Just Good Shit: 10.25.20

Hello and happy Sunday! The big news of the week around here is that my friend Sally and I launched our new podcast, Oh, I Like That. We’re just talking about things we like — areas of interest, life hacks, books and other media, etc. — as well as sharing our thoughts on how to be a person in society (aka talking about the AITA subreddit and the like). The first two episodes are out now on iTunes and Spotify, among other apps. (And if you want/need transcripts, you can find those at the Simplecast link above.) We hope you’ll listen/subscribe/rate and review!

Logo by Amber Seger

Here’s what else I had going on this week…

On the blog

Writing

How to Tell Your Family You're Not Coming Home for the Holidays

I’ve also been working on a bunch of stuff VICE’s holiday package! All of the content is great and 100% worth your time, but Amy Rose Spiegel’s list of ways to make your Thanksgiving weird and fun is a true not-to-be-missed gem.

My shit, elsewhere

I was on the Washington State Indivisible podcast discussing talking reaching apathetic voters, and I talked with my pal Nisha Chittal about what I’m doing to prepare for our impending pandemic winter. (I also recommend subscribing to her newsletter — I think you’ll like it!)

Reading

Dear Fuck-Up: Why Won't My Friend Text Me Back?, Jezebel.

On being a “public figure”, Maybe Baby.

A Journey to the Center of a Spicy Dunkin’ Donut, The Ringer.

I Would Sell My Soul for This Dutch Oven, Food & Wine.

Wearing

I decided to finally give the Baggu face masks ($32 for a set of three) a try and they are so great! We ordered two more packs. I’m also loving these autumnal scrunch socks ($22.90 for a four-pack from Amazon) — they are a great fall vibe.

Have a good Sunday night! 👻

P.S. The IKEA shelves I mentioned last week are finally up on the wall…though it got worse before it got better. More on that another day!

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Unscented taper candles? Unscented taper candles!!!

Pastel taper candles in lavender and pale yellow Hay crates sitting on top of a seafoam green Cold Picnic rug

When it comes to making purchases in an attempt to stave off existential dread, candles are at the top of my list — which is actually kind of a new thing for me! It all started when my girlfriend traveled to Sweden for work in early February. In addition to discovering that Swedish McDonald’s is called “McDonken,” and offers “Donken Deals” and “Donken Meals,” she learned a lot about great lighting.

Here’s what she had to say about all of this:

“I visited Stockholm in February and learned that because it’s fairly far north, you experience regular early-afternoon darkness. Evidently, the shortest days are around six hours, and as you go further north, it’s basically dark around the clock. My guess is that because it gets so cold and dark there, Swedes have become experts in cozy, ephemeral lighting. (See also: hygge.) Even public street lamps were beautiful — soft, glowy orbs.

In addition to beautiful lamps — think: mushroom lamps and paper lantern orbs — unscented taper candles and candlestick holders were ubiquitous and inexpensive. The candles were widely available in really lovely colors, most notably soft pastels. While I was there, I visited Lagerhaus (basically a cooler, leveled-up Bed Bath & Beyond) and bought as many candles as I could fit in my suitcase. When I got back home, I was reluctant to burn the candles; as far as I can tell, Lagerhaus doesn’t ship to the U.S., and I knew that once my supply ran out, that would be it.

A month or two later, I was browsing the website of Shop Sounds, a Park Slope boutique, and realized they sold colorful, unscented tapers. I bought two 6” pairs, at $6 a set. When I tried to buy more later, they were sold out, so I wanted to figure out if any other retailers carried them.

Boutiques like this will typically name the designer of each item, but these particular candles were conspicuously missing a designer. Still, the website description offered one clue: ‘Designed and made in Rockport, Maine.’ So, I did a bit of Googling and discovered Danica Design Candles — a candle company based in West Rockport, Maine.

Don’t let their website fool you; the tapers are beautiful, come in tons of colors, and ship super quickly. Not only were we able to order the candles directly from them, in even more colors, they were significantly cheaper: $3 per pair vs. $6. So we ordered a bunch, and, because they were less expensive/easily replaced, started burning them every evening just...because. A new duvet o’clock, basically.”

The Danica candles are available in several sizes, but we buy either the 6” tapers ($15.50 for a box of 10) and 9” tapers ($18.50 per box of 10). I like the look of the longer ones better, but the smaller ones tend to be a better fit for a lot of candle holders.

Colorful taper candles in a variety of different candle holders

Unscented taper candles were a revelation for me; I’m pretty sensitive to fragrances, so I can’t burn scented candles for very long/too near where I’m hanging out, and I avoid strong candles entirely. And because I was used to jar candles, I had always viewed them as something you do for fragrance/mood first and foremost versus something you do for decor. (While some candles, like Totem and Goober, are obviously decor, I would be less likely to burn them because I wouldn’t want to ruin the shapes.) But because unscented tapers are so elegant and the colors are so lovely, I see them more as a really beautiful decorative item and a way to create a mood. (They are also a pretty good source of light! Imagine that!) And because they don’t have a fragrance, you can light a bunch at once and let them burn for a few hours without getting a migraine.

I’m also really loving unscented tapers as an (inexpensive) way to decorate for different seasons; this summer, we bought brighter colors (like maize, peach, and antique rose), and are now moving into fall colors (like pewter, honey, willow, bordeaux, and black). Last month, I ordered a bunch of boxes of Danica candles and shipped them to friends as part of a fall care package. (Shout out to my postal scale!) Here’s how our friends Tom and Danny styled the bordeaux tapers we sent them:

Taper inspiration

My girlfriend and I follow a bunch of Scandinavian home accounts, and taper candles show up there pretty regularly. Some inspo:

Other good taper candles

While I mostly stick to Danica’s tapers, I’ve expanded a little bit here and there in the past few months; I bought an ombré taper set from Urban and recently got two Frau Gold ombré tapers from Casa Ziki. The other ones I’m really excited about are these spiral candles from Kiosk48th; the colors are amazing and I love the glossy finish.

While those particular ones are currently sold out, I’m seeing similar candles pop up at a lot of other retailers, and Etsy has a ton of not-quiiiite-the-same-but-still-nice twists too.

Taper holders

You’ll need something to put the tapers in, but taper holders are fairly plentiful in bigger retailers, at thrift and vintage stores, and on Etsy. We’ve collected a bunch over the past few months; here are some shopping recs:

We recently bought a couple $4.99 IKEA godtagbar candle holders, which are great — inexpensive, and built to catch dripping wax
Urban Outfitters has lots of cute options, though the specific ones I have are no longer available
Target has really nice, straightforward taper holders
Blue and white wedding china–esque holders are plentiful on Etsy and look lovely mixed in with other, more modern, candle holders
I ordered this splurgey Hübsch metal candle holder this summer, and Førmprojekt has other options in a range of prices
I love Kiosk48th’s home goods, and their vintage section often has cool candelabras; I bought one that looks like this a few months ago
Flying Tiger, which is based in Denmark but has stores in the New York area, has tons of unscented candles and candle holders, so I’m excited to be able to shop there again...someday
A few days after I looked at tons of vintage red wooden candle holders in this style on Etsy, thinking it would be nice to get one for Christmas, my friend Caroline — who had no idea I had been looking at these! — was randomly like, “Hey I thrifted a candelabra that I think you guys would like, I’m going to ship it to you!” and it turned out to be a red wooden candelabra in the exact same style! Thrilling!

Oh and Hay makes storage bins ($6–$10 from MoMA Design Store) that are a great way to store your growing candle collection!

The thing I really like about the Danica taper candles is that they have forced me to stop being precious about beautiful but ultimately fleeting items. I’ve certainly been guilty of saving things like candles and face masks and journals for some “special” future use, to the point that I don’t actually ever let myself enjoy them. It’s been nice to buy these candles and give myself permission to actually burn them just for the hell of it. 🕯

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Extremely good shit: IKEA Fado lamp

IKEA Lisabo side table, Mimi Ceramics planter, Poketo coaster

As the days get shorter and we prepare for a long winter at home, I’m getting very into lighting! I come to you with two strong recs in this department: unscented taper candles, and, today, the $25 IKEA Fado lamp.

I cannot say enough good things about this lamp, which my girlfriend brought into my life last year. It looks so nice and creates a soft, glowy, warm, cozy light. It also really pulls its weight, brightening up dark spaces without being too harsh.

IKEA fado lamp on IKEA lisabo side table next to ceramic checkerboard pot holding neon pothos plant

It was actually impossible to get the Fado in Brooklyn for a while this spring/summer, but I kept checking the website regularly and they eventually returned — so we were able to buy two more, bringing our total to four (two in the living room, two in the bedroom). Other friends have mentioned the same thing happening in other cities recently, but they were also able to get them eventually, so don’t give up if it appears to be out of stock where you live.

The Fado comes with a perfectly good bulb, but if you want to take it to the next level, I recommend the Yeelight multicolor smart LED bulb ($32.99 on Amazon). We have two of these, and have been really happy with them. You can use the app that goes with it to choose the exact shade of white and brightness you want, and/or easily turn the bulb whatever color you want. (My friend Devin sold me on this idea, and now I’m very into it, especially for movie nights. I recommend a pink shade, personally.)

Other lighting-related odds and ends:

While poking around Tradera (a Swedish version of eBay) this summer, my gf came across the IKEA Lykta lamp, which they no longer produce. It originally came in a bunch of colors; we tracked down a Barbie–fuchsia one on eBay, and absolutely love it. While the color is fairly aggro, it’s balanced by the fact that the lamp is so small. And when it’s on, it looks very much like the wax in a lava lamp, mid-bloop. It’s very flirty!!!
The Room Essentials G40 clear globes from Target ($12 for a 20-ct. string) are my all-time favorite indoor/outdoor string lights.
Good floor lamps are hard to find, but Article now has an orb floor lamp (floorb?) that looks pretty nice.
I’m into IKEA's $12 Tokabo table lamp, which seems like it might be the new Lykta. The lamp’s designer said, “I see TOKABO table lamp as a cute little friend who fits anywhere, on the smallest shelf or table top.” A cute little friend!!! I love it. 💡

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Just Good Shit: 10.18.20

Hello! I’m currently taking a break from the hell that is trying to mount IKEA’s Svalnäs shelves. If anyone has successfully installed these (and put things on them without a catastrophic result), please DM me!!!! I have already talked about these shelves in therapy once and I would like to finish this project very soon.

Moving on! Here’s what else I was up to this week…

My shit, elsewhere

I talked to Sarah Galli of Andy’s Girls about RHOP this week! Listen here.

Reading

My Mustache, My Self, New York Times.
If you read one thing this week, make it this. Every single line is so good.

Who Keeps Us Safe?, The Baffler.

Last Exit From Autocracy, The Atlantic.

Safety Turducken, Emily Oster.

Don’t Grieve Alone. Reach Out., New York Times.

The Town That Went Feral, New Republic.

'Emily in Paris' Captures the Worst of American White Girls Abroad, VICE.

Circling The Block, Defector.
I was really stressed out reading this at first, but I was fully smiling by the end.

Have a good Sunday night! 🔨

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Just Good Shit: 10.11.20

Hi! Here’s what I had going on this week…

Writing

Reading

Do DC Renters Who Are Evicted Know About Their Court Dates?, DCist.

‘What are we so afraid of?’ Tony Green, on dismissing, denying, contracting and spreading the coronavirus, Washington Post.

Two of These Mail Ballot Signatures Are by the Same Person. Which Ones?, The New York Times.

Three Supreme Court Justices Just Showed They’re Willing to Throw Out Mail-In Ballots, Slate.

There’s Never Been a Story Like Britney Spears’s, The Atlantic.

How “Am I the Asshole?” Created a Medium Place on the Internet, The Ringer.

The Real Housewives Versus Reality, Vulture.

I Think About ‘Act Ditzy, Lose Things’ a Lot, The Cut.

Cooking

I made my favorite ziti last Sunday night and it was, once again, perfect. Highly recommend!

Have a good Sunday night! 🌜

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Just Good Shit: 10.04.20

Hello! Hope you’re all enjoying this absolutely chill and normal weekend!!! Here’s what I’ve been up to this week…

Writing

How to Cope When Everything Feels Bad and Somehow It Keeps Getting Worse

I was also a guest on for NPR Life Kit, talking about preparing for the winter ahead. And they made a cute illustrated post to go with the episode!

Reading

I Lived Through Collapse. America Is Already There, Indi Samarajiva on Medium.

The Relentlessness of Black Grief, The Atlantic.

@DDDrewDaniel on lessons on sympathy during a pandemic that we can take from the AIDS crisis.

How the 6-Feet Rule Can Lead Us Astray, Slate.

No, The Government Did Not Break Up A Child Sex Trafficking Ring In Georgia, HuffPost.

Despite Documented Human Rights Abuses, De Blasio Refuses To Denounce NYPD's Mott Haven Beatdown, Gothamist.

The Women Making Conspiracy Theories Beautiful, The Atlantic.

How to Make the Most of Covid Winter, Bloomberg.
This article is more about city planning than personal changes, and I really enjoyed it.

Students Use TikTok to Document the Invasive Test-Taking Software Destroying Their Lives, Jezebel.
The fuck is wrong with these professors?

“Get Organized with The Home Edit” Is Infomercial Reality Television, The New Yorker.

Who Gets to Be an Equestrian?, ELLE.

Have a good one! 🍂

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Just Good Shit: 09.27.20

This week was a lot and, once again, I’m not sure what there is to say. Breonna Taylor’s life mattered. Black women’s lives matter. We’ve been doing this same shit for years. No, really. Our opponent doesn’t have a conscience.

Here’s what else I’ve got tonight.

Writing

Also wanted to re-up this one, from a couple of months ago: Self-Care Tips for Black People Who Are Really Going Through It Right Now.

Reading

The Election That Could Break America, The Atlantic.

The Prophecies of Q, The Atlantic.

What we can learn about QAnon from the Satanic Panic, Vox.

The N95 shortage America can’t seem to fix, Washington Post.

How We Survive the Winter, The Atlantic.

Amid the Outpouring for Ginsburg, a Hint of Backlash, The New York Times.

Her Lawyers Say She Was Coerced To Plead Guilty To A Crime That Never Happened, The Appeal.

This Is the Casual Racism That I Face at My Elite High School, The New York Times.

How a Marriage Survives a Cult, The Cut.

The Long Golden Age of Useless, American Crap, LitHub.

Guess I Gotta Write This Goddamn Diversity Article Again, Transom.

Is It Okay to Have Hope?, ¡Hola Papi!.

Donating

This week, I donated to Movement Voter Project, Forward Majority, and Florida Rights Restoration Coalition. I’m also writing letters for Vote Forward.

Have a good one. ❤️

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Just Good Shit: 09.20.20

Hi, friends. I wish I had something eloquent or helpful to say about RBG’s passing but I’m kind of at a loss for words. But I’ve re-read Rebecca Traister’s latest piece for The Cut a few times now, and I have been thinking a lot about this sentiment in particular:

“Ruth Bader Ginsburg matters, now as much as she ever has, but her survival alone couldn’t have saved us, any more than getting rid of Donald Trump will save us. We are facing something far larger: a desperate, life-or-death fight to rebuild, reimagine, reform (and in some cases raze) enormous apparatuses, including our criminal justice, electoral, health-care, and education systems, labor and capitalism, education, housing, the courts themselves, and, most urgently, the health of our planet. It will call on us to fight as fiercely and with as much determination as Ginsburg herself fought, through her life and career.”

Here’s what else I had going on this week:

Reading

A pandemic, a motel without power and a potentially terrifying glimpse of Orlando’s future, Washington Post.

We Could Lose Roe v. Wade Next Year. What Now?, The Cut.

Housekeepers Face a Disaster Generations in the Making, The New York Times.

Buying Myself Back, The Cut.

What Happened Inside Ed Buck’s Apartment?, The New York Times.

How to track your ballot like a UPS package, Washington Post.

It Took Divorce to Make My Marriage Equal, Glamour.

The Consequences of Your Actions, Design Mom.
Go OFF, Design Mom!! I loved this.

Watching

Becoming on Netflix; The Source Family on Amazon Prime (just OK imo, though three people I trust spoke very highly of it); and more Real Housewives of Potomac.

Donating

This week, I donated to Jaime Harrison, who is running against Lindsey Graham in South Carolina, and Mike Espy, who is running for Senate in Mississippi (where he’d be the first Black senator since 1881). I also have recurring monthly donations set up for Sister District, along with Black and Pink and Food Bank for New York City.

Have a good one. 🤍

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Just Good Shit: 09.13.20

Hello again! Here’s what I was up to this week…

Writing

I also contributed to this guide to voting by mail in all 50 states.

Reading

I’m currently reading The Great Indoors: The Surprising Science of How Buildings Shape Our Behavior, Health, and Happiness.

Also:

America Is Trapped in a Pandemic Spiral, The Atlantic.

They Know How to Prevent Megafires. Why Won’t Anybody Listen?, ProPublica.

“9/11 changed my family forever. I'd like to tell you about that day from my family's perspective.”

‘May rent. June rent. Late fees. Penalties.’ Tusdae Barr, on being evicted from her home during the coronavirus crisis, The Washington Post.

The Electoral College Will Destroy America, The New York Times.

Every COVID-19 Death Has Devastated a Family, Slate.

I’m Unemployed and Trans. Getting the Help I Need Has Been a Nightmare, them.

N.Y. Will Move Homeless Men From Liberal Neighborhood After Backlash, The New York Times.
This makes me so fucking angry.

Coronavirus, Charity, and the Trolley Problem, Crooked.
This funny and moving essay about donating bone marrow during a pandemic is one of the best things I’ve read in recent memory.

The DMV Reviewed Thousands of Hilarious Vanity Plate Applications Last Year. These Are Our Favorites, Los Angeles Magazine.

Watching & listening to

We’ve been watching The Vow and Real Housewives of Potomac (starting with Season 2 — it’s so funny and fun to watch). I also highly recommend You’re Wrong About’s Tuskegee syphilis study episode.

Other shit

I recently got a lap desk ($40 from Amazon) and am thrilled with this purchase; I wish I’d had this ages ago. (Bonus: this one is wide enough that I can actually use my mouse with it!!)
I’m transitioning to fall with this cozy blue sweatshirt ($29.90 at Uniqlo).
We’ve been doing this beginner bodyweight workout for the past two weeks and it’s just what I needed in a home workout — challenging but doable, and fairly quick.

Have a good night! ✨