Just a bunch of gentle ways to entertain yourself without leaving your home

Image: Jonathan Howard Kemp via Unsplash

Hi, friends. Things feel pretty scary right now, and once you’ve had your fill of the day’s (or hour’s) news, you might find yourself with a lot of time on your hands and no idea how to fill it… and that boredom and anxiety can make going out very tempting. (BTW, if you’re not self-isolating yet but really could be, read Your Social Life Is Going on Hiatus and all the links within.)

With that in mind, I put together a list of things to occupy your mind and time for the next little while. (And I’ll update it if/when I think of other ideas!) I hope something on here will be just the thing you were looking for.

To read

The best things I’ve written and edited over the years

The best things I read and wrote in 2019

Old BuzzFeed posts from my team: Terri Pous, Tom Vellner, Anna Borges, and Gyan Yankovich. (And me!)

My Goodreads profile (note: I was adding pretty haphazardly prior to 2019)

Reading list: Pride edition

Just good summer reading

My favorite Ask a Manager posts

PSA: You can check out e-books from your local library through the Libby app.

This also seems like a great time to pick up Elin Hildebrand novels!

To listen to

Here are my all-time favorite podcast episodes

More playlists to have on for background noise, including a new one for March + bonus fun bops

To watch

Jane the Virgin

Cheer

Black Mirror (Just “San Junipero” and “Nosedive” for now)

Our Planet (because Netflix pulled Planet Earth recently)

Ken Burns’ Prohibition

Steven Universe: The Movie

Homecoming: A Film by Beyoncé

Pen15

Nailed It

Jeopardy!

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse

I Love Lucy

Are You the One? Season 8 (It’ll repair some of the rot caused by Love Is Blind)

RuPaul’s Drag Race

Feel Good on Netflix

To do*

*As long as you already possess the necessary supplies/ingredients

Make delicious use of all your beans and pasta. (Related: Chickpea pasta, lemon butter pasta, and simple recipes to make when your life is in shambles.)

Make friendship bracelets. Also consider this list of creative hobbies to try when everything is awful and you're not okay.

Pour your anxious energy into a tiny home project that will leave you feeling accomplished.

Use YouTube tutorials to teach yourself music video choreography.

Try Yoga with Adriene or a Ryan Heffington IG Live dance class.

Do a puzzle.

Get on the Marco Polo app — it’s a fun/easy way to keep in touch.

Read How to Solve The New York Times Crossword, download the app, and try your first Monday puzzle. (Tip: Doing all the old Monday and Tuesday puzzles in the archives is a great way to get better very quickly.)

Make friendship bracelets. Also consider this list of creative hobbies to try when everything is awful and you're not okay.

Journal daily.

Create DIY/art projects/collages with whatever supplies you have! I’m probably going to dust off my Cricut at some point this weekend and make weird/silly shit with it, and/or make a zine.

Be a good neighbor.

And remember to call/FaceTime friends and family to stay connected, especially if you (or they!) live alone — it really does help! 💛

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Just Good Bops: March

What do you play during a national emergency? I don’t know exactly — I started creating a new March playlist a little over two weeks ago, which might as well be an entire lifetime ago at this point. But what I do know is that the process of hunting down new (or new to me) tracks has always been a meditative activity for me, and listening to music makes me feel better. Because I’ve canceled all social engagements, anything I can do to keep myself busy indoors right now is extremely welcome.

I also know that the best I’ve felt in the past week was this morning, when I threw on Valerie by Steve Winwood. I was genuinely surprised by how quickly my anxious puttering turned into unabashedly silly dancing. It was fun and provided the laugh we desperately needed.

So, I’m sharing two playlists today — one to put on in the background, and a second one to get up and dance to. I hope listening to them will ease your mind as much as curating them for you eased mine.

(And here’s the usual disclaimer! I’ve never been good at curating a playlist that ebbs and flows in just the right way, so just throw this shit on shuffle and have a good time.)

Just Good Bops: March 2020

This one’s packed with lots of new releases (and one song from 1996, for good measure).

I would also recommend spending a little extra time with the following albums:

Immunity, Clairo
La vita nuovo, Christine and the Queens
Fine Line, Harry Styles.
I must say, I’m really surprised by how much I’ve enjoyed this album. It’s not exactly groundbreaking — it’s like an extremely watered down version of Fleetwood Mac or David Bowie — but sometimes it’s nice to put something on that just feels…uncomplicated.

Just Fun Bops

This is an adapted version of a “morning bops” playlist I made a year and a half ago. I’m not a morning person, but I found that listening to some upbeat music first thing helped wake me up, and get me excited for the day ahead. And when the day ahead involves existing within the same four walls, why not wiggle around, belt some lyrics, and try to have a little fun?

Pro tip: Most of these songs double as excellent karaoke songs. But please, I’m fucking begging you, do NOT go to karaoke right now. We’ll have karaoke again eventually. 🎧

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How to wear white clothes year-round without completely ruining them

White stool with a stack of pastel sweaters folded on it next to a wooden clothing rack with white/cream/pink items, all in front of a pink backdrop

The question I get asked most often — just after “What race are you?” by total strangers in public!!! — is “How do you wear white clothes all the time without ruining them?” It’s true that I have a well-documented affinity for white and pastels; not only do I wear white jeans or pants year-round, I also have all white bedding and towels, and have owned an ivory couch for four years.

I’m actually not immune to spills and stains; I’ve had a few Huge Incidents over the past five years. But keeping my stuff relatively clean is important to me because I don’t want to waste money (or…waste clothing) so I put some effort into it. I think a smallish amount of practical planning and knowledge goes a long way, and that luck has done the rest.

Anyway, for those who have asked me what my “secret” is...here you go!

Maybe start by wearing inexpensive items you don’t care as much about.
I’m not a huge fan of buying things you view as disposable or plan to replace in short order, but I also think it makes sense to test things out a bit before committing to an expensive version of them. If you’re worried about ruining white jeans, for example, you could get a pair from a thrift store or clothing swap and see how you fare using some of the tips below. Over time, you might feel confident enough to start buying nicer/more expensive stuff.
Wait to get dressed until right before you leave the house.
If you’re wearing white clothes around the house while you get ready in the morning, the likelihood that you’ll spill makeup, toothpaste, or coffee on them is high. I always take Chuck out before I get dressed for the day, and try to minimize my at-home exposure to food, dirt, coffee, etc. when I’m wearing white.
Avoid wearing white on rainy days.
I actually don’t abide by this tip most the time, but if you’ve only got a few white items in rotation, save them for dry days! Mud/dirt/dirty water droplets are bar far the biggest offender I’ve come across — far bigger than blood or food or coffee.
Be strategic with your outerwear/layers.
If you’re going to wear a coat, wear a coat that covers your ass vs. a jacket that does not! This will come in handy when you’re, say, sitting on a park bench.

I know that Jean Wang of the blog Extra Petite once suggested tying a lightweight jacket around your waist before sitting on a park bench or outdoor cafe, a tip that I’ve never personally used, but that seems like it would work. You could also set down an inexpensive blanket/scarf or something to that effect.
Put napkins on your lap when you’re eating.
This one is so simple but really does make a difference. And don’t just put one tiny napkin on your lap; open a few and spread them out a bit.
Actually look at your clothes after you take them off/before washing them.
I don’t bust out a magnifying glass to inspect every item I own after I wear it, but I do do a quick scan after I take something off, before I wash it, and/or before I wear it again without washing it first. In my experience, most stains or just general clothing grossness happens without my even realizing it, especially in spots that are hard to see when the clothes are on your body. (The waistband of jeans/pants and then the first few inches of the hem are the two prime spots, in my experience.)

If you don’t realize the stains are there, you’re likely to skip treating them before you do laundry, and then toss the item in the dryer, thus baking the stain in for good. So making a point to handle and look over your clothes for an extra 10 seconds goes a long way.
Be aware of your body in space.
This one is harder to explain, or perhaps to train yourself to do, but I feel fairly aware of what I’m doing with my body when I’m wearing white. So that means I do things like…

- Sitting close enough to a table where I’m eating, so that less of my bottom half/lap is exposed
- Carrying my mug of coffee at a slightly larger distance from my body than I would otherwise, so that if it does slosh over the side, it’s less likely to land on me/my clothes
- Avoiding overfilling mugs of coffee/tea
- Slowing down when I’m turning a corner, to give other people time to see me
- Looking at seats/surfaces before I sit on them to make sure they are clean
- Paying attention to what I’m eating/drinking while I’m consuming it (i.e., I try not to consume while super distracted by a book or a coffee)

This stuff may seem overly fussy, but I think it’s pretty imperceptible to other people, and it probably makes the biggest difference. It’s also not like I’m constantly weighed down by thoughts about this stuff; a lot of it is just second-nature now, and even when it wasn’t, I didn’t find it stressful or tiring.
Use a period tracker app.
Many a human who bleeds regularly (or irregularly) has asked me how I deal with my period and white clothes. The biggest thing I do is track my periods. Of course, it’s not a perfect science, but it does at least tell me generally when to expect it, which then means I can plan accordingly. In this case, plan accordingly might actually mean “wear a pad just in case” which is fine — I’d much rather do that than ruin my favorite white dress.

I also don’t mind using a pad as a backup when wearing a tampon on some days, and on more than one occasion, I’ve been glad that I did.
Wear an apron.
I’ve preferred cooking in an apron for years; to me, it’s just more comfortable and practical than not. (And aprons typically have pockets!!) I will also put an apron on when doing dishes after a meal, or when mixing drinks — activities that have a fairly high potential for splashing/staining.
Treat stains right away, and treat them often.
I’m pretty dogged when it comes to getting stains out. (Related: my two favorite stain removers.) One example: Last fall, I went to a work event where we were given red “admit one” drink tickets. I left one in the back pocket of my white Levi’s, and then later put the jeans through the wash. When I pulled the jeans out of the washing machine, it looked like a tube of lipstick had been smashed in the pocket. Levi’s had stopped selling the jeans (and they were fairly expensive to begin with) so I extra committed to getting the stain out. It took a couple weeks of a cycle of treating the spot, letting the treatment sit, and washing the jeans in cold water before the stain finally let up enough to be able to wear them again. (I actually gave up when it was about 90% there, and it surprised me by coming the final 10% of the way in the subsequent weeks.)

Getting a stain out of fabric is sort of a fun challenge to me at this point, but I actually don’t think you need to be that aggressive about stains (more on that in a second). That said, I think a lot of people don’t try very hard, or at all — they toss the item in the laundry and wash it with hot water without treating it first, or they give the stain a bunch of time to set before they bother treating it, and then feel like, Welp, I just suck at laundry and wearing white. So I think it’s important to know how to treat stains and to own the tools to do so. Treat them as well as you can, as soon as you can, and give it your best shot.
But also…make peace with stains!
I long ago just sort of accepted that spills and stains are a part of life, and that trying to prevent them or remove every trace of them is an exercise in futility. That’s why I eventually gave up when the Levi’s were most of the way there; the main reason I kept at it in that case was that the pants were pretty unwearable, and I want to avoid getting rid of/replacing stuff as much as possible.

That said, I don’t really take stains personally, and I think that’s important. Spilling something on yourself doesn’t make you clumsy or “not an adult,” and wearing something that has a spot on it isn’t that big of a deal. I know this because I continue to wear clothes that have tiny spots/stains that I am very aware of, and people still always ask me how I keep my white stuff so clean.

I’ll leave you with some advice from Cheryl Mendelson, who offered advice in Home Comforts that I’ve really taken to heart: “If a beautiful object has a tiny flaw, some people do not notice it and others notice nothing else. In dealing with stains, the most important skill you can acquire is the ability not to be bothered by small imperfections that you cannot fix. … Stains are not dirt; they are inadvertent dyeings. While dirt should continue to arouse your fighting spirit, it is perfectly all right to surrender to insignificant stains.” ✨

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An ode to my two favorite stain removers

Green Spray ‘n Wash stick on a blue color block blanket background

Look, I’m not trying to make enemies in the laundry industry, but when it comes to stain treatment, I think T*de pens are very much a scam. As my coworker recently said, they offer the illusion of preparedness, and not much else. As a lover of white clothes and bedding, I swear by two other products: OxiClean stain remover spray and Spray ‘n Wash sticks.

I have only had a handful of Major Incidents with regard to white fabric. The fist time it happened, I had just gotten brand-new white flannel sheets and a cozy white cotton blanket for my bed. Washing all of these items before using them is a task in NYC, and I was thrilled to finally have them on my bed because my apartment was very cold.

The first night I slept on them, I woke up feeling great. And also like my face was…wet? I was sitting up in bed when I touched my nose, and then looked down at my hand and realized I had my first-ever bloody nose. A beat later, basically in slow motion, I watched big, fat crimson blood drops fall from my face and land on the fitted sheet, top sheet, and blanket. Every single component of the bedding was hit.

Luckily enough, I had just read Home Comforts, where I had learned that you should use an enzyme-based cleaner on organic and protein-based stains, and I had — after realizing that I didn’t own an enzyme cleaner — ordered some OxiClean spray, which was now sitting in my closet. So I stripped my bed, while feeling pretty certain that my sheets and blanket were going to be forever marred by this. I made peace with that, but I treated them with the Oxi, let them soak in cold water, and then rinsed them… and the stains completely disappeared.

I was sold.

The second Major Incident happened at work. A visitor to the BuzzFeed office got in the down elevator with me on the 16th floor; she was carrying a lidless travel cup of coffee, and when the elevator stopped on my floor, she thought we had reached the lobby. She stepped out, realized her mistake, went to turn around to get back on the elevator, and was startled by my presence right behind her. She jolted, THROWING her coffee all over my white jeans in the process.

Looking at the fist-sized stain on my thigh, I knew what I had to do: marched to the CVS across the street from my office, bought a big bottle of Oxi spray, went to the single-stall bathroom, stripped off my Bean boots, the socks my jeans were tucked into, and jeans; treated the stain with the Oxi; and then rinsed everything out in the sink. Despite the fact that my jeans were very wet — it looked like I’d pissed myself — the stain was basically gone.

So, yes, I’m an OxiClean stan; it works great for everything, generally speaking. However, I’ve recently added the Spray ‘n Wash stick to my toolkit; I discovered it via my girlfriend, and was pleasantly surprised by how effective it is. It even got a faint coffee stain that was years old and that I’d simply given up on out of a beloved white dress. I’ve used it on other smaller stains (grease, food, even other blood drops) and it’s worked well every time.

I now go between the two, depending on the stain, and strongly recommend having both around! The Spray ‘n Wash is small and won’t leak — despite the name, it’s not a spray at all, but a waxy deodorant-esque stick ‚ so it’s a good one to keep it in your desk/bag/locker. (I’ve also used the OxiClean gel stick, and while I think it’s fine, I ultimately prefer the spray…but to each their own!)

Regardless of which you choose, you can definitely be done with T*de pens once and for all.

Get everything from Amazon: a pack of three Spray ‘n Wash sticks for $10.86, a three-pack of OxiClean spray for $16.90, and Home Comforts for $13.59.

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Just Good Shit: 03.08.20

Hello! Here are this week’s highlights…

Editing

Reading

How hard will the robots make us work?, The Verge.

How Pandemics Change History, The New Yorker.

My dad, the Joe Biden voter, The Outline.

The Deification of the Older Black Voter, Jezebel.

The Horrifying Things I’ve Seen as an Office Manager in Silicon Valley, The Bold Italic.

BYU Is Trying to Force Queer Students Back Into the Closet, VICE.

The ‘Rage Baking’ Controversy, Explained, Eater.

#1256: Boundaries and parenting, when the adult child might be the problem, Captain Awkward.

How to Deal With a Quarantine If You're Struggling Emotionally, Lifehacker.
TIL the difference between quarantine and home isolation.

“Love Is Blind” Is Basically a Lesbian Reality Show for Straight People — and I Can’t Get Enough of It, Autostraddle.

Watching & listening to

On Friday night, I knew I wanted to watch something, and I had a very specific thing in mind: I wanted something with really soothing, beautiful animation; with a Nosedive-esque palette; with a nice, gentle story; and preferably gay. After a lot of Googling, I settled on Steven Universe the Movie, which could not have been more perfect. I had never seen the show before, which was completely fine. (Reading this post was helpful, but I think you’d be fine without it.) The music is great, the visuals are gorgeous, and the vibe is really sweet and wholesome. Highly recommend.

Also, the new Reply All episode “The Case of the Missing Hit” is so, so good!

Have a great Sunday! ☀️

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Just Good Shit: 03.01.20

Hello and happy March! Here’s what I had going on this week…

On the blog

cozy :) house :) shoes :)

Writing

What to Do When Your Friend's Partner Has a Terrible Personality

Reading

This week, I read The Sum of Small Things: A Theory of the Aspirational Class, which was fine! It was fairly academic and fairly interesting.

Also:

‘You Believe He’s Lying?’, The Cut.

The Biggest Mormon School in the US Now Says Queer Students Can Touch—Maybe, VICE.

How our solo homes became cocoons, Curbed.

“I Fail Almost Every Day”: An Interview with Samin Nosrat, The New Yorker.

Starbucks: A reconsideration, Vox.

How Not to Care When People Don't Like You, Lifehacker.

Here’s What You, Personally, Should Do About Coronavirus, VICE.

Preparing for Coronavirus to Strike the U.S., Scientific American.

When Did Snacking Become So...Bleak?, Bon Appétit.

Love Is Blind Leads Us Into the Dark, Vanity Fair.

A Royal Instagram Mystery, The New York Times.
So good!

Good advice

I got a helpful email from a reader named Meleyna last week after I mentioned that the noodles in the soup I made absorbed all the broth: “General advice when making soup with noodles/rice/etc: cook it separately and add it to your individual bowl when serving. Store them in their own containers if you’re eating for the the week. You can also freeze extra soup base, defrost, and boil fresh noodles down the line. Bc imo the whole point of soup is leftovers!”

Huge “oh yeah, duh!” moment on my part. I do this with lasagna soup already, and don’t know why I didn’t think of doing it in this instance!

Have a great Sunday! ✨

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cozy :) house :) shoes :)

If you want to feel extra cozy when tooling around town or doing chores at home, might I suggest these cozy shearling slip-ons? They are vegan, come in black shearling, and cost $12.50 at Wal-mart (on sale from $35).

I feel like they’re good for anyone who loves Jenni Kayne but doesn’t have Jenni Kayne money.

Speaking of my clog wishlist, I’m very into these muted Birks, and I love these Calzuro clogs for summer! (While this look isn’t my personal style, it’s very cute.) ☁️

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Just Good Shit: 02.23.20

Hi! Here’s what I was up to this week…

On the blog

If you want to get a piercing in NYC/Brooklyn, go to So Gold Studios in Williamsburg

Editing

What to Do If You're Worried About Never Having Been in a Relationship

Reading

This week, I read You Never Forget Your First: A Biography of George Washington, which I…did not love! I definitely learned some new things from it, but I really struggled to get through it. There were several instances where the author didn’t fully define relevant/important references, so I didn’t understand what was going on. There were also a lot of sentences that were were really hard to parse (even though the language was fairly casual), and could have been written/edited differently. It’s one to get from the library, IMO. (And/or just read the excellent Destiny of the Republic instead!!)

Also:

The Golden Age of White Collar Crime, The Highline / HuffPost.

6 People Describe Being Stopped and Frisked When Bloomberg Was Mayor of NYC, VICE.

Why Are Workers Struggling? Because Labor Law Is Broken, The New York Times.

The Princess, the Plantfluencers, and the Pink Congo Scam, Wired.

This Brand is Late Capitalism, The Baffler.

Announcement: Saturday Spirals Are the New Sunday Scaries, Man Repeller.

I Tried Not to Cum While Playing the Adult Games Advertised on Pornhub, VICE.

Always Buy Lemons, Lifehacker.

Cooking

I made Lindsay Hunt’s from-scratch chicken broth and chicken noodle soup this week; it’s really good. One note: the noodles absorb ALL the broth so it doesn’t make for great leftovers; if you’re not feeding a lot of people, you should probably make the full batch of broth, but then halve the the main recipe or make it in two batches on two different days so you can eat it immediately. But it was very good and I want to try the ramen recipe next.

Book stuff

My publisher is doing an Art of Showing Up giveaway on Goodreads! It runs until March 4, 2020, and anyone with a Goodreads account is eligible. You can enter here.

Have a great Sunday! ☀️

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If you want to get a piercing in NYC/Brooklyn, go to So Gold Studios in Williamsburg

It seems like everyone I know is getting second (or third, or fourth) ear piercings lately, an observation that Cosmo recently validated. If you’re in the market for a new piercing in the NYC/Brooklyn area, I can’t recommend So Gold Studios enough! I got a conch piercing last month, and was really happy with the experience.

So Gold Studios is a one-woman shop in Williamsburg that opened last summer. The owner, Cassi Lopez-March, has been piercing for ~17 years (she worked at New York Adorned for like a decade before opening her own place) and she really knows her shit. The studio is teeny, and really cozy while also being extremely sterile/surgical (so… exactly what I want in a piercing studio).

The jewelry is fairly pricey because all the stones/diamonds are real, but you we-use the jewelry you’ve already purchased if you get another piercing from her later. (So, after my current piercing heals, I can use this same earring to get a new piercing in a different spot, and I’ll only have to pay for the piercing itself, which is $40.) I definitely felt like the service matched the overall higher price point of the trip — we had a private appointment; got to take our sweet time picking out jewelry (which is important because it’s expensive and you’re going to be wearing it every day for a while); were able to be very fussy about the exact placement of each piercing; and I didn’t feel rushed through in any way.

I also feel really good about my aftercare; I’ve been doing exactly as Cassi instructed — cleaning it with 0.9% sodium chloride sterile saline wound wash twice daily and taking the time to pat it dry afterward — and my piercing looks and feels great.

Cassi said most of her clients are repeat customers, which makes sense to me both in general in terms of body art, and also with regard to her specifically. She was just great; after I left I had a feeling of “Obviously I will only ever get pierced by Cassi for the rest of my life” and I immediately wanted to recommend her to all my friends (hello). I am definitely planning to go back in a few months. (I love this earscape and am on my way to something sort of like it.)

A few people have asked me if the conch piercing hurt a lot, and the answer is… it hurt exactly as much as you’d think it would? Like, it feels just like you’d imagine someone pushing a needle through a thick part of your ear would feel — no more, no less. For about a week after my appointment, it was fairly sensitive; I couldn’t sleep on my left side, and it would hurt a lot if, say, I bumped it with my glasses or while doing my hair. And then after a week it simply stopped hurting entirely! (This experience is extremely similar to what I’ve heard from friends who have recently gotten new ear piercings.) But it was fine/worth it and I’m ultimately really happy with it!

By the way, if you want some general ear piercing inspo, here are a few good IG accounts to look to: Maria Tash, Studs, Pamela Love, and So Gold Studios.

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Just Good Shit: 02.16.20

Hi! This week was a busy one — my team at work was cranking out a big Valentine’s Day package, and The Art of Showing Up went to print. Here’s everything I was up to…

On the blog

Last-minute Valentine's Day gift ideas for the discerning but procrastinating drugstore shopper

Writing

Editing

I also had a big hand in several other Change of Heart articles!

Reading

Reddit’s Female Dating Strategy offers women advice — and a strict rulebook for how to act, The Verge.

Fashion Week Is Simply Not Sustainable, The Cut.

Lori Gottlieb's Marry Him Was Always a Caricature of the Petty, Shallow Woman, Jezebel.

The Original Renegade, The New York Times.

Tinder’s Most Notorious Men, The Atlantic.

Everyone at work is hanging out without me, Ask a Manager.

Try Out a New Accessory Away From Your Friends, Lifehacker.

I Don’t Go to Spin Class for My Ears to Bleed, Yet Here We Are, The Cut.

Watching

This week, I saw Portrait of a Lady on Fire, which is beautifully shot and feels like a cross between Call Me By Your Name and Titanic. I also watched The Long Shot, which is pretty silly and funny, as far as rom coms go.

Have a great Sunday! 💕

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BTW

To read

To listen to

To watch

To do*

*As long as you already possess the necessary supplies/ingredients

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Just Good Bops: March 2020

Just Fun Bops

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Editing

Reading

Watching & listening to

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On the blog

Writing

Reading

Good advice

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On the blog

Editing

Reading

Cooking

Book stuff

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On the blog

Writing

Editing

Reading

Watching

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