How to wear white clothes year-round without completely ruining them

The question I get asked most often — just after “What race are you?” by total strangers in public!!! — is “How do you wear white clothes all the time without ruining them?” It’s true that I have a well-documented affinity for white and pastels; not only do I wear white jeans or pants year-round, I also have all white bedding and towels, and have owned an ivory couch for four years. 

I’m actually not immune to spills and stains; I’ve had a few Huge Incidents over the past five years. But keeping my stuff relatively clean is important to me because I don’t want to waste money (or…waste clothing) so I put some effort into it. I think a smallish amount of practical planning and knowledge goes a long way, and that luck has done the rest. 

Anyway, for those who have asked me what my “secret” is...here you go! 

1. Maybe start by wearing inexpensive items you don’t care as much about.
   I’m not a huge fan of buying things you view as disposable or plan to replace in short order, but I also think it makes sense to test things out a bit before committing to an expensive version of them. If you’re worried about ruining white jeans, for example, you could get a pair from a thrift store or clothing swap and see how you fare using some of the tips below. Over time, you might feel confident enough to start buying nicer/more expensive stuff.  
   
   

2. Wait to get dressed until right before you leave the house.
   If you’re wearing white clothes around the house while you get ready in the morning, the likelihood that you’ll spill makeup, toothpaste, or coffee on them is high. I always take Chuck out before I get dressed for the day, and try to minimize my at-home exposure to food, dirt, coffee, etc. when I’m wearing white. 
   
   

3. Avoid wearing white on rainy days. 
   I actually don’t abide by this tip most the time, but if you’ve only got a few white items in rotation, save them for dry days! Mud/dirt/dirty water droplets are bar far the biggest offender I’ve come across — far bigger than blood or food or coffee. 
   
   

4. Be strategic with your outerwear/layers.
   If you’re going to wear a coat, wear a coat that covers your ass vs. a jacket that does not! This will come in handy when you’re, say, sitting on a park bench. 
   
   I know that Jean Wang of the blog Extra Petite once suggested tying a lightweight jacket around your waist before sitting on a park bench or outdoor cafe, a tip that I’ve never personally used, but that seems like it would work. You could also set down an inexpensive blanket/scarf or something to that effect. 
   
   

5. Put napkins on your lap when you’re eating. 
   This one is so simple but really does make a difference. And don’t just put one tiny napkin on your lap; open a few and spread them out a bit. 
   
   

6. Actually look at your clothes after you take them off/before washing them.
   I don’t bust out a magnifying glass to inspect every item I own after I wear it, but I do do a quick scan after I take something off, before I wash it, and/or before I wear it again without washing it first. In my experience, most stains or just general clothing grossness happens without my even realizing it, especially in spots that are hard to see when the clothes are on your body. (The waistband of jeans/pants and then the first few inches of the hem are the two prime spots, in my experience.)
   
   If you don’t realize the stains are there, you’re likely to skip treating them before you do laundry, and then toss the item in the dryer, thus baking the stain in for good. So making a point to handle and look over your clothes for an extra 10 seconds goes a long way. 
   
   

7. Be aware of your body in space.
   This one is harder to explain, or perhaps to train yourself to do, but I feel fairly aware of what I’m doing with my body when I’m wearing white. So that means I do things like…
   
   - Sitting close enough to a table where I’m eating, so that less of my bottom half/lap is exposed 
   - Carrying my mug of coffee at a slightly larger distance from my body than I would otherwise, so that if it does slosh over the side, it’s less likely to land on me/my clothes
   - Avoiding overfilling mugs of coffee/tea
   - Slowing down when I’m turning a corner, to give other people time to see me
   - Looking at seats/surfaces before I sit on them to make sure they are clean
   - Paying attention to what I’m eating/drinking while I’m consuming it (i.e., I try not to consume while super distracted by a book or a coffee)
   
   This stuff may seem overly fussy, but I think it’s pretty imperceptible to other people, and it probably makes the biggest difference. It’s also not like I’m constantly weighed down by thoughts about this stuff; a lot of it is just second-nature now, and even when it wasn’t, I didn’t find it stressful or tiring.  
   
   

8. Use a period tracker app. 
   Many a human who bleeds regularly (or irregularly) has asked me how I deal with my period and white clothes. The biggest thing I do is track my periods. Of course, it’s not a perfect science, but it does at least tell me generally when to expect it, which then means I can plan accordingly. In this case, plan accordingly might actually mean “wear a pad just in case” which is fine — I’d much rather do that than ruin my favorite white dress. 
   
   I also don’t mind using a pad as a backup when wearing a tampon on some days, and on more than one occasion, I’ve been glad that I did. 
   
   

9. Wear an apron.
   I’ve preferred cooking in an apron for years; to me, it’s just more comfortable and practical than not. (And aprons typically have pockets!!) I will also put an apron on when doing dishes after a meal, or when mixing drinks — activities that have a fairly high potential for splashing/staining.
   
   

10. Treat stains right away, and treat them often.
    I’m pretty dogged when it comes to getting stains out. (Related: my two favorite stain removers.) One example: Last fall, I went to a work event where we were given red “admit one” drink tickets. I left one in the back pocket of my white Levi’s, and then later put the jeans through the wash. When I pulled the jeans out of the washing machine, it looked like a tube of lipstick had been smashed in the pocket. Levi’s had stopped selling the jeans (and they were fairly expensive to begin with) so I extra committed to getting the stain out. It took a couple weeks of a cycle of treating the spot, letting the treatment sit, and washing the jeans in cold water before the stain finally let up enough to be able to wear them again. (I actually gave up when it was about 90% there, and it surprised me by coming the final 10% of the way in the subsequent weeks.) 
    
    Getting a stain out of fabric is sort of a fun challenge to me at this point, but I actually don’t think you need to be that aggressive about stains (more on that in a second). That said, I think a lot of people don’t try very hard, or at all — they toss the item in the laundry and wash it with hot water without treating it first, or they give the stain a bunch of time to set before they bother treating it, and then feel like, Welp, I just suck at laundry and wearing white. So I think it’s important to know how to treat stains and to own the tools to do so. Treat them as well as you can, as soon as you can, and give it your best shot.
    
     

11. But also…make peace with stains!
    I long ago just sort of accepted that spills and stains are a part of life, and that trying to prevent them or remove every trace of them is an exercise in futility. That’s why I eventually gave up when the Levi’s were most of the way there; the main reason I kept at it in that case was that the pants were pretty unwearable, and I want to avoid getting rid of/replacing stuff as much as possible. 
    
    That said, I don’t really take stains personally, and I think that’s important. Spilling something on yourself doesn’t make you clumsy or “not an adult,” and wearing something that has a spot on it isn’t that big of a deal. I know this because I continue to wear clothes that have tiny spots/stains that I am very aware of, and people still always ask me how I keep my white stuff so clean.
    

I’ll leave you with some advice from Cheryl Mendelson, who offered advice in Home Comforts that I’ve really taken to heart: “If a beautiful object has a tiny flaw, some people do not notice it and others notice nothing else. In dealing with stains, the most important skill you can acquire is the ability not to be bothered by small imperfections that you cannot fix. … Stains are not dirt; they are inadvertent dyeings. While dirt should continue to arouse your fighting spirit, it is perfectly all right to surrender to insignificant stains.” ✨

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An ode to my two favorite stain removers

Look, I’m not trying to make enemies in the laundry industry, but when it comes to stain treatment, I think T*de pens are very much a scam. As my coworker recently said, they offer the illusion of preparedness, and not much else. As a lover of white clothes and bedding, I swear by two other products: OxiClean stain remover spray and Spray ‘n Wash sticks.

I have only had a handful of Major Incidents with regard to white fabric. The fist time it happened, I had just gotten brand-new white flannel sheets and a cozy white cotton blanket for my bed. Washing all of these items before using them is a task in NYC, and I was thrilled to finally have them on my bed because my apartment was very cold.

The first night I slept on them, I woke up feeling great. And also like my face was…wet? I was sitting up in bed when I touched my nose, and then looked down at my hand and realized I had my first-ever bloody nose. A beat later, basically in slow motion, I watched big, fat crimson blood drops fall from my face and land on the fitted sheet, top sheet, and blanket. Every single component of the bedding was hit.

Luckily enough, I had just read Home Comforts, where I had learned that you should use an enzyme-based cleaner on organic and protein-based stains, and I had — after realizing that I didn’t own an enzyme cleaner — ordered some OxiClean spray, which was now sitting in my closet. So I stripped my bed, while feeling pretty certain that my sheets and blanket were going to be forever marred by this. I made peace with that, but I treated them with the Oxi, let them soak in cold water, and then rinsed them… and the stains completely disappeared. 

I was sold.

The second Major Incident happened at work. A visitor to the BuzzFeed office got in the down elevator with me on the 16th floor; she was carrying a lidless travel cup of coffee, and when the elevator stopped on my floor, she thought we had reached the lobby. She stepped out, realized her mistake, went to turn around to get back on the elevator, and was startled by my presence right behind her. She jolted, THROWING her coffee all over my white jeans in the process.

Looking at the fist-sized stain on my thigh, I knew what I had to do: marched to the CVS across the street from my office, bought a big bottle of Oxi spray, went to the single-stall bathroom, stripped off my Bean boots, the socks my jeans were tucked into, and jeans; treated the stain with the Oxi; and then rinsed everything out in the sink. Despite the fact that my jeans were very wet — it looked like I’d pissed myself — the stain was basically gone.

So, yes, I’m an OxiClean stan; it works great for everything, generally speaking. However, I’ve recently added the Spray ‘n Wash stick to my toolkit; I discovered it via my girlfriend, and was pleasantly surprised by how effective it is. It even got a faint coffee stain that was years old and that I’d simply given up on out of a beloved white dress. I’ve used it on other smaller stains (grease, food, even other blood drops) and it’s worked well every time.

I now go between the two, depending on the stain, and strongly recommend having both around! The Spray ‘n Wash is small and won’t leak — despite the name, it’s not a spray at all, but a waxy deodorant-esque stick ‚ so it’s a good one to keep it in your desk/bag/locker. (I’ve also used the OxiClean gel stick, and while I think it’s fine, I ultimately prefer the spray…but to each their own!)

Regardless of which you choose, you can definitely be done with T*de pens once and for all.

Get everything from Amazon: a pack of three Spray ‘n Wash sticks for $10.86, a three-pack of OxiClean spray for $16.90, and Home Comforts for $13.59.

Related: How to wear white clothes year-round without completely ruining them. 💦

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Cozy potluck ideas

This weekend, I had some friends over to my apartment for a potluck. I didn’t call this gathering a Friendsgiving because I didn’t want to give anyone the impression that I would be making a turkey (absolutely no), or imply that they should limit themselves to bringing Thanksgiving sides.

I’ve never been a big fan of Thanksgiving. This is due in large part to the fact that no one ever really bothers to make it fancy, which I don’t understand. Like, what is the point of a holiday if there isn’t cozy lights, a little sparkle, and an on-theme outfit???? (This doesn’t just apply to the end of year hols; it also includes Valentine’s Day, Halloween, and the 4th of July.) Give me a bougie Williams-Sonoma catalog party or nothing at all!!! I also just don’t like Thanksgiving food very much. It’s a lot of work/stress/money for not a lot of payoff, imo.

Anyway, the potluck went great! My mantra when thinking about this gathering was “do less.” I have a tendency to go overboard with stuff like this, and I wanted this dinner to be easy and fun without too much fuss or expense. Or, put another way, mood over food.

Food & drink

I made The Kitchn’s baked ziti, which I also made for a cozy winter party last January. It’s easy, inexpensive, delicious, and feeds a lot of people. It’s also so practical. It can be made it advance, so you still have plenty of time to do the dishes and clean your kitchen before anyone arrives.

I also made Alison Roman’s labneh dip, which was a hit. I doubled it, and I’m glad I did. I also waited until right before the party to assemble the dip/add the oil (which I’d made in the morning) — I was able to get a nicer presentation that way.

My girlfriend made the apple cider spritzes from my friend Jess’s blog. I always love Jess’s cocktail recipes, and these were no exception. Would recommend/make again!

Everyone’s potluck contributions were great. In terms of recipes, there was a broccoli rubble farro salad (love Smitten Kitchen), a cheesy Hasselback potato gratin (gorgeous and delicious), and leeks in vinaigrette (the unexpected hit of the night).

Decorations

Because I was committed to doing less, I scrapped my initial plan to go to Michaels and/or Party City; the bulk of my energy went to finding a tablecloth online. (Two tablecoths, actually — I decided to set up a folding table my girlfriend bought this summer in my dining room for food and move my actual dining room table into my living room, a setup that worked out very well. In general, I’m a fan of rearranging furniture to make a party work better in a small space.) Because the tables were kind of It, I wanted a really cool and special tablecloth and…turns out, that doesn’t really exist for Thanksgiving!

I ended up going with two gray buffalo check tablecloths ($22.99+ each on Amazon), a dozen mini white pumpkins ($24.89 on Amazon), and two bouquets of flowers from BoHaus. (Tiny bonus tip: go for a floral arrangement with eucalyptus; not only does it look great/dramatic, it smells wonderful.)

Anyway, that turned out to be all I needed! Everything else was just stuff I already owned. One of my favorite things about holidays/hosting is going through the cabinet where I keep all my fancy wares and being surprised/delighted by what’s in there. I’ve acquired a lot of different items (cloth napkins, bottle openers, cheese boards, serving ware) over time, and faithfully sticking to neutrals + metallics for years means I rarely have to worry about the specific items I need matching/working for a given occasion. You really can’t go wrong buying dishes or oven-to-table items in white. (Also, if you stick to white, you can use regular bowls and plates as serving dishes as needed and still have it look cohesive. I also think it’s easier to decorate on a small budget this way.)

If you want something a little more festive, I think tree/branch/wood motifs in white/silver and/or stripes in black/gray/cream/green are the way to go because they work for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s.

Also! It pays to hoard good finds from the Target dollar section until the moment you need them. I have no idea when exactly I purchased two packs of dessert plates with a copper foil autumn leaf pattern on them—I thiiiink maybe 2017???—but I was very grateful to Past Me when I found them! The fabric pumpkins I mixed in with the new ones fro Amazon also came from Target several years ago.

Things I would do differently next time

• Start at 5 p.m. instead of 4.

• Buy bigger cups. (This was the one downside of not going to Party City.)

• Make the ziti the night before instead of the morning of.

• Move my kitchen trash can into my dining room for convenience.

• Decorate with/incorporate twinkle lights.

• Take more photos. ✨

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Should you happen to find yourself spinning out, try cleaning your bathroom

Image: Bernard Hermant / Unsplash

Whenever I find myself pacing around my apartment and kind of spiraling, dealing with a brain-on-fire situation — when I’m overwhelmed and I know I should do something but I can’t decide what it should be so I’m doing nothing and everything all at once — I’ve gotten in the habit of just…cleaning my bathroom. Like, I don’t overthink it; I just go and do it. And 15-20 minutes later (which is about how long it takes me to clean my bathroom, despite what I might tell myself when I’m avoiding doing it), my sink is sparkling and I feel so much better.

Why is cleaning the bathroom the perfect activity in these moments? I think it’s because it tends to be a relatively quick and contained chore — unlike, say, cleaning your closet, which you’ll start with the best of intentions and then somehow spend $75 ordering hangers online before falling asleep on piles of clothes — BUT it’s just long enough to distract you and redirect your energy, to get the headspace required to make a decision, to gain a sense of accomplishment, and to basically press the reset button in a panic moment. And because it’s one area of your home that could pretty much always benefit from a little cleaning! 🛁

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