How to wear white clothes year-round without completely ruining them

The question I get asked most often — just after “What race are you?” by total strangers in public!!! — is “How do you wear white clothes all the time without ruining them?” It’s true that I have a well-documented affinity for white and pastels; not only do I wear white jeans or pants year-round, I also have all white bedding and towels, and have owned an ivory couch for four years. 

I’m actually not immune to spills and stains; I’ve had a few Huge Incidents over the past five years. But keeping my stuff relatively clean is important to me because I don’t want to waste money (or…waste clothing) so I put some effort into it. I think a smallish amount of practical planning and knowledge goes a long way, and that luck has done the rest. 

Anyway, for those who have asked me what my “secret” is...here you go! 

1. Maybe start by wearing inexpensive items you don’t care as much about.
   I’m not a huge fan of buying things you view as disposable or plan to replace in short order, but I also think it makes sense to test things out a bit before committing to an expensive version of them. If you’re worried about ruining white jeans, for example, you could get a pair from a thrift store or clothing swap and see how you fare using some of the tips below. Over time, you might feel confident enough to start buying nicer/more expensive stuff.  
   
   

2. Wait to get dressed until right before you leave the house.
   If you’re wearing white clothes around the house while you get ready in the morning, the likelihood that you’ll spill makeup, toothpaste, or coffee on them is high. I always take Chuck out before I get dressed for the day, and try to minimize my at-home exposure to food, dirt, coffee, etc. when I’m wearing white. 
   
   

3. Avoid wearing white on rainy days. 
   I actually don’t abide by this tip most the time, but if you’ve only got a few white items in rotation, save them for dry days! Mud/dirt/dirty water droplets are bar far the biggest offender I’ve come across — far bigger than blood or food or coffee. 
   
   

4. Be strategic with your outerwear/layers.
   If you’re going to wear a coat, wear a coat that covers your ass vs. a jacket that does not! This will come in handy when you’re, say, sitting on a park bench. 
   
   I know that Jean Wang of the blog Extra Petite once suggested tying a lightweight jacket around your waist before sitting on a park bench or outdoor cafe, a tip that I’ve never personally used, but that seems like it would work. You could also set down an inexpensive blanket/scarf or something to that effect. 
   
   

5. Put napkins on your lap when you’re eating. 
   This one is so simple but really does make a difference. And don’t just put one tiny napkin on your lap; open a few and spread them out a bit. 
   
   

6. Actually look at your clothes after you take them off/before washing them.
   I don’t bust out a magnifying glass to inspect every item I own after I wear it, but I do do a quick scan after I take something off, before I wash it, and/or before I wear it again without washing it first. In my experience, most stains or just general clothing grossness happens without my even realizing it, especially in spots that are hard to see when the clothes are on your body. (The waistband of jeans/pants and then the first few inches of the hem are the two prime spots, in my experience.)
   
   If you don’t realize the stains are there, you’re likely to skip treating them before you do laundry, and then toss the item in the dryer, thus baking the stain in for good. So making a point to handle and look over your clothes for an extra 10 seconds goes a long way. 
   
   

7. Be aware of your body in space.
   This one is harder to explain, or perhaps to train yourself to do, but I feel fairly aware of what I’m doing with my body when I’m wearing white. So that means I do things like…
   
   - Sitting close enough to a table where I’m eating, so that less of my bottom half/lap is exposed 
   - Carrying my mug of coffee at a slightly larger distance from my body than I would otherwise, so that if it does slosh over the side, it’s less likely to land on me/my clothes
   - Avoiding overfilling mugs of coffee/tea
   - Slowing down when I’m turning a corner, to give other people time to see me
   - Looking at seats/surfaces before I sit on them to make sure they are clean
   - Paying attention to what I’m eating/drinking while I’m consuming it (i.e., I try not to consume while super distracted by a book or a coffee)
   
   This stuff may seem overly fussy, but I think it’s pretty imperceptible to other people, and it probably makes the biggest difference. It’s also not like I’m constantly weighed down by thoughts about this stuff; a lot of it is just second-nature now, and even when it wasn’t, I didn’t find it stressful or tiring.  
   
   

8. Use a period tracker app. 
   Many a human who bleeds regularly (or irregularly) has asked me how I deal with my period and white clothes. The biggest thing I do is track my periods. Of course, it’s not a perfect science, but it does at least tell me generally when to expect it, which then means I can plan accordingly. In this case, plan accordingly might actually mean “wear a pad just in case” which is fine — I’d much rather do that than ruin my favorite white dress. 
   
   I also don’t mind using a pad as a backup when wearing a tampon on some days, and on more than one occasion, I’ve been glad that I did. 
   
   

9. Wear an apron.
   I’ve preferred cooking in an apron for years; to me, it’s just more comfortable and practical than not. (And aprons typically have pockets!!) I will also put an apron on when doing dishes after a meal, or when mixing drinks — activities that have a fairly high potential for splashing/staining.
   
   

10. Treat stains right away, and treat them often.
    I’m pretty dogged when it comes to getting stains out. (Related: my two favorite stain removers.) One example: Last fall, I went to a work event where we were given red “admit one” drink tickets. I left one in the back pocket of my white Levi’s, and then later put the jeans through the wash. When I pulled the jeans out of the washing machine, it looked like a tube of lipstick had been smashed in the pocket. Levi’s had stopped selling the jeans (and they were fairly expensive to begin with) so I extra committed to getting the stain out. It took a couple weeks of a cycle of treating the spot, letting the treatment sit, and washing the jeans in cold water before the stain finally let up enough to be able to wear them again. (I actually gave up when it was about 90% there, and it surprised me by coming the final 10% of the way in the subsequent weeks.) 
    
    Getting a stain out of fabric is sort of a fun challenge to me at this point, but I actually don’t think you need to be that aggressive about stains (more on that in a second). That said, I think a lot of people don’t try very hard, or at all — they toss the item in the laundry and wash it with hot water without treating it first, or they give the stain a bunch of time to set before they bother treating it, and then feel like, Welp, I just suck at laundry and wearing white. So I think it’s important to know how to treat stains and to own the tools to do so. Treat them as well as you can, as soon as you can, and give it your best shot.
    
     

11. But also…make peace with stains!
    I long ago just sort of accepted that spills and stains are a part of life, and that trying to prevent them or remove every trace of them is an exercise in futility. That’s why I eventually gave up when the Levi’s were most of the way there; the main reason I kept at it in that case was that the pants were pretty unwearable, and I want to avoid getting rid of/replacing stuff as much as possible. 
    
    That said, I don’t really take stains personally, and I think that’s important. Spilling something on yourself doesn’t make you clumsy or “not an adult,” and wearing something that has a spot on it isn’t that big of a deal. I know this because I continue to wear clothes that have tiny spots/stains that I am very aware of, and people still always ask me how I keep my white stuff so clean.
    

I’ll leave you with some advice from Cheryl Mendelson, who offered advice in Home Comforts that I’ve really taken to heart: “If a beautiful object has a tiny flaw, some people do not notice it and others notice nothing else. In dealing with stains, the most important skill you can acquire is the ability not to be bothered by small imperfections that you cannot fix. … Stains are not dirt; they are inadvertent dyeings. While dirt should continue to arouse your fighting spirit, it is perfectly all right to surrender to insignificant stains.” ✨

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An ode to my two favorite stain removers

Look, I’m not trying to make enemies in the laundry industry, but when it comes to stain treatment, I think T*de pens are very much a scam. As my coworker recently said, they offer the illusion of preparedness, and not much else. As a lover of white clothes and bedding, I swear by two other products: OxiClean stain remover spray and Spray ‘n Wash sticks.

I have only had a handful of Major Incidents with regard to white fabric. The fist time it happened, I had just gotten brand-new white flannel sheets and a cozy white cotton blanket for my bed. Washing all of these items before using them is a task in NYC, and I was thrilled to finally have them on my bed because my apartment was very cold.

The first night I slept on them, I woke up feeling great. And also like my face was…wet? I was sitting up in bed when I touched my nose, and then looked down at my hand and realized I had my first-ever bloody nose. A beat later, basically in slow motion, I watched big, fat crimson blood drops fall from my face and land on the fitted sheet, top sheet, and blanket. Every single component of the bedding was hit.

Luckily enough, I had just read Home Comforts, where I had learned that you should use an enzyme-based cleaner on organic and protein-based stains, and I had — after realizing that I didn’t own an enzyme cleaner — ordered some OxiClean spray, which was now sitting in my closet. So I stripped my bed, while feeling pretty certain that my sheets and blanket were going to be forever marred by this. I made peace with that, but I treated them with the Oxi, let them soak in cold water, and then rinsed them… and the stains completely disappeared. 

I was sold.

The second Major Incident happened at work. A visitor to the BuzzFeed office got in the down elevator with me on the 16th floor; she was carrying a lidless travel cup of coffee, and when the elevator stopped on my floor, she thought we had reached the lobby. She stepped out, realized her mistake, went to turn around to get back on the elevator, and was startled by my presence right behind her. She jolted, THROWING her coffee all over my white jeans in the process.

Looking at the fist-sized stain on my thigh, I knew what I had to do: marched to the CVS across the street from my office, bought a big bottle of Oxi spray, went to the single-stall bathroom, stripped off my Bean boots, the socks my jeans were tucked into, and jeans; treated the stain with the Oxi; and then rinsed everything out in the sink. Despite the fact that my jeans were very wet — it looked like I’d pissed myself — the stain was basically gone.

So, yes, I’m an OxiClean stan; it works great for everything, generally speaking. However, I’ve recently added the Spray ‘n Wash stick to my toolkit; I discovered it via my girlfriend, and was pleasantly surprised by how effective it is. It even got a faint coffee stain that was years old and that I’d simply given up on out of a beloved white dress. I’ve used it on other smaller stains (grease, food, even other blood drops) and it’s worked well every time.

I now go between the two, depending on the stain, and strongly recommend having both around! The Spray ‘n Wash is small and won’t leak — despite the name, it’s not a spray at all, but a waxy deodorant-esque stick ‚ so it’s a good one to keep it in your desk/bag/locker. (I’ve also used the OxiClean gel stick, and while I think it’s fine, I ultimately prefer the spray…but to each their own!)

Regardless of which you choose, you can definitely be done with T*de pens once and for all.

Get everything from Amazon: a pack of three Spray ‘n Wash sticks for $10.86, a three-pack of OxiClean spray for $16.90, and Home Comforts for $13.59.

Related: How to wear white clothes year-round without completely ruining them. 💦

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cozy :) house :) shoes :)

If you want to feel extra cozy when tooling around town or doing chores at home, might I suggest these cozy shearling slip-ons? They are vegan, come in black shearling, and cost $12.50 at Wal-mart (on sale from $35).

I feel like they’re good for anyone who loves Jenni Kayne but doesn’t have Jenni Kayne money.

@nickisebastian via @jennikayne

@nickisebastian via @jennikayne

@laylaygibson via @jennikayne

Speaking of my clog wishlist, I’m very into these muted Birks, and I love these Calzuro clogs for summer! (While this look isn’t my personal style, it’s very cute.) ☁️

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The girlfriend hoodie

My girlfriend, her hoodie, and my dog

It’s cozy season, so it seems like a good time to plug the Gap Vintage Soft Carbonized Pullover Hoodie, which I’m a big fan of. It’s super soft and just the right weight; the creamy color is perfect; the fit is great (not too baggy/bulky, but not too slim either); it’s held up well in the wash; and it looks fairly polished. I am not really a hoodie person, but I love this sweatshirt.

It’s technically a men’s hoodie—my friend Devin owns two in black (“and that’s not even enough” he told me), and it looks great on him too. But my girlfriend was actually the one who first discovered it; she bought it for herself right before Valentine’s Day last year…in part, she said, because she knew I’d like it on her. She was right; I liked it so much that I bought one for myself! We now have four of them between us. (There was a sale, and having a backup of a beloved item is just practical!!!) My favorite way to wear it is with white Lou & Grey soft pants and cozy socks, or with white or blue Levi’s. 

Thinking about this hoodie, the other clothes I’ve discovered via my girlfriend, and the items from the men’s department that I own and love, I was reminded of the 2016 Racked article “The Presumptions of ‘Boyfriend’ Clothes”:

“The idea that men and women are supposed to be certain sizes in relation and proportion to one another is reinforced by boyfriend clothing. Images of heterosexual relationships almost invariably show a woman so small she is swallowed up by her boyfriend’s clothes. All my life I’ve worked to shake the idea that my relationships don’t count because they have not looked like this. But what the boyfriend shirt is selling is that very idea, love defined by comparative body size.

Women wear, and always have worn, masculine clothing for myriad reasons, reasons to do with identity and reasons that have nothing to do with identity, reasons to do with gender and reasons that have nothing to do with gender, and reasons to do with the fact the men’s clothes have pockets far more often than women’s clothes do. I might buy a men’s shirt for a million reasons that have nothing to do with a man.”

Buy it for yourself, your girlfriend, your boyfriend, or your partner from Gap for $35. (Available in sizes XS-XXXL and eight different colors; for reference, I own the size small.)

Related: Hanes tees and girlfriend shorts. ✨

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The gold hoop earrings I wear every day

Image: Catbird

I spent a not-insignificant amount of time last fall looking for a new pair of earrings. I wanted wear-them-literally-every-day earrings (you know I’m not one for variety) because the pair I had been wearing for the past six years was feeling a bit tired/dated.

I was strictly looking for studs, but eventually started considering hoops, though I kept balking every time I’d try a pair on — because when you only wear studs, hoops will leave you feeling wildly overdressed. I looked at several different brands, clicked on every Instagram jewelry ad I got (there were many), and checked in with Catbird periodically to see if they had anything that felt right.

After a couple months of this, I was delighted to discover that Catbird was selling whisper thin tiny gold hoops ($88 for the pair). I went to the store to check them out and was thrilled to realize they were exactly what I had been looking for. Most small hoops are very chunky, but these aren’t; they are super subtle, and their texture makes them catch the light and sparkle. So…done! Sold!

While I was there, I started looking at all the other earrings, and lamented the fact that my second piercings had not been operational since...I literally could not recall? (Fun fact: I also used to have my cartilage pierced and my nose pierced!) On a whim, I decided to see if I could put an earring in the second hole, which honestly could have gone very badly, but it...worked????? My holes had not closed after all???? So I now also have a set of teeny diamond studs ($98 each) that I wear in my second piercings.

Image: Catbird

Image: Catbird

I have worn this combination of earrings basically every waking hour ever since, and I like them so much. They work with literally everything. The studs give the hoops a little extra sparkle. The hoops are a bit hard to put on/take off at first, but once you get used to them, they’re fine, and they feel very secure. 

The Catbird hoops turned out to be kind of a gateway drug; I started experimenting with some other hoops in different sizes, so I have some additional recs for you!

• I found a pair of gold hoops on Amazon that come in a bunch of sizes and are great if you prefer thin hoops. I got the 16mm pair ($26) when I decided to dip my toe into the bigger hoops pool, and I like them a lot. The 10mm ones ($20) would probably make for a pretty good Catbird knockoff, though I don’t know that they’ll hold up super well over time...but if you liked that size/general idea, you could always upgrade later.

• I have Mejuri’s Between Hoops ($65), which are very similar to the style from Amazon but are sliiiightly (but noticeably!) thicker, and much higher quality. 

• My gf has Catbird’s and gold Ear Nut earrings ($66 each), which are very pretty and sort of mimic the look of a double piercing.

• I loved these Wolf Circus hoops — again, I’ve come along way with regard to earring size in the past year — but they are no longer available. I was on the lookout for a similar pair for a while, and recently decided to try Mejuri’s Idol Earrings ($69). The Mejuri ones aren’t quite as cool but I like them a lot! I wear them when I want something to make me look more pulled-together/Dressed (most often with this navy turtleneck).

• I don’t own these Mejuri Crescent Midi Hoops ($65) but I like them a lot! ✨

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I’m currently very into Tessa clogs

Earlier this summer, I spent a not-small amount of time looking for the perfect clogs. I still like/wear the pair of Hasbeens I bought on sale last summer, but I was on the hunt for a slip-on clog with a slightly lower heel and minimal hardware in a neutral color that was not black. My girlfriend also wanted a pair of clogs (she had slightly different — but no less fussy — requirements), and, well, the next thing I knew, I was 75 tabs deep in clog round-ups/options!

I like clogs for a lot of reasons. Similar to a jumpsuit, clogs make you look put-together while also being very easy/comfortable. I bought my Hasbeens because I wanted a comfortable closed-toe summer shoe, but I also appreciate that you can add socks and wear them in colder months. I’ve also been slowly phasing out my skinny jeans, and clogs are a good shoe for straighter/wider leg pants. And if you, like me, prefer to be this person instead of tying/untying your shoes, well…clogs are great in that regard, too!

During my search, I looked at No. 06, Bryr, Rachel Comey (which is the brand Aidy Bryant wore on Shrill), Charlotte Stone, Beklina, Hasbeens, Sandgrens, Lotta from Stockholm, and Madewell. While I found some good contenders, nothing was quite it. I loved the No. 06 in clover green for fall and the Bryr in Pacific gray and natural, but I really balked at the price.

Then, deep in my twentieth Strategist article, I came across a single link to Tessa Clogs. The Tessa website is A Lot, but the plain traditional heel ($84.95 + ~$15 shipping) is a good place to start — that’s actually what my girlfriend and I both ended up buying. I went with the denim blue, which reads as sort of a soft black/grayish navy in person, and she got the black, which is classic and lovely IRL.

Even though I wish Tessa had the color offering of No. 06 or Bryr, I love that the plain low heel clogs are super customizable (and are considerably less expensive than the other brands). You can choose from three sole colors and order them with or without a strap/snap, and with or without an edge band. (For reference, these clogs have a raw edge; mine don’t — they have an edge band.)

The website isn’t the easiest to navigate, but they have very good/responsive customer service. I emailed them to ask a bunch of questions, and they were great. They mailed me a (clog-shaped!!) swatch so I could be 100% sure on the color before I ordered, which was super helpful. My girlfriend’s clogs turned out to be a little too roomy across the top of her foot (i.e., they fit length-wise, but they weren’t snug enough to stay on her foot) and they let her ship them back so they could adjust the fit.

Anyway, if you’re in the market for clogs, Tessa clogs are very good! I like mine a lot and will probably buy another pair at some point soon.

Further clog-related reading:

• The Life-Changing Magic of Clogs, The New Yorker.

• In Praise of an Aggressively Unfashionable Shoe, The New York Times.

• The New Mom Uniform of Park Slope, The New York Times.

• Also, while working on this post, I fell down an ABBA rabbit hole because I was trying to find something to back up the claim that ABBA popularized clogs in the US in the ‘70s. I couldn’t find that, but I did find an article that says that ABBA’s costumes were designed to help them avoid paying taxes!

• Why is No. 06 stepping on my neck like this??? ✨

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I just love these Hanes tees

Earlier this month, I bought a long-sleeved T-shirt from the Brooklyn Museum gift shop. I like the design of the shirt just fine (it’s purple with bright orange text on the sleeves and back), but I love the shirt itself. It’s soft and lightweight and so comfortable; even when it was brand-new, it felt broken in. It’s the perfect weight for summer (particularly summer evenings, and/or when the AC is a tad too cold).

The Brooklyn Museum tee

After wearing it constantly for a few weeks, I decided to see who made it because I was hoping to buy some plain ones in other colors. I was expecting it to be from some bougie wholesale T-shirt brand, but it turns out, it’s just a Hanes!

More specifically, it’s a Hanes ComfortWash, and it’s available in a bunch of different shirt styles and colors, and sizes S-5XL. I immediately ordered a bunch of the long-sleeved tees (regularly $18, but they have been on sale for $9 for the past week or so) and a couple of short-sleeved tees (regularly $14, currently on sale for $7, but $4 when I bought mine). You can also sign up for Hanes emails and receive a coupon for $10 off a $50 purchase, bringing the total price down even further.

I bought white, soothing blue, saltwater, and summer squash, and my girlfriend got lavender, black, white, and cypress green, and we both opted for size small. (By the way, the colors are considerably softer and more muted IRL than they look in these photos — the green, yellow, and blues are extremely “your Real Simple–reading mom’s living room decorated via the beach/boat aisle at Home Goods,” which is obviously a good thing.)

The shirts are so comfy and easy (and 100% cotton!), the fit is nice without being, like, T-shirts—For Her™ (you know what I mean???), and the colors are lovely. If you need a grown-ass T-shirt to wear with your grown-ass shorts, I highly recommend! ✨

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Just good shorts

Image: Gap

I am not, in general, a big fan of wearing shorts. I have a singular pair from Nordstrom Rack that I bought in 2015 and will wear until they are threadbare, and I found a style at J. Crew Factory in 2016 that I like/wear quite a bit (both here). But in general, shorts are not my fave garment.

But last summer, Terri came to work a few times in white shorts that I loved. Every time she wore them, I would think, Wow, those seem like the perfect shorts! Eventually, I just decided to try them for myself.

The shorts are, to be exact, the Gap 5” Girlfriend¹ chino shorts and they are great. I bought them in a couple of colors (white and anchorage cream) and I love them. They are short without being short²; casual, but still tailored enough to look nice; practical without being frumpy; and available in several colors. I’m extremely here for comfortable, practical shorts for grown-ass women who semi care about looking nice. Just good shorts!

Get them from Gap for $34 (currently on sale). (They are available in seven colors + three stripes versions and sizes 00-20; tall and petite options are also available up to size 16.) ✨

¹ The “girlfriend” label makes me think of this 2016 Racked article on the problems with the “boyfriend” clothing trend.

² My other tip for buying shorts is to pay close attention to the inseam lengths. I won’t go longer than 5 inches or shorter than 4 inches. While it bums me out to dismiss the (extremely common!!!) 3 inchers entirely, I know I won’t be comfortable in them. Anyway, figuring out your preferred inseam length can definitely save you some time when you’re shorts shopping online.

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