humbly suggest NYT Cooking’s summer shrimp scampi with tomatoes and corn. We use canned corn for this, and have made it without the shrimp on several occasions, and always get great results. 🍅

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A small nice new year thing: a house journal

Here’s a little thing my girlfriend and I started at the beginning of the month: a house journal. We took an extra notebook I had and started using it for making shared lists, like movies we want to watch, recipes we’ve made, things we’re planning, etc. We’re also doing one weekly entry, on Sunday nights, where we do a quick recap list of the week’s highlights — shows we watched, purchases, any good things that happened, etc.. It’s a super low-stakes way to do pandemic journaling, and also just practical. I still have my own journal for my to-do lists, knitting projects, diary entries, etc., but I’m finding it really nice to have a singular place to document and keep track of things this year. ✍🏽

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Just a bunch of Christmas shit I’m into right now

Hi! Even though Christmas is only a few days away and a lot of your planning/shopping/decorating is likely done, I thought I’d share some of the festive recipes/playlists/DIY projects I’m into right now!

Decorations

I bought the wooden Advent spiral above from OakTree Vibrations on Etsy and it’s been such a nice addition to our home! (It looks like the shop is currently closed FYI.) Figuring out the right size candles was a Whole Thing, but I’m currently using these white candles with a little ball of clay stuck under each one to hold them in place.

I’m also very, very, very happy with my bay leaf wreath, which I’ve wanted for years.

This is my go-to method for lighting a tree; it works perfectly every time.

Here’s a Twitter thread of all my favorite Christmas aesthetics.

If you want some additional inspiration/dreaminess, look no further than this Swedish blog.

And if you want to go in an entirely different direction (read: kitsch), I cannot recommend these gold and silver “curtains” ($15.99 for a set of four from Amazon) enough! I bought them as part of the decor for my girlfriend’s birthday last week and she loved them — they totally transformed our space and made it look like a cozy/cool bar. Pair it with a mini LED party light (which we had lying around from a company swag bag, but you can get one for $16.99 on Amazon) on the red/green setting and you’ll be in business.

Finally, a tiny tip from me to you: If you have a smart plug, put your Christmas tree on it! It’s really nice to be able to turn it off from bed at night, especially if you live alone — it’s like having someone tuck you in.

Things to make

Some fun things from my IG saved items: googly eyes on gifts, a gift wrap gift bow, peppermint sparkle, a Caprese candy cane board, and baked gruyère with garlic and herb (recipe here).

Also: how to transform a Christmas garland, how to make a very cute Christmas tree train, and how to make a gift bow out of newsprint. I’m also planning to make tissue paper stars and eggnog snickerdoodles this week.

Holiday entertainment

TV: I’ve been absolutely obsessed with NYT Cooking’s Christmas cookie videos; they are all so soothing and nice! I also love 2019’s cookie medley; Susan Spungen feels like a real life version of Meryl Streep’s character in It’s Complicated. We’ve also been watching old holiday themed Barefoot Contessa episodes, which is delightful.

Movies: Jingle Jangle is great! Dolly Parton’s Christmas on the Square, however, is unwatchable. And I’m due for a Carol rewatch. On Wednesday, we’re going to inflate the air mattress in front of the couch (basically turning the living room into one large soft square) and cover everything in Christmas/winter blankets, and then we’re going to watch National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, Elf, and a couple other classics.

Books: David Sedaris’s “SantaLand Diaries” is a classic. And I’m really enjoying re-reading Elin Hildebrand’s Winter Street novels.

Holiday vibes

Here are some of my favorite Christmas playlists and albums:

• Santa Claus is a Black man by Aminatou Sow

• Noel by Caity Weaver

• Jazz & Blues Christmas

• French Christmas

• Songs For Christmas — Sufjan Stevens

• Simply Christmas — Leslie Odom Jr.

• A Charlie Brown Christmas

I definitely need to make a new mega Christmas playlist at some point soon because the one I spent several years curating has been lost in the abyss of iTunes on old computers.

I’m also still drinking a lot of hot chocolate, and VanLeeuwen’s peppermint stick ice cream is currently on my grocery list.

Not all yule logs are created equal! After trying a bunch, I’ve found that I like this fireplace best. I also love this soothing snowy scene.

Finally, here are some old pieces of mine/that I edited that you might enjoy right now:

• Why Miniature Christmas Villages Are Such A Big Thing

• 37 Holiday Self-Care Tips For Anyone Who Is Kind Of Not OK RN

• 4 Ways To Easily Remove Stubborn Price Stickers From Gifts

• How to Make a Holiday Family Photo Book

• How to Spend Christmas Alone

• How to Make Socially Distanced Holidays Actually Feel Special

• How to Make Your Pandemic Holiday Feel Like a HOLIDAY

• How to Be Gracious About a Truly Horrible Gift

• Great Gifts and How to Give Them

• AITAWICTG (Am I the Asshole When It Comes To Gifts)?

And there’s still time to send gifts/gift cards to trans young people in need via @transanta! ✨

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How are we shipping everyone’s holiday gifts this year?

One of the things I’ve been thinking about in the past month or so, and haven’t really seen discussed much anywhere, is how people are planning to give gifts to long-distance relatives who they won’t be seeing in person this year. As someone who has done holidays this way several times now, I have some thoughts! 

Ultimately, I don’t think there’s a perfect or universal solution; I think there are simply options.

Option 1: Having anything you buy online sent to you, so you can wrap it, repack it, and send it the gift recipient yourself. 

Pros: Nice if you’re giving someone multiple gifts from different retailers or creating some kind of gift basket situation; necessary if you’re shopping locally or doing DIY gifts. 

Cons: Might require you to pay shipping costs twice; is a lot more work; will likely require a trip to the post office unless you have a postal scale; is not exactly environmentally friendly; is not really possible for last-minute gifts. 

My personal verdict: Deeply not ideal, but might be necessary in some cases — and in those instances, avoiding the post office at peak times is going to be key.

Option 2: Shopping online and sending directly to the recipient (either wrapped or unwrapped).

Pros: You’ll only have to pay for shipping once, and a single direct route is going to be the most environmentally friendly.

Cons: There’s no way to see an item before the recipient does (to ensure it’s what you ordered, that nothing is broken, etc); is not an option for DIY/homemade gifts; is not the easiest if you’re ordering a bunch of small gifts for multiple people from the same retailer; it’s maybe not as fun for the recipient to open; not all retailers offer gift receipts/a ”don’t include the invoice” option (which is bonkers to me, especially right now — looking at you, ShopPay).

Verdict: I think this is a very good way to go! Shipping boxes are a form of wrapping, and you can totally put unopened gifts in their shipping under (or near) a tree. (I have done it! It’s fine! Nice, even!) I think this year, we need to let go of some things, and “perfectly wrapped gifts under the tree” are one of those things. (Related: we simply can’t be crowding into post offices in a desperate attempt to avoid having stray packing slips show up in a gift box — it’s going to happen and everyone just needs to simply politely ignore them and/or stop pretending gifts don’t cost an exact amount of money.) 

I actually sent a couple of gifts this way this week, and simply texted my friend to let her know that when she gets packages from X brand and Y brand, those are from me. Easy! 

Sending gifts directly from the retailer to someone who is local to the recipient, and having that person open the package, wrap the gift(s) on your behalf, deliver to the recipient. 

Pros: Means someone will be able to have eyes on the gift before the recipient does; solves the “I couldn’t do a gift receipt so now you know exactly what I spent” problem. 

Cons: Only really works if there’s someone else you can send it to who is willing/able to do this work for you.

Verdict: This is a great option if it’s available to you! I sent my brother’s gift this way — addressed to my mom — and I’m feeling pretty good about it. But obviously it won’t always be possible — in which case, I think Option 2 is the way to go.

Whatever you decide to do, try not to be too precious about it! When things feel super out of control, it can be really easy to put all your anxiety and fear onto something like, say, wrapping paper. But remember: in this wildly shitty year, whoever is receiving your gift will just be touched that you’re thinking about them. 📦

Related, possibly of interest: Food52’s tips for safely mailing treats so they arrive fresh and crumble-free and this funny tweet.

🍑