A red and white shoofly quilt for my valentine

I finished my first full-sized quilt earlier this month! I made this one as a (belated) Valentine’s Day gift for Kiyana; she asked if I’d make her a red and white quilt (a very common combination, historically!), and shoofly quilts are supposed to be fairly easy and beginner-friendly.

Pattern: Penelope Handmade (though this one is no longer available)

Fabric: Kona cotton in tomato, AGF Studio in creme de la creme, and starfall satellite tan yardage (for the backing)

To be honest, this particular quilt felt a little cursed—a bunch of things went wrong/were annoying, but in the end, it was all fine! I’m happy with how it turned out, and I learned a ton when working on it, which I’m currently applying to my second go-round with this pattern.

One of my biggest takeaways was that I should put on music if I’m struggling with a particular step. I generally don’t have music on when I’m doing stuff around the house (I kind of just…forget that it’s an option?) but I was fighting for my goddamn life when I was quilting this. (The difference between quilting something small and something large is…significant!) Then I remembered that there was music playing when I went to “social sewing” hours at my local quilt store—a fun mix of ‘50s, ‘60s, ‘70s, and ‘80s. With that in mind, I started blasting oldies (beginning with the Now & Then soundtrack…perfect, honestly) and it helped so much! My lines still came out pretty wobbly, but I felt much less stressed the entire time. I’ve since made a full playlist that I will be utilizing when I quilt my second shoofly this weekend.

Kiyana loves the quilt, which is all that matters…but no one loves it more than Valentina.

I actually ended up teaching Kiyana to sew a couple weeks ago, and she used the leftovers from this quilt to make some shoofly blocks of her own, which she then turned into a dog coat—her first project.

So now Valentina has a quilt of her own to wear (but still prefers ours, naturally). 🧵

One year of knitting

Jan 2, 2021

This month marks my one-year anniversary of learning to knit, and it’s exciting to look back and see how far I’ve come. I love having hobbies, but knitting has definitely been one of the harder ones. It has a steep learning curve, so it’s easy to get discouraged and give up early on (or…at any point, really). It was even harder to learn to knit at home without any in-person instruction, which would have, I think, changed everything. That said, with enough trial and error, willingness to start over, and good old-fashioned practice (annoying, I know!), I’ve been able to finish several projects and can now confidently call myself a competent knitter.

Here’s everything I used to learn to knit, the projects I completed this year, my favorite tools, some tips I wish I’d known sooner, and my knitting goals for 2022.

How I learned to knit

My girlfriend and I both wanted to learn to knit, and she went first, with me a week or so behind her. We both used my friend Alanna’s book, How to Knit a Hat (also on Bookshop, but currently sold out), plus YouTube videos (which is something Alanna suggests doing in the book). Because my gf started before I did, I was able to get help from her, whereas she fully taught herself without anyone else to show her.

We both finished the hat and then moved on to other projects.

Completed knitting projects 2021

Novice sweater

Knitting a whole-ass sweater felt like a huge step up after just doing a hat, and yet…it was the perfect step up! On my first attempt, I misread a step fairly early on in the pattern (it involved the increases at the yoke, and where you should start measuring the overall length) and didn’t really see a way to undo it. So I just started over! I remember being super bummed at the time, but it taught me an important lesson: that it’s often way easier to just start over, and that projects almost always look considerably better the second time around, even if it’s just redoing a cast-on or a cuff.

I don’t remember everything I worked on right after this one, but I know I attempted a Wool & the Gang sweater (the pattern is definitely not that hard, but I think I had problems because my yarn wasn’t quite the right weight and I was going off script in other ways, which was a bad idea); at least one hat; and a second novice sweater holding three strands of yarn in three different colors. None of these worked out, which was honestly fine! I’ve found I’m more of a “knitting is a journey, not a destination” knitter, and it was helpful to just practice, to get better at reading patterns (one of the hardest parts of knitting tbh), and to get practice buying yarn and needles and making sense of how they felt in my hands.

Lucky dog sweater

The next project I (technically) completed was a dog sweater from Purl Soho. It was way, way harder than I expected, or than a dog sweater has any right to be. It involved a ton of short rows using the wrap-and-turn technique, which is annoying…but it turned out to be great, in a way, because it was a small project and the instructions were well-written compared to most patterns that utilize short rows. I also really liked the Lion Brand Yarn Wool-Ease Thick and Quick yarn; this color is Coney Island, but I also bought it in Dreamcatcher, which I used on a bunch of the projects I didn’t finish around this time. It’s fairly inexpensive but feels nice in your hands, is super easy to knit with, and always a lot better than I expect it to.

I worked so hard on this sweater and all its fiddly little short rows, only to put it on Chuck and realize it didn’t fit quite right (it was too long in the neck). He made it very clear how much he hated wearing it, so I didn’t bother to fix it/redo it.

Junior novice sweater

After a longish break (vaccinated summer was…not the knitting zone), we got back into knitting again in August. I had a couple projects going around this time, but this is the first one I finished. And this one convinced me that the way to get better at knitting and actually finish projects (which helps you stay motivated) is to knit items for babies/children. This sweater, which I knit for my friend Julia’s daughter’s first birthday in October, utilizes literally the exact same techniques as the adult novice sweater, but it went so much faster. As part of the birthday gift, my gf knit the adult version for Julia so they had matching ones.

We used Berocco Ultra Alpaca Chunky yarn for both of these, a brand/weight that has become one of my favorites.

I actually knit this one from beginning to end twice! The first version, which I was thinking of as a prototype since I wasn’t going to be able to try it on the baby first, didn’t fit — the neck was too tight, and that wasn’t really something I could fix. So I just redid it and, again, didn’t regret that at all; it looked better the second time, and it was a quick enough project that I didn’t feel too precious about it, or like I’d wasted a ton of time.

This is the first project I knit swatches for; I learned that I knit very tight and need to make adjustments to patterns accordingly. It’s also the first project that I blocked, a step that I now love and swear by.

Bulky dog turtleneck sweater

This is another dog sweater that calls for a very fussy technique; in this case, it was the i-cord cast-on that took like a year off my life, and for no good reason — he’s a dog, he doesn’t need a fancy cast-on! But I’d prefer to learn on a dog sweater than a human sweater.

(BTW, this is that Lion Brand Wool Ease yarn again; this time, the color is Fairy.)

This entire sweater is supposed to be ribbed, but I decided to just do the neck ribbing and then knit the rest, and I’m glad I did. He doesn’t love the finished sweater, and ribbing the whole thing just…would not have been worth the extra time it would have taken.

Aftenstocking

At the beginning of 2021, my girlfriend and I made one resolution: To be able to knit these stockings by Christmastime. At the time, it felt impossible. Come fall, it felt….very doable, but then it turned out to be kind of a pain in the ass! I think it was because of how the pattern is written, the fact that you need very small circular needles to start, and the fact that using short rows to make a heel is just…an endeavor.

It took me so long to figure out the heel turn (I redid it at least four times, probably more?) and when I finally got it right and then finished the whole stocking, it looked…bad. Why was the toe SO STUMPY???

I still don’t know!! But through the miracle of blocking and then felting — which happened at midnight on Christmas Eve lolsob — the stocking actually ended up looking pretty good.

And with that, my first year of knitting came to an end! There was one more big sweater that I started in September that I thought I’d be able to finish by the end of the year. In the end, I got slowed down because I had to learn new techniques (like sewing on sleeves) and because of some annoying/avoidable mistakes (e.g., using the wrong size needles on the sleeves, which meant they were too small). I finally made it to the home stretch, but I’m having a terrible time picking up the stitches for the neckline, so I’ve set it aside and will go back to it later. I was sick of it and needed a break.

Tools

There are so, so many tools for knitters and it’s impossible to list all my favorites (and it’s so personal anyway), but there are a few that really made a difference this year:

Bags within bags

I swear by my Baggu baby bag + smaller individual zipper bags. Also, you won’t regret having tiny scissors and a tiny tape measure in your bag.

Plastic stitch markers

I think my girlfriend bought this case of colorful plastic stitch markers ($8.99 from Amazon) very early on in our knitting journey, and they are one of our most-used and most-loved items. I’ve tried some others in the time since, and honestly, the hot Cocoknits brass ones have nothing on these plastic ones. Truly an MVP.

A stitch counter

I finally bought myself a knitting counter this fall, and I don’t know what took me so long! (I was marking down a tally with a pencil and paper this whole time.) I really like the $9 metal one I have, and my girlfriend loves the $9 Clover one. (Hers makes the most satisfying sound every time she advances it.) I’ve also been experimenting with counting apps; sometimes you need to have two counters going at once, and an app is really helpful for that. I downloaded a bunch of different ones to try, and Count That Now is my favorite.

A knitting notebook

Another major “What took me so long?” addition to my life. More here.

A few tips I swear by

IG: @kiyanaknits

In no particular order, here are some of the things I wish I’d known/really understood as a beginner.

• You have to like the yarn you’re using! You definitely don’t need fancy yarn, especially when you’re starting out, but you should really like looking at it (because you’re going to be stuck with it for a while). If you’ve done a few rows and are asking yourself the whole time if you really like the color or are already regretting choosing it, just stop and start over with a different color.

• I have really never regretted starting something over when I realized I’ve made a mistake or something is looking loose/bad/etc. Pretty much everything looks better on a second pass. 

• If something isn’t looking good and you’re stressed about it, put it away for a while and come back to it. Most things look better with fresh eyes/once you’ve zoomed out and are looking at the entire project. And if they still look bad, well, see above tip about starting over.

• A lot of surface mistakes can be “fixed in post” — aka when you’re all done. For example, blocking solves a huge amount of problems (e.g., you’ve got some stitches that are looking a little funky), and underarm holes can easily be sewn together when you’re done.

• Knitting slower and reading the patterns slower would have solved like 75% of my knitting problems in the past year.

• My girlfriend and I store all of our knitting patterns in a shared Google Drive folder so we can easily find them/re-print them later. We both always work from a printed pattern, but sometimes it’s nice to be able to pull up the pattern on your phone when you’re in a store, or look up a specific instruction on your phone if the pattern is kind of out of reach.

• Most local knitting stores have some form of IRL classes/office hours/etc. where you can get personalized help and ask questions about your projects. (So, for example, if it had been safe to go IRL in December, I would have definitely done that for the stocking heel trouble I was having.)

• If you find a YouTube tutorial you really like, save it to a playlist! You’ll probably need to reference it again in the future, and not all YouTube tutorials are created equal.

• Take more notes than you think you’ll need to; you won’t remember things as well as you think you will, not even the things that are giving you a ton of grief.

• Yarn is a great souvenir! During the trips my girlfriend and I took this fall, we found yarn stores and picked out yarn as a special souvenir from the trip.

2022 knitting goals

IG: @kiyanaknits

Heading into the new year, here are my big knitting goals:

Learn to knit continental. I think this style of knitting will allow me to knit a lot faster and more comfortably. I’ve actually already started learning and it turned out to be…a lot easier than I expected? I think it’s also helping me adjust my tension/make up for the fact that I’m knitting too tight, which is something I really needed to correct, so I’m thrilled.

Knit with blocks of color. This is this year’s stocking goal, aka a goal my girlfriend and I both want to do. This might look like intarsia or a Fair Isle…we’ll see! For me, this is very much a Q4 goal.

Knit an object of some sort. I recently discovered the big world of knit animals, and realized there are tons of other non-clothing items one can knit (like Christmas decorations or vegetables). I think this is going to be something I really enjoy — it has the “you can complete a whole project faster” effect you get with kids’ clothes, but is more immediately useful to me personally. I actually impulse-knit a bird today, so technically I can already cross this goal off already, but I want to properly invest in it and get good enough at it to be able gift things (or at least decorate my Christmas tree).

Annnd that’s a wrap on my first year of knitting! I was going to say something here about how it’s been really good for my mental health, a nice alternative to looking my phone and a good thing to do when you’re feeling anxious… but the reality is that I regularly declare that I hate it, and my girlfriend and I reference this TikTok all the time when we’re knitting. So ya know… it has its moments. 🧶

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Just a bunch of good Thanksgiving shit

U.S. Thanksgiving is right around the corner (as are a bunch of other cooking + family holidays), so I thought it would be a good time to share a bunch of resources and tips that might be helpful as you think about how you’ll spend your holiday!

Education

• How to Support Indigenous People on Thanksgiving

• Decolonizing Thanksgiving Toolkit Part II: Indigenous Peoples Today

• All My Relations is a podcast hosted by Matika Wilbur and Adrienne Keene. (Dr. Keene’s blog has taught me so much over the years; I really recommend it!) “ThanksTaking or ThanksGiving?” is a good episode to start with.

• You can also look into local-to-you organizations that need support; for example, I’m making a monthly donation to NYC’s American Indian Community House. You might also want to contribute to a voluntary land tax if that’s an option in your area, or go the broader route and give time/money Indigenous Environmental Network.

Making cooking more pleasant and less stressful

Generally speaking

• 9 things that have made me a calmer, better cook

• In Nancy Meyers’ Kitchen, my favorite cooking playlist

Recipes

This is the Thanksgiving menu I’m working with this year, all of which I made last yer and loved.

• Beef tenderloin with homemade horseradish sauce from Joy of Cooking

• House mashed potatoes (How Sweet Eats)

• Maple-roasted Brussels sprouts with toasted hazelnuts (NYT Cooking)

• Cranberry sauce (NYT Cooking)

• Apple cider spritz, pomegranate Aperol spritz, or winter Aperol spritz (How Sweet Eats)

• Spiced pumpkin pie (NYT Cooking) with stand mixer pie crust (King Arthur Flour)

Also, it is my sincerely-held belief that the most important thing you will eat on any big holiday is actually breakfast. I feel like people often overlook it because they want to get started cooking (or they don’t know what to have because they’re in someone else’s home) and think it’ll be fine because they are going to eat a big meal later…and then they are starving and extremely cranky by noon. So plan ahead! When hosting, I’m a huge fan of a make-ahead breakfast casserole. And if you’re not the one hosting…maybe offer to make a make-ahead breakfast casserole?

Food-related bonus reads

• Why Diet Coke Is the Perfect Thanksgiving Beverage (because you always need an EANAB!)

• The Cranberry Caucus Is Insanely Powerful

• Meet The Woman Who Has Been Saving Thanksgiving For The Past 33 Years.

Having people over

Generally speaking

• 8 Easy, Genius Hosting Tips that Expert Entertainer Dorinda Medley Swears By

• A Few Small Tips for Throwing a Great Party This Summer

• Just a Bunch of Easy Ways to Make Vaxxed Hangouts Safer in the Delta Era

Family stuff

• A Beginner's Guide to Hosting Family for the Holidays Without Melting Down

• How to Go Home for the Holidays When Your Family Is a Bit Much

Decorations

• Danica taper candles (review here) in rust, wine, black, honey, and/or taupe are gorgeous for fall.

• If you live in the NYC area and need dishes and/or servingware, I highly recommend going to Fishs Eddy and browsing their incredible selection of dinerware. We recently replaced our mismatched dishes with green Homer Laughlin china from Fishs Eddy and I’m so thrilled about it.

• Last Thanksgiving, I bought a Blue Rose Pottery pie plate ($48.50) to make my first-ever pie and ended up loving it way more than I expected to. The specific one I bought is currently out of stock, but there are tons of other cute options.

Pre-dinner readings

• The Haudenosaunee Thanksgiving Address

• “Perhaps the World Ends Here”

• “The Orange”

• Pretty much anything by Mary Oliver

Entertainment and games

• First, definitely read 22 Ways to Make Thanksgiving Into Your Own Weird, Perfect Holiday, which my friend Amy Rose wrote.

• If you’ll be celebrating on your own, check out How to Have a Very Nice Solo Holiday, which I edited last year.

• If you’re a “TV on all day” kind of family, my girlfriend and I have a tradition where we watch every Thanksgiving episode of Friends on Thanksgiving morning/day. I’m not really a Friends fan (like, I’ve seen it and don’t dislike it, I’ve just never actively watched it) but I find I really enjoy it in this context! You could also do this with any show that has a lot of seasons and always did strong Thanksgiving episodes (Gossip Girl comes to mind, and I bet The Nanny would work here too) as a nice alternative to football or whatever the hell NBC shows during the day after the parade ends.

• ICYMI, check out Terri’s list of great shows to watch when you’re hanging out with your family.

• Working on a crossword puzzle is a low-stakes activity that can be done with a another person or in a small group and is a nice way to engage with relatives/in-laws without having to make small talk about, IDK, “those Spartans” or when exactly you’re going to have kids. You could probably grab a giant book of crossword puzzles from the supermarket or just order The New York Times Greatest Hits of Monday Crossword Puzzles: 100 Easy Puzzles, The New York Times Crosswords for a Long Weekend: 200 Easy to Hard Crossword Puzzles, or any other NYT joint.

• A few board games to have in your closet: Clue (the retro version for $19.99 or the updated one for $10.99), Mexican train dominoes ($19.29), Dixit ($31.99), and Codenames ($11.49).

• A few card games worth tossing in your weekender (or bringing as a host gift): Cover Your Assets ($16.99), Sushi Go ($7.39), Strawberry Sunset ($12.95), The Bears and the Bees ($14.99), and Anomia ($15.50) (review here).

• If you have a Nintendo Switch, pick up some extra joy-cons in advance (or borrow from a friend), get any cables you need to connect it to the TV, and download Super Smash Bros., Overcooked, or a Jackbox Party Pack (which doesn’t require extra controllers BTW). 🦃

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The best shows to watch with parents, in-laws, and other family members

Hello, friends! Today, for your reading pleasure, Terri, an expert in parent-friendly entertainment (among other topics), is treating us to some fresh recs! —Rachel

Photo by Marques Kaspbrak on Unsplash

Between March 2020 and March 2021, I spent eight months living with my parents. That is eight out of 12 months. Two-thirds of a year. Nearly every weeknight, and on some weekend nights too, we’d plop down on the couch, someone would turn on the TV, and then that same someone would say, “So, what should we put on?” Even though that someone was often my dad, it wasn’t always — because he got to the point where he’d sooner sit in a silent room than have to piece together the jigsaw puzzle titled, “Something Inoffensive, Entertaining, Digestible, and Broadly Appealing.”

As I’m sure you’ve experienced with family members, it is extremely difficult to find something to watch that fits into those categories. And among me and my parents, the Venn diagram of our TV interests intersects in a space no larger than a chia seed.

Anything we watched had to satisfy these criteria:

• Nothing political (there’s a time and a place for that, but it’s just...not every single night after dinner)

• No reality TV (my mom and I love it, my dad hates it)

• Nothing too murdery (in a fun generational twist, my parents adore Dateline, but it kept me up at night in our quiet suburban house)

• Preferably no movies (my mom and I don’t have the patience, my dad absolutely does)

• Extra points if it’s a documentary 

• Preferably something in multiple parts, to stave off the next search for a show for as long as possible

Unsurprisingly, many nights passed where I watched Too Hot to Handle on my iPad while my parents watched Mecum Auto Auctions (don’t ask) next to me on the couch. I know I could go to my room like an angsty teenager — I was in my childhood home, after all — but the time with my parents felt sacred and fleeting, even though, as I have to point out again, it lasted eight months in total. So I really, really wanted to solve that jigsaw puzzle (both literally and figuratively; I love a j-puzz).

And by god, we really did manage to find some stuff that we all not only tolerated, but actually really liked. And I’m telling you, if these worked for me and my parents, then you and yours will absolutely like them too. Consider this your next TV show playlist for the next holiday, visit home, family vacation, or, god forbid, extended global pandemic.

Stuff you maybe haven’t watched yet, but should

• Finding Your Roots with Henry Louis Gates. At the start of the pandemic, I started paying for a PBS subscription, thereby giving me streaming access to their entire library  of programs (including Ken Burns documentaries and entire live recordings of Broadway shows, both of which always get a collective “hell yeah” from Bob and Carol). It’s one of the best things I did, partially because it gave us access to this jewel of a show. Gates meets up with celebrities of all stripes (Jordan Peele! Bernie Sanders!), traces their lineage, tells them stories about their ancestors they never knew, and sometimes tells them about other celebs they’re related to. (This is the show where it was discovered that Larry David and Bernie are actually related.) It’s so charming, offers a very personal insight into history, and Gates is an engaging, delightful host. I liked it so much I’ve been watching ever since I went back to my own apartment.

• Only Connect. This is an extremely British game show in which teams of three try to make connections among seemingly disparate bits of trivia and words. When I say it’s extremely British, I mean there are countless questions about cricket, “footballers,” British counties and towns, and at least one question about some creature named Basil Brush. Even if you consider yourself a smart person, it will make you feel like an idiot, but it’s so fun, I promise. The host, Victoria Coren Mitchell, is equal parts warm, witty, and excoriating, and has a ton of fun with the supremely nerdy contestants who toil away at the questions for literally no prize other than a plaque. It airs on the BBC in the UK, but you can watch on YouTube in the U.S.

• The Food that Made America. This is a docu-series on the History Channel, because you know I had to include something from the History Channel on a list of shows I watched with my parents. This one is super fun: It traces the history of some of the most iconic food brands, like Coca-Cola, Hershey’s, and Frito-Lay, and intersperses it with some truly cringe-worthy reenactments. Somehow, every single company was founded by two brothers who eventually hated each other because one only cared about the business and the other wanted to fuck around. Anyway. It’s pretty entertaining, and you learn stuff! And crave some snacks.

• Modern Marvels. This comes on right after The Food that Made America, and if you, like my mom, have a tendency to fall asleep during a show for 10 minutes or more, you might wake up and be like, “Oh cool, same show.” But this one has Adam Richman (the Man vs. Food guy), and in the most recent season I watched, he shows you how all kinds of foods are made. He shows you chocolate chip cookies, chips, ice cream, and goes inside the factories, and it’s all very informative and mouth-watering and broadly appealing. No one will object. What more are you really asking for?

• The World Poker Tour. Listen, sometimes you need to space out and listen to Vince van Patten and Tony Dunst narrate the action as some dude name Joe tries to hide that he has pocket aces. I finally got somewhat decent at playing poker while I was home, so we watched a lot of the World Poker Tour. Even though the ads are interminable, it was pretty entertaining, and helped me beat my 8-year-old niece at the game at least twice. If you want something that’s literally always on, no matter when you want to watch it, this is perfect.

• Buying Alaska. This is somehow not on HGTV. It follows people trying to buy homes in Alaska, the more remote and the fewer the toilets, the better. It’s pretty entertaining because it includes more about the lifestyle of Alaskans than HGTV shows tend to include — but also, some people just really want to live among the moose, and I find that charming.

• The Plot Against America. This was really gripping stuff! It’s alternate history based on a book by Philip Roth about what the world would look like if Charles Lindbergh defeated FDR in the 1940 presidential election. It’s obviously fiction, but the sobering depiction of rising fascism and antisemitism felt… not that far off! I know I said we usually avoid anything remotely political, but we’re Jewish, and the story about a Jewish family really hooked us in.
  

Some stuff you’ve definitely heard of and/or watched, but shouldn’t discount:

• Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives

• Operation Varsity Blues: The College Admissions Scandal

• Curb Your Enthusiasm

• The Stanley Tucci CNN show in Italy

• The Queen’s Gambit

• The Crown

Thank you, Terri! Finally, here are a few of my personal recs for family-friendly entertainment: Defunctland (make a playlist of all the vids that sound good to you and let it rock), The Last Dance, Winning Time: Reggie Miller vs. the New York Knicks, Untold: Crime & Penalties, The Imagineering Story, and Ken Burns’ Prohibition (which it will not surprise you to hear that Terri actually recommended to me a few years ago). —RWM 📺

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A small nice new year thing: a house journal

Here’s a little thing my girlfriend and I started at the beginning of the month: a house journal. We took an extra notebook I had and started using it for making shared lists, like movies we want to watch, recipes we’ve made, things we’re planning, etc. We’re also doing one weekly entry, on Sunday nights, where we do a quick recap list of the week’s highlights — shows we watched, purchases, any good things that happened, etc.. It’s a super low-stakes way to do pandemic journaling, and also just practical. I still have my own journal for my to-do lists, knitting projects, diary entries, etc., but I’m finding it really nice to have a singular place to document and keep track of things this year. ✍🏽

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This tinsel is a pretty good way to spend $15

One of the unexpected winners of the at-home birthday celebration I threw for my girlfriend a couple of weeks ago was the pack of metallic tinsely curtains ($15.99 for two silver and two gold on Amazon) I bought.

Each curtain is approximately the width of a door and fairly long/tall, with a horizontal adhesive strip at the top; I put three over the window/door to the terrace, and one over the bedroom door, and they genuinely made the space feel different and celebratory.

In fact, we liked them so much that we got a second pack to use for the “office holiday party” that we had on Tuesday night.

The curtains flutter and reflect light in a really nice way, and you actually don’t need to do anything else to make them shine. But if you want to take things up a notch, you could turn on a mini LED party light. (We used the one that came in a company swag bag my girlfriend received a couple of months ago, but you can get a similar one for $16.99 on Amazon.)

Even though you can see some window showing behind the curtains in these photos, they look great and plenty thick IRL. (But if you wanted to make them appear thicker, you could easily double them up.)

We also kept them up for our “supercouch” (aka air mattress inflated in front of the couch) movie day.

I was pleasantly surprised by how much delight/novelty the curtains provided; in this bleak year, it’s always nice when a small thing actually helps quite a bit. If you’re a New Year’s Eve person and want to do something to mark the occasion while also being safe, or if someone in your household has a birthday coming up, these are totally worth it.

Get the gold and silver four-pack from Amazon for $15.99. (They also come in a bunch of other colors, like this pretty rose gold.) ✨

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Just a bunch of Christmas shit I’m into right now

Hi! Even though Christmas is only a few days away and a lot of your planning/shopping/decorating is likely done, I thought I’d share some of the festive recipes/playlists/DIY projects I’m into right now!

Decorations

I bought the wooden Advent spiral above from OakTree Vibrations on Etsy and it’s been such a nice addition to our home! (It looks like the shop is currently closed FYI.) Figuring out the right size candles was a Whole Thing, but I’m currently using these white candles with a little ball of clay stuck under each one to hold them in place.

I’m also very, very, very happy with my bay leaf wreath, which I’ve wanted for years.

This is my go-to method for lighting a tree; it works perfectly every time.

Here’s a Twitter thread of all my favorite Christmas aesthetics.

If you want some additional inspiration/dreaminess, look no further than this Swedish blog.

And if you want to go in an entirely different direction (read: kitsch), I cannot recommend these gold and silver “curtains” ($15.99 for a set of four from Amazon) enough! I bought them as part of the decor for my girlfriend’s birthday last week and she loved them — they totally transformed our space and made it look like a cozy/cool bar. Pair it with a mini LED party light (which we had lying around from a company swag bag, but you can get one for $16.99 on Amazon) on the red/green setting and you’ll be in business.

Finally, a tiny tip from me to you: If you have a smart plug, put your Christmas tree on it! It’s really nice to be able to turn it off from bed at night, especially if you live alone — it’s like having someone tuck you in.

Things to make

Some fun things from my IG saved items: googly eyes on gifts, a gift wrap gift bow, peppermint sparkle, a Caprese candy cane board, and baked gruyère with garlic and herb (recipe here).

Also: how to transform a Christmas garland, how to make a very cute Christmas tree train, and how to make a gift bow out of newsprint. I’m also planning to make tissue paper stars and eggnog snickerdoodles this week.

Holiday entertainment

TV: I’ve been absolutely obsessed with NYT Cooking’s Christmas cookie videos; they are all so soothing and nice! I also love 2019’s cookie medley; Susan Spungen feels like a real life version of Meryl Streep’s character in It’s Complicated. We’ve also been watching old holiday themed Barefoot Contessa episodes, which is delightful.

Movies: Jingle Jangle is great! Dolly Parton’s Christmas on the Square, however, is unwatchable. And I’m due for a Carol rewatch. On Wednesday, we’re going to inflate the air mattress in front of the couch (basically turning the living room into one large soft square) and cover everything in Christmas/winter blankets, and then we’re going to watch National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, Elf, and a couple other classics.

Books: David Sedaris’s “SantaLand Diaries” is a classic. And I’m really enjoying re-reading Elin Hildebrand’s Winter Street novels.

Holiday vibes

Here are some of my favorite Christmas playlists and albums:

• Santa Claus is a Black man by Aminatou Sow

• Noel by Caity Weaver

• Jazz & Blues Christmas

• French Christmas

• Songs For Christmas — Sufjan Stevens

• Simply Christmas — Leslie Odom Jr.

• A Charlie Brown Christmas

I definitely need to make a new mega Christmas playlist at some point soon because the one I spent several years curating has been lost in the abyss of iTunes on old computers.

I’m also still drinking a lot of hot chocolate, and VanLeeuwen’s peppermint stick ice cream is currently on my grocery list.

Not all yule logs are created equal! After trying a bunch, I’ve found that I like this fireplace best. I also love this soothing snowy scene.

Finally, here are some old pieces of mine/that I edited that you might enjoy right now:

• Why Miniature Christmas Villages Are Such A Big Thing

• 37 Holiday Self-Care Tips For Anyone Who Is Kind Of Not OK RN

• 4 Ways To Easily Remove Stubborn Price Stickers From Gifts

• How to Make a Holiday Family Photo Book

• How to Spend Christmas Alone

• How to Make Socially Distanced Holidays Actually Feel Special

• How to Make Your Pandemic Holiday Feel Like a HOLIDAY

• How to Be Gracious About a Truly Horrible Gift

• Great Gifts and How to Give Them

• AITAWICTG (Am I the Asshole When It Comes To Gifts)?

And there’s still time to send gifts/gift cards to trans young people in need via @transanta! ✨

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Unscented taper candles? Unscented taper candles!!!

When it comes to making purchases in an attempt to stave off existential dread, candles are at the top of my list — which is actually kind of a new thing for me! It all started when my girlfriend traveled to Sweden for work in early February. In addition to discovering that Swedish McDonald’s is called “McDonken,” and offers “Donken Deals” and “Donken Meals,” she learned a lot about great lighting.

Norrmalms Elektriska in Stockholm

Here’s what she had to say about all of this:  

“I visited Stockholm in February and learned that because it’s fairly far north, you experience regular early-afternoon darkness. Evidently, the shortest days are around six hours, and as you go further north, it’s basically dark around the clock. My guess is that because it gets so cold and dark there, Swedes have become experts in cozy, ephemeral lighting. (See also: hygge.) Even public street lamps were beautiful — soft, glowy orbs. 

In addition to beautiful lamps — think: mushroom lamps and paper lantern orbs — unscented taper candles and candlestick holders were ubiquitous and inexpensive. The candles were widely available in really lovely colors, most notably soft pastels. While I was there, I visited Lagerhaus (basically a cooler, leveled-up Bed Bath & Beyond) and bought as many candles as I could fit in my suitcase. When I got back home, I was reluctant to burn the candles; as far as I can tell, Lagerhaus doesn’t ship to the U.S., and I knew that once my supply ran out, that would be it.

A month or two later, I was browsing the website of Shop Sounds, a Park Slope boutique, and realized they sold colorful, unscented tapers. I bought two 6” pairs, at $6 a set. When I tried to buy more later, they were sold out, so I wanted to figure out if any other retailers carried them. 

Boutiques like this will typically name the designer of each item, but these particular candles were conspicuously missing a designer. Still, the website description offered one clue: ‘Designed and made in Rockport, Maine.’ So, I did a bit of Googling and discovered Danica Design Candles — a candle company based in West Rockport, Maine.

Don’t let their website fool you; the tapers are beautiful, come in tons of colors, and ship super quickly. Not only were we able to order the candles directly from them, in even more colors, they were significantly cheaper: $3 per pair vs. $6. So we ordered a bunch, and, because they were less expensive/easily replaced, started burning them every evening just...because. A new duvet o’clock, basically.” 

The Danica candles are available in several sizes, but we buy either the 6” tapers ($15.50 for a box of 10) and 9” tapers ($18.50 per box of 10). I like the look of the longer ones better, but the smaller ones tend to be a better fit for a lot of candle holders. 

Unscented taper candles were a revelation for me; I’m pretty sensitive to fragrances, so I can’t burn scented candles for very long/too near where I’m hanging out, and I avoid strong candles entirely. And because I was used to jar candles, I had always viewed them as something you do for fragrance/mood first and foremost versus something you do for decor. (While some candles, like Totem and Goober, are obviously decor, I would be less likely to burn them because I wouldn’t want to ruin the shapes.) But because unscented tapers are so elegant and the colors are so lovely, I see them more as a really beautiful decorative item and a way to create a mood. (They are also a pretty good source of light! Imagine that!) And because they don’t have a fragrance, you can light a bunch at once and let them burn for a few hours without getting a migraine. 

I’m also really loving unscented tapers as an (inexpensive) way to decorate for different seasons; this summer, we bought brighter colors (like maize, peach, and antique rose), and are now moving into fall colors (like pewter, honey, willow, bordeaux, and black). Last month, I ordered a bunch of boxes of Danica candles and shipped them to friends as part of a fall care package. (Shout out to my postal scale!) Here’s how our friends Tom and Danny styled the bordeaux tapers we sent them:

Image: @tomgvellner

Taper inspiration

My girlfriend and I follow a bunch of Scandinavian home accounts, and taper candles show up there pretty regularly. Some inspo: 

Image: @danicachloedk

Image: @mariaharmuth

Image: @frollein_herr

Image: @frollein_herr

Image: @cathdelichtenberg

Image: @cathdelichtenberg

Image: @aylagurganus

Image: @cathdelichtenberg

Image: @mosebacke

Image: @mosebacke

Other good taper candles

While I mostly stick to Danica’s tapers, I’ve expanded a little bit here and there in the past few months; I bought an ombré taper set from Urban and recently got two Frau Gold ombré tapers from Casa Ziki. The other ones I’m really excited about are these spiral candles from Kiosk48th; the colors are amazing and I love the glossy finish.

Image: Kiosk48th

While those particular ones are currently sold out, I’m seeing similar candles pop up at a lot of other retailers, and Etsy has a ton of not-quiiiite-the-same-but-still-nice twists too.

Taper holders

You’ll need something to put the tapers in, but taper holders are fairly plentiful in bigger retailers, at thrift and vintage stores, and on Etsy. We’ve collected a bunch over the past few months; here are some shopping recs: 

• We recently bought a couple $4.99 IKEA godtagbar candle holders, which are great — inexpensive, and built to catch dripping wax

• Urban Outfitters has lots of cute options, though the specific ones I have are no longer available

• Target has really nice, straightforward taper holders

• Blue and white wedding china–esque holders are plentiful on Etsy and look lovely mixed in with other, more modern, candle holders

• I ordered this splurgey Hübsch metal candle holder this summer, and Førmprojekt has other options in a range of prices

• I love Kiosk48th’s home goods, and their vintage section often has cool candelabras; I bought one that looks like this a few months ago

• Flying Tiger, which is based in Denmark but has stores in the New York area, has tons of unscented candles and candle holders, so I’m excited to be able to shop there again...someday

• A few days after I looked at tons of vintage red wooden candle holders in this style on Etsy, thinking it would be nice to get one for Christmas, my friend Caroline — who had no idea I had been looking at these! — was randomly like, “Hey I thrifted a candelabra that I think you guys would like, I’m going to ship it to you!” and it turned out to be a red wooden candelabra in the exact same style! Thrilling! 

Oh and Hay makes storage bins ($6–$10 from MoMA Design Store) that are a great way to store your growing candle collection!

The thing I really like about the Danica taper candles is that they have forced me to stop being precious about beautiful but ultimately fleeting items. I’ve certainly been guilty of saving things like candles and face masks and journals for some “special” future use, to the point that I don’t actually ever let myself enjoy them. It’s been nice to buy these candles and give myself permission to actually burn them just for the hell of it. 🕯

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Extremely good shit: IKEA Fado lamp

IKEA Lisabo side table, Mimi Ceramics planter, Poketo coaster

As the days get shorter and we prepare for a long winter at home, I’m getting very into lighting! I come to you with two strong recs in this department: unscented taper candles, and, today, the $25 IKEA Fado lamp.

I cannot say enough good things about this lamp, which my girlfriend brought into my life last year. It looks so nice and creates a soft, glowy, warm, cozy light. It also really pulls its weight, brightening up dark spaces without being too harsh.

It was actually impossible to get the Fado in Brooklyn for a while this spring/summer, but I kept checking the website regularly and they eventually returned — so we were able to buy two more, bringing our total to four (two in the living room, two in the bedroom). Other friends have mentioned the same thing happening in other cities recently, but they were also able to get them eventually, so don’t give up if it appears to be out of stock where you live.

The Fado comes with a perfectly good bulb, but if you want to take it to the next level, I recommend the Yeelight multicolor smart LED bulb ($32.99 on Amazon). We have two of these, and have been really happy with them. You can use the app that goes with it to choose the exact shade of white and brightness you want, and/or easily turn the bulb whatever color you want. (My friend Devin sold me on this idea, and now I’m very into it, especially for movie nights. I recommend a pink shade, personally.)

Other lighting-related odds and ends:

• While poking around Tradera (a Swedish version of eBay) this summer, my gf came across the IKEA Lykta lamp, which they no longer produce. It originally came in a bunch of colors; we tracked down a Barbie–fuchsia one on eBay, and absolutely love it. While the color is fairly aggro, it’s balanced by the fact that the lamp is so small. And when it’s on, it looks very much like the wax in a lava lamp, mid-bloop. It’s very flirty!!!

• The Room Essentials G40 clear globes from Target ($12 for a 20-ct. string) are my all-time favorite indoor/outdoor string lights.

• Good floor lamps are hard to find, but Article now has an orb floor lamp (floorb?) that looks pretty nice.

• I’m into IKEA's $12 Tokabo table lamp, which seems like it might be the new Lykta. The lamp’s designer said, “I see TOKABO table lamp as a cute little friend who fits anywhere, on the smallest shelf or table top.” A cute little friend!!! I love it. 💡

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Go on, live a little — get yourself the giant pasta-shaped garlic peeler

When my girlfriend bought this giant fake piece of penne from GreatBigStuff.com — along with some bowtie pasta pot grippers — I expected it to merely be decorative. That alone would be great! But much to my delight, it’s also a surprisingly effective garlic peeler.

Peeling garlic by hand is a fairly annoying task, and putting it in a plastic tube — that, it cannot be overstated, looks like a giant piece of penne — and rolling it around is a nice alternative that doesn’t take up a lot of kitchen space.

I highly recommend it! Get it from GreatBigStuff.com for $19. 🍝

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