One year of knitting

Jan 2, 2021

This month marks my one-year anniversary of learning to knit, and it’s exciting to look back and see how far I’ve come. I love having hobbies, but knitting has definitely been one of the harder ones. It has a steep learning curve, so it’s easy to get discouraged and give up early on (or…at any point, really). It was even harder to learn to knit at home without any in-person instruction, which would have, I think, changed everything. That said, with enough trial and error, willingness to start over, and good old-fashioned practice (annoying, I know!), I’ve been able to finish several projects and can now confidently call myself a competent knitter.

Here’s everything I used to learn to knit, the projects I completed this year, my favorite tools, some tips I wish I’d known sooner, and my knitting goals for 2022.

How I learned to knit

My girlfriend and I both wanted to learn to knit, and she went first, with me a week or so behind her. We both used my friend Alanna’s book, How to Knit a Hat (also on Bookshop, but currently sold out), plus YouTube videos (which is something Alanna suggests doing in the book). Because my gf started before I did, I was able to get help from her, whereas she fully taught herself without anyone else to show her.

We both finished the hat and then moved on to other projects.

Completed knitting projects 2021

Novice sweater

Knitting a whole-ass sweater felt like a huge step up after just doing a hat, and yet…it was the perfect step up! On my first attempt, I misread a step fairly early on in the pattern (it involved the increases at the yoke, and where you should start measuring the overall length) and didn’t really see a way to undo it. So I just started over! I remember being super bummed at the time, but it taught me an important lesson: that it’s often way easier to just start over, and that projects almost always look considerably better the second time around, even if it’s just redoing a cast-on or a cuff.

I don’t remember everything I worked on right after this one, but I know I attempted a Wool & the Gang sweater (the pattern is definitely not that hard, but I think I had problems because my yarn wasn’t quite the right weight and I was going off script in other ways, which was a bad idea); at least one hat; and a second novice sweater holding three strands of yarn in three different colors. None of these worked out, which was honestly fine! I’ve found I’m more of a “knitting is a journey, not a destination” knitter, and it was helpful to just practice, to get better at reading patterns (one of the hardest parts of knitting tbh), and to get practice buying yarn and needles and making sense of how they felt in my hands.

Lucky dog sweater

The next project I (technically) completed was a dog sweater from Purl Soho. It was way, way harder than I expected, or than a dog sweater has any right to be. It involved a ton of short rows using the wrap-and-turn technique, which is annoying…but it turned out to be great, in a way, because it was a small project and the instructions were well-written compared to most patterns that utilize short rows. I also really liked the Lion Brand Yarn Wool-Ease Thick and Quick yarn; this color is Coney Island, but I also bought it in Dreamcatcher, which I used on a bunch of the projects I didn’t finish around this time. It’s fairly inexpensive but feels nice in your hands, is super easy to knit with, and always a lot better than I expect it to.

I worked so hard on this sweater and all its fiddly little short rows, only to put it on Chuck and realize it didn’t fit quite right (it was too long in the neck). He made it very clear how much he hated wearing it, so I didn’t bother to fix it/redo it.

Junior novice sweater

After a longish break (vaccinated summer was…not the knitting zone), we got back into knitting again in August. I had a couple projects going around this time, but this is the first one I finished. And this one convinced me that the way to get better at knitting and actually finish projects (which helps you stay motivated) is to knit items for babies/children. This sweater, which I knit for my friend Julia’s daughter’s first birthday in October, utilizes literally the exact same techniques as the adult novice sweater, but it went so much faster. As part of the birthday gift, my gf knit the adult version for Julia so they had matching ones.

We used Berocco Ultra Alpaca Chunky yarn for both of these, a brand/weight that has become one of my favorites.

I actually knit this one from beginning to end twice! The first version, which I was thinking of as a prototype since I wasn’t going to be able to try it on the baby first, didn’t fit — the neck was too tight, and that wasn’t really something I could fix. So I just redid it and, again, didn’t regret that at all; it looked better the second time, and it was a quick enough project that I didn’t feel too precious about it, or like I’d wasted a ton of time.

This is the first project I knit swatches for; I learned that I knit very tight and need to make adjustments to patterns accordingly. It’s also the first project that I blocked, a step that I now love and swear by.

Bulky dog turtleneck sweater

This is another dog sweater that calls for a very fussy technique; in this case, it was the i-cord cast-on that took like a year off my life, and for no good reason — he’s a dog, he doesn’t need a fancy cast-on! But I’d prefer to learn on a dog sweater than a human sweater.

(BTW, this is that Lion Brand Wool Ease yarn again; this time, the color is Fairy.)

This entire sweater is supposed to be ribbed, but I decided to just do the neck ribbing and then knit the rest, and I’m glad I did. He doesn’t love the finished sweater, and ribbing the whole thing just…would not have been worth the extra time it would have taken.

Aftenstocking

At the beginning of 2021, my girlfriend and I made one resolution: To be able to knit these stockings by Christmastime. At the time, it felt impossible. Come fall, it felt….very doable, but then it turned out to be kind of a pain in the ass! I think it was because of how the pattern is written, the fact that you need very small circular needles to start, and the fact that using short rows to make a heel is just…an endeavor.

It took me so long to figure out the heel turn (I redid it at least four times, probably more?) and when I finally got it right and then finished the whole stocking, it looked…bad. Why was the toe SO STUMPY???

I still don’t know!! But through the miracle of blocking and then felting — which happened at midnight on Christmas Eve lolsob — the stocking actually ended up looking pretty good.

And with that, my first year of knitting came to an end! There was one more big sweater that I started in September that I thought I’d be able to finish by the end of the year. In the end, I got slowed down because I had to learn new techniques (like sewing on sleeves) and because of some annoying/avoidable mistakes (e.g., using the wrong size needles on the sleeves, which meant they were too small). I finally made it to the home stretch, but I’m having a terrible time picking up the stitches for the neckline, so I’ve set it aside and will go back to it later. I was sick of it and needed a break.

Tools

There are so, so many tools for knitters and it’s impossible to list all my favorites (and it’s so personal anyway), but there are a few that really made a difference this year:

Bags within bags

I swear by my Baggu baby bag + smaller individual zipper bags. Also, you won’t regret having tiny scissors and a tiny tape measure in your bag.

Plastic stitch markers

I think my girlfriend bought this case of colorful plastic stitch markers ($8.99 from Amazon) very early on in our knitting journey, and they are one of our most-used and most-loved items. I’ve tried some others in the time since, and honestly, the hot Cocoknits brass ones have nothing on these plastic ones. Truly an MVP.

A stitch counter

I finally bought myself a knitting counter this fall, and I don’t know what took me so long! (I was marking down a tally with a pencil and paper this whole time.) I really like the $9 metal one I have, and my girlfriend loves the $9 Clover one. (Hers makes the most satisfying sound every time she advances it.) I’ve also been experimenting with counting apps; sometimes you need to have two counters going at once, and an app is really helpful for that. I downloaded a bunch of different ones to try, and Count That Now is my favorite.

A knitting notebook

Another major “What took me so long?” addition to my life. More here.

A few tips I swear by

IG: @kiyanaknits

In no particular order, here are some of the things I wish I’d known/really understood as a beginner.

• You have to like the yarn you’re using! You definitely don’t need fancy yarn, especially when you’re starting out, but you should really like looking at it (because you’re going to be stuck with it for a while). If you’ve done a few rows and are asking yourself the whole time if you really like the color or are already regretting choosing it, just stop and start over with a different color.

• I have really never regretted starting something over when I realized I’ve made a mistake or something is looking loose/bad/etc. Pretty much everything looks better on a second pass. 

• If something isn’t looking good and you’re stressed about it, put it away for a while and come back to it. Most things look better with fresh eyes/once you’ve zoomed out and are looking at the entire project. And if they still look bad, well, see above tip about starting over.

• A lot of surface mistakes can be “fixed in post” — aka when you’re all done. For example, blocking solves a huge amount of problems (e.g., you’ve got some stitches that are looking a little funky), and underarm holes can easily be sewn together when you’re done.

• Knitting slower and reading the patterns slower would have solved like 75% of my knitting problems in the past year.

• My girlfriend and I store all of our knitting patterns in a shared Google Drive folder so we can easily find them/re-print them later. We both always work from a printed pattern, but sometimes it’s nice to be able to pull up the pattern on your phone when you’re in a store, or look up a specific instruction on your phone if the pattern is kind of out of reach.

• Most local knitting stores have some form of IRL classes/office hours/etc. where you can get personalized help and ask questions about your projects. (So, for example, if it had been safe to go IRL in December, I would have definitely done that for the stocking heel trouble I was having.)

• If you find a YouTube tutorial you really like, save it to a playlist! You’ll probably need to reference it again in the future, and not all YouTube tutorials are created equal.

• Take more notes than you think you’ll need to; you won’t remember things as well as you think you will, not even the things that are giving you a ton of grief.

• Yarn is a great souvenir! During the trips my girlfriend and I took this fall, we found yarn stores and picked out yarn as a special souvenir from the trip.

2022 knitting goals

IG: @kiyanaknits

Heading into the new year, here are my big knitting goals:

Learn to knit continental. I think this style of knitting will allow me to knit a lot faster and more comfortably. I’ve actually already started learning and it turned out to be…a lot easier than I expected? I think it’s also helping me adjust my tension/make up for the fact that I’m knitting too tight, which is something I really needed to correct, so I’m thrilled.

Knit with blocks of color. This is this year’s stocking goal, aka a goal my girlfriend and I both want to do. This might look like intarsia or a Fair Isle…we’ll see! For me, this is very much a Q4 goal.

Knit an object of some sort. I recently discovered the big world of knit animals, and realized there are tons of other non-clothing items one can knit (like Christmas decorations or vegetables). I think this is going to be something I really enjoy — it has the “you can complete a whole project faster” effect you get with kids’ clothes, but is more immediately useful to me personally. I actually impulse-knit a bird today, so technically I can already cross this goal off already, but I want to properly invest in it and get good enough at it to be able gift things (or at least decorate my Christmas tree).

Annnd that’s a wrap on my first year of knitting! I was going to say something here about how it’s been really good for my mental health, a nice alternative to looking my phone and a good thing to do when you’re feeling anxious… but the reality is that I regularly declare that I hate it, and my girlfriend and I reference this TikTok all the time when we’re knitting. So ya know… it has its moments. 🧶

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Just Good Shit: 01.16.22

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

Hi! Here’s what I’ve been up to this week…

Reading

Back To Normal Isn’t Enough, Defector.

What to do if you've got covid, Calm Covid.
Really enjoying this newsletter!

Calling Omicron ‘Mild’ Is Wishful Thinking, The Atlantic.

The Real Reason Americans Aren’t Isolating, The Atlantic.

One-Way Masking Works, The Atlantic.

The Agony of Parents With Kids Under 5, Slate.

I’m a Longtime Union Organizer. But I Had Never Seen Anything Like This., NYT. (gift link)

Kyrsten Sinema’s opposition to filibuster reform rests on a myth, Vox.

Hanya’s Boys, Vulture.

6 Ways Fitness Instructors Can Check Their Anti-Fat Bias, SELF.

A Survival Expert Breaks Down the Yellowjackets’ Best and Worst Decisions, Vulture.

Colors: Where did they go? An investigation., Vox.

A Rio Grande Valley Woman Just Broke the U.S. Record for Most Birds Spotted in a Year, Texas Monthly.

They bought a blender. Three weeks later, their cats continue to hold it hostage., Washington Post.

Watching & listening to

Yellowjackets. Drag Race Season 14. “For the Birds,” a very good Radiolab episode. (It really picks up in the second act.) The excellent Holly Madison episode of Power. And a segment from an old episode of Bitch Sesh, in which the hosts read aloud a series of dramatic and chaotic (real-life!) emails from a group of very intense parents planning a teacher appreciation luncheon. (It starts around 11:14 and ends at 36:00 and I’ve listened to it three times in the past week. I just put it on again.)

Have a good week! ✨

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Just Good Shit: 01.09.22

My girlfriend & Chuck having a cozy one

Hello and happy (?????) new year! I had a lovely holiday and then spent this week feeling really crappy due to cold/allergy-like symptoms that are not covid (according to one negative PCR and five negative rapid tests). I’m very bummed, as January is one of my favorite months and I feel very motivated to organize, decorate, and hunker down with some new hobbies. We had big plans to go to Prospect Park this weekend and look at birds, and instead I spent the weekend on the couch taking Sudafed.

Here’s what else I’ve had going on…

Writing

• You might get a breakthrough case of Covid-19 this winter. Here’s how to prepare.

• The best things I read in 2021

• My knitting notebook

Reading

America Quits the Fight Against Covid, The New Republic.

Who Gets the Blame When Schools Shut Down, The New Yorker.

Omicron Is Our Past Pandemic Mistakes on Fast-Forward, The Atlantic.

“If you're going to trust anyone to know the real cost of #COVID19 in terms of deaths, trust life insurance companies.”

Seriously, Upgrade Your Face Mask, NY Mag.
I really like the Harley N95, available from Bona Fide Mask (currently $45 for a box of 20).

Don’t Be Too Cavalier About Omicron — Long Covid Is Still a Real Risk, Rolling Stone.

How to Stay Safe if You’re Trapped in Your Car During a Snowstorm, NYT.

Shoe Obsession for the Ages: Prince’s Killer Collection of Custom Heels, Now on View, NYT.

The 2021 Audubon Photography Awards: Top 100, Audubon.

Entertainment

I’ve been watching Yellowjackets, How To with John Wilson, and Selling Tampa; knitting; watching Rajiv Surendra DIY videos on YouTube (start with his house tour); listening to Like a Virgin; and playing Parks (a Christmas gift from my gf — it’s so gentle and nice).

Have a good week! 🌨️

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My knitting notebook

One of the more useful things I did in the latter half of my first year of knitting was get a small notebook to dedicate to knitting projects. Knitting involves way more math and counting than I’d like it to, and I often found myself tallying counts on the printed pattern itself — which is fine, I guess, but not ideal, especially because my patterns tend to get really tattered while I’m working so they don’t serve as a great record of a project. I also wanted to better record details like the specific yarn and needles I was using and how long each project was taking me. So I finally got a little Rollbahn spiral notebook to keep in my knitting bag, and it’s changed my life.

I set up a table of contents on the first page, and have added page numbers to each subsequent page. Each project gets its own page (back and front). At the top of each project page, I write this:

Started:
Completed:
Yarn

Skeins:

Needles:

Below that, I write Notes: and then use the rest of the page to jot down anything that feels relevant; it might be the date I started a specific component (like a sleeve) or it might be a simple mistake or big source of frustration that I want to remember in case I redo the project later. (I’ve learned the hard way that I…will not remember these things as well as I think I will.) I’ve also been trying to note when I learn a new skill or technique — basically, instead of celebrating the total number of projects I do, I want to highlight all of the things I’m learning, even when I do a project that I don’t end up finishing or really liking.

It’s such a small, obvious thing but it’s been so helpful! 🧶

More journaling content that might be of interest: Starting a house journal, how to start and keep a journal during a pandemic (or any time of major upheaval), the Hobonichi Techo planner, and my book!

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The best things I read in 2021

Happy New Year’s Eve! If you’re planning a cozy night in — which I personally highly recommend — might I suggest reading (or re-reading) some really fantastic longreads from the past year?

Here are all of my faves from 2021, in no particular order:

The Only Strategy Left for Democrats, The Cut.
“Govern like you won, winners.” I think about this line…all the time.

The Road to Terfdom, Lux.

Airbnb Is Spending Millions of Dollars to Make Nightmares Go Away, Bloomberg.

The Pain Was Unbearable. So Why Did Doctors Turn Her Away?, Wired.

The Murders Down the Hall, NY Mag.

As a Black Man in America, I Feel Death Looming Every Day, NYT.

Britney Spears Was Never in Control, The Cut.

Lab-grown meat is supposed to be inevitable. The science tells a different story., The Counter.

On the Internet, We’re Always Famous, The New Yorker.

I Canceled My Birthday Party Because of Omicron, The Atlantic.

How Coffin Flop’s Coffins Got Flopped, Vulture.

It Is Unconscionable That The Gay Community Has Ostracized Me Simply Because I Was Born A Cop, Defector.

And the thing I’m personally most proud of from 2021: Shantay, You Pay: Inside the Heavy Financial Burden of Going On ‘Drag Race’. 🎆

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Just Good Shit: 12.20.21

Hi! This week’s post is late because I was watching Season 2 of 12 Dates of Christmas on HBO Max, a reality TV dating show that also happens to be my new favorite Christmas movie. It’s really light and fun, provides so much ridiculous Christmas/winter eye candy, and is very gay! (The first episode is available on YouTube if you don’t have HBO Max.) Watching it offered a much-needed respite from the terrible news and absolutely rotten vibe of this week.

Here’s what else I have for you…

My shit

• You might get a breakthrough case of Covid-19 this winter. Here’s how to prepare.

• Making the Yuletide Extremely Gay feat. Aubrey Gordon (new podcast ep)

And a couple of things from the archives that might be useful at this exact moment: Guidance for safer vaxxed gatherings (from September, so please err on the side of even more cautious/conservative), how to tell your family you aren’t coming home for the holidays this year, and what to do if you think your cousins might give grandma COVID this holiday (if you’re once again arguing with family, this time about things like taking rapid tests or canceling entirely).

Reading

I Canceled My Birthday Party Because of Omicron, The Atlantic.
“It is easy to despair, but we cannot afford the luxury of nihilism. ... The infectious nature of a virus means that a tiny bad decision can cause exponential harm, but also that a tiny wise decision can do exponential good.” This whole essay is so good.

What if the Flu isn’t “just the Flu?”, The Air Letter.
This is a sobering read. (Also: Please get your flu shot!)

I’m Staying Home for the Holidays Again This Year. Here’s Why., Self.

Why Can’t America Get Rapid Tests Right?, Slate.

The Abortion I Didn’t Have, NYT.

Please Stop Saying ‘Happy Holidays’ When You Mean ‘Merry Christmas’, Hey Alma.

Retailers say thefts are at crisis level. The numbers say otherwise, LA Times.

A parent and daughter battle over an elaborate Lego creation, The Washington Post.
“I am trying to be encouraging here, but I am incensed that you’re going to war with her joy, security and well-being over carpet-cleaning.”

What worries me about making a family into a brand, Mothers Under the Influence.

Ask a Cardiologist: Should Carrie Have Called 911?, Vulture.

Have a cozy and safe one. 🛷

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Just Good Shit: 12.12.21

Safely celebrating a winter birthday during a pandemic is not the easiest thing to do, but I’m pleased to say I made it work on Friday night for my girlfriend’s 30th! After I found out the hot tub boat I had been banking on left for Florida in November, I did a lot of research and eventually came across CityWell, which is basically an indoor/outdoor spa situation that you can book for private parties of up to 10 people. We utilized the outdoor aspect and had access to saunas, a hot tub, and a fire pit, which turned out to be a great jumping-off point for a “winter yeehaw” party. (Turns out, when you type “cowgirl bachelorette” into Etsy, you find a lot of good party stuff. Also, the airbrushed custom sweatshirts our guy Stephen at FreshAirShirts made were truly a work of art.) I also booked Miss Malice, a fantastic local drag performer, as a surprise. It was just a really special night all-around, and, in a huge surprise to me personally, I am pleased to announce that “I love hot tubs” is my new personality!

Now that the party is over (though not her official birthday — that’s on Wednesday), I’m excited to turn my focus to Christmas and New Year’s!

L train ornament from Craftspring

Speaking of, this list could use a 2021 update with some new items but I still love everything on it: Just a bunch of Christmas shit I’m into right now.

Here’s what else I had going on this week…

Reading

The Pandemic of the Vaccinated Is Here, The Atlantic.

Omicron won’t keep us from ending the pandemic. We’re doing that ourselves., Washington Post.

Dr. Michael Osterholm on why he predicts Omicron will beat out Delta in weeks., NY Mag.

When Couples Don’t Agree on the Vaccine, Men Yell at Me.

Who the pandemic’s next phase will hurt the most, Vox.

The other abortion battle, Dispatches and Notes.

The Supreme Court’s New Religious Liberty Case Could Destroy Public Education, Slate.

Law & Order Taught Americans to Root for the Police, Teen Vogue.

As a Black Man in America, I Feel Death Looming Every Day, NYT.
(gift link)

Long hours make bad neighbors, Vox.

Have a good night! 🤠

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Just Good Shit: 12.05.21

Hello there! It’s been a cozy one over here; we got our Christmas tree yesterday, and spent the weekend knitting, drinking the best hot chocolate, and watching Christmas movies. (Decorating is TK, as earlier tonight I took out all of the Christmas stuff and discovered I…got rid of all of our Christmas lights at the end of last year? And seemingly totally forgot about this????) I’ve also learned to plunk out (with my fingers on the correct keys, but plunking nonetheless!!) “Jingle Bells” and “O Come All Ye Faithful” on the piano, which I’m quite proud of, as I’ve only had three lessons so far.

Speaking of Christmas things: please check out @transanta and consider donating gifts to trans youths in need!

Here’s what else I had going on this week…

Reading

This Is How Roe Ends, NY Mag.

Cognitive Rehab: One Patient’s Painstaking Path Through Long Covid Therapy, NYT.
This is just…devastating.

Omicron’s Best- and Worst-Case Scenarios, The Atlantic.

Omicron Won’t Ruin Your Booster, The Atlantic.

Anti-vaxx Chronicles: This story was tough the first time we saw it, turns out it's even more brutal, Daily Kos.

“I had a Very Bad experience with @Hertz over Thanksgiving.”
Wild.

The End of Gendering Wine, Punch.

Here's Why Movie Dialogue Has Gotten More Difficult To Understand (And Three Ways To Fix It), Slash Film.

An Attempt to Make Sense of This Year’s Netflix Christmas Movies, Vulture.

Watching & listening to

I’m really enjoying the new podcast Like a Virgin. I’ve also watched a bunch of queer holiday romance movies for an upcoming episode of the podcast, as well as The Bitch Who Stole Christmas, which is so stupid in the best way.

Have a good night! 🌰

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Just Good Shit: 11.28.21

Happy Sunday night! My Thanksgiving week was great. The Baskin-Robbins turkey-shaped ice cream cake (which I ordered as a surprise for my gf) was a huge hit, and the rest of the food turned out really well. And the rest of the weekend was relaxing and cozy. Here’s what else I had going on…

My shit

• Good gift ideas for the person who is always tending to some little project

• Good gift ideas for the person whose taste is Herman Miller by day and Spencer’s Gifts by night

I was also a guest on the This Is Good For You podcast, talking about puzzles!

Reading

It's Time to Fear the Fungi, Wired.

Did Trans Activists Doxx J.K. Rowling?, Michael Hobbes.

Inside Felicia Sonmez’s Lawsuit Against the Washington Post, NY Mag.

Can You Take a Hint?, Texas Monthly.
Absolutely obsessed with every line of this old profile of Heloise.

The limitations of the 'sapphic anthem', NPR.

They Found a New Bird!, Slate.

What does an actor lose when their prosthetics become the star?, Vulture.

Inside Hidden Hills, Shangri-La to the Kanye Set, Vanity Fair.
Ended up on this 2017 article while watching Selling Sunset Season 4.

The determined thief, the cranberry usurper, and other work potlucks gone wrong, Ask a Manager.

Have a good one! 🌲

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Good gift ideas for the person whose taste is Herman Miller by day and Spencer’s Gifts by night

For the third year running, I am publishing a gift guide inspired by my girlfriend’s taste, and for the second year running, I’m just handing over the reins and letting her write it herself! You know your friend who has impeccable taste but who also, somewhat confoundingly, likes things that are so bad they’re good? That’s who this gift guide is for. And be sure to check out the 2019 and 2020 version too. –RWM ✨

I’m happy to be back with a new gift guide! This year’s influences include Spike Lee’s love of the New York Knicks, Dua Lipa’s cowgirl-themed music video for “Love Again,” and quite literally every single frame of At Home With Amy Sedaris. These gifts are for the person who fusses over small details and cares about quality, but who also likes kitsch and camp and the absurd. I won’t say this gift guide is only for gay people, but it’s definitely for gay people (and not just because it includes multiple carabiner recommendations).

An olive-garnished sweatsuit

My love for food-themed home decor extends into apparel as well, and this olive crewneck sweatshirt and sweatpants situation really hits the spot. Depending on your loved one’s climate, you could opt for the sweatpants or the sweatshorts. And if you want this look to be able to travel from the couch to running errands, then pairing it with the dirty martini baseball cap oughta do the trick.

Get them all from Wear Your Snacks (clothing runs S–XXL): Olive sweatshirt ($60), sweatpants ($70), sweatshorts ($60), socks ($15), and dirty martini hat ($28).

Hola Papi: How to Come Out in a Walmart Parking Lot and Other Life Lessons and some smiley-face bookmarks

JP Brammer — my top Twitter follow and author of my favorite newsletter, ¡Hola Papi! — just published his first book, and folks…it’s a banger. It’s sharp and kind and funny and moving in equal measure. Pair the book with some cute bookmarks, and you’ve got the perfect gift for the reader in your life. Get the book from Bookshop ($23.92) and get a set of 20 bookmarks from Brook Farm General Store ($12.50).

Jewelry for anyone

Apse BB ball bracelet

Perfect for layering and adding just a little something extra to your outfit. I’ve found that the sterling silver and gold filled bracelets pair nicely together. Get them from Apse for $50 each.

Apse initial necklace

A splurgy gift that you can personalize with their initial (or maybe your own? 🥰). Get it from Apse starting at $180.

Catbird initial charm and chain

If you like the idea of an initial necklace but want something a bit daintier, Catbird alphabet charms might be what you’re looking for. You can get just the letter charm for $44, or add on a chain (which starts at $148).

I ❤️ NY

In addition to food motifs, I unabashedly, unironically love New York City and New York paraphernalia. I’m not the only one, so if your loved one is also partial to Zizmorcore, they might like these items:

Standard Baggu: I Love New York

This bag is a workhorse. It holds far more than you’d expect it to, and then some, but it folds down flat, making it perfect for those days you find yourself suddenly and unexpectedly schlepping around the city. Get it from Baggu for $12.

NYC themed felted holiday ornaments

I audibly gasped the first time I saw these felted ornaments, and immediately bought a few as gifts and a few to keep. Get all of the ornaments from Craftspring: Metrocard ($22), holiday taxi ($24), and subway train ($24). (P.S. the subway train ornament comes in multiple styles, which means you can get the person you’re shopping for the train line that’s particularly meaningful to them.)

Susan Alexandra I Love NY card holder

I was gifted a trifold wallet nearly 10 years ago and only bothered to replace it once it became painfully evident that I was filling it to the brim with junk and then carrying that junk around with me everywhere I went. I recently swapped it for this beaded Susan Alexandra card holder, which can comfortably fit about five cards. I feel unencumbered! Get it from Susan Alexandra for $88.

A gift basket from Zabar's

This past year I discovered that Zabar’s will ship anywhere across the country, which meant I had discovered the perfect gift for friends who have left New York (or who simply want to live out their You’ve Got Mail dreams). You can mix and match items to create the perfect custom care package, but Zabar’s also has a wide variety of pre-bundled baskets with treats like black and white cookies, rugelach, babka, and lox, which is the route I usually take. They also sell mugs and T-shirts with their iconic logo, and whenever I wear the shirt or sip from the mug on Zoom calls, I end up getting compliments from my coworkers. Get them all from Zabar’s: Gift baskets (starting at $135), T-shirt ($9.98), and mug ($5.98).

Wooden bird tchotchkes

When Rachel and I visited Acadia, we stumbled across a wooden objects gift shop in downtown Bar Harbor that sold an astonishing amount of wooden birds — at scale!! I’m talking everything from a little chickadee to a giant pelican. We marveled and moved on without buying anything, but I found my mind wandering back to them each day, and by the end of the trip I had gone back and bought a couple of birds for our home as well as a few birds for friends. The craftsmanship of these hand-painted birds is really remarkable, and because they’re such beautiful little objects they make great bookshelf decorations. Get them from In The Woods starting from $39.

For their kitchen

Dusen Dusen oven mitts

It comes in three colorways, but my personal favorite is Berry. Get them from Coming Soon ($26).

Fruit and vegetable shaped kitchen timers

Everything’s better when it’s shaped like food, and these kitchen timers (which would make great stocking stuffers) are no exception. I own the corn timer, but I’ve got my eyes on the pear and the red pepper timers as well. Get them all from Amazon (from $4.65–$10.29).

A penguin sticker for your French press

I recommend Bodum’s French presses each year, and this year is no different — but, there’s a twist this time! You can convert your regular french press into a Penguin Press using this vinyl decal. The seller recommends pairing it with the Bodum Brazil 34 oz french press, which you can buy from Bodum for $19.99. Buy the sticker from Stuff by Andrew Neyer for $6.95.

Aarke Carbonator 3

This is on the pricier side, but it’s a great option if you really want to splurge on, say, your partner. My mom gifted me mine a couple years ago and I’ve never looked back; not only is the Aarke far more reliable than a SodaStream, but I actually like the way it looks on my counter top (the matte black finish is really chic). Get it from Aarke ($219) or Amazon ($164.25).

A hot carabiner

I am a lesbian, and this is my carabiner. If you’re like me and want something a little fancier than your local hardware store carabiner, then Japanese accessory maker Candy Design & Works has you covered. I opted for the Quincy ball-closure carabiner, but really agonized over my selection because there are plenty of other alternatives available that are equally as nice. Get them all from Hightide Store DTLA: Quincy ($30), Holger ($36), Delta ($38), and Gordon ($30).

Gifts you can customize

Vintage sports gear

I typically loathe gift guides that suggest items I can’t tap a link and immediately buy. But here I go, doing the thing I hate! Here’s the thing: Vintage sports merch is a great gift because it’s plentiful, relatively affordable (especially if you’re willing to do a tiny bit of digging), and can be selected to match your recipient’s tastes/preferences from team, sport, city, and/or school to specific article of clothing. There is no one link to recommend, because it really depends on who you’re shopping for.

My advice for finding great stuff on Ebay, Etsy, and Grailed is as follows: 80s and 90s merch is the absolute best, so include that in your search terms if you want to refine your results a bit; defunct team merch and retired styles/uniforms are especially fun (e.g., Seattle Sonics and The Mighty Ducks); teams that won titles, competed in significant tournaments, or even just competed against a major rival will likely have created merch specifically for that event, and it tends to be more exciting than your usual fare (e.g., The Rosebowl). I tend to opt for sweatshirts because they’ll usually give you more bang for your buck (and hold up better over time), but there might be a T-shirt that speaks to you. If you’re looking for hats, search for snapbacks specifically because you won’t have to worry about whether it’ll fit the recipient (and you’ll also have more luck finding brims with contrasting colors, which has a little more ✨razzle dazzle✨). One last thing to keep in mind is that vintage styles tend to run smaller — sellers will typically call this out in the listing, but always double check.

Airbrushed T-shirts

If you’d rather not try to hunt down the perfect vintage sportswear item, then I have an alternative for you: an airbrushed T-shirt from Etsy seller FreshAirShirts. My recommendation would be to use one of the sports T-shirts as a jumping off point and then customize it with your loved one’s favorite team’s colors and name. (That’s what Rachel did with the shirt pictured above, which also got me on the Jumbotron during the game!) This shop offers baseball, soccer, basketball, and football designs, but it’s also worth mentioning that an airbrushed T-shirt isn’t just a gift for a sports fan — it’s a gift for anyone who likes a dumb gag. Might I suggest the couples T-shirts, this shirt that just says “Mommy”, this cowboy hat-centric number, this covid cocktail (????), or this splurgier (lol) pet portrait as thought-starters? (And remember, you can get every shirt made in basically any color.) This seller is also super responsive and helpful when it comes to customizations, which means the only limitation is your own imagination. Get your shirts from FreshAirShirts (starting from $22.99).

Local business T-shirts

Restaurant and bar merch is a great way to support local businesses and show an interest in the restaurants your friends love the most. If you need some inspiration, The Cut curated some great NYC options and we gave some guidance on where to start last year, but really, if it looks like the store owner’s son-in-law’s first attempt at graphic design — in a good way, obviously! — you’re on the right track. My current favorite is the Ferrara “Holy Cannoli” T-shirt ($23).

New Balance 57/40s

The 57/40s are a more modern take on the classic 574s — they still get the job done, just with a little more flair. This particular style comes in a ton of colorways, but my favorites are “Black with pink lemonade,” “Light cliff grey with velocity red,” “Oyster pink with blue chill.” In my own experience, you don’t have to worry about rigidly adhering to men’s vs women’s shoes because the shoe is the same no matter what department you’re shopping in — just find the style you like, and then figure out what your appropriate size is. Get them from New Balance starting from $99.99.

Drag queen merch

Like wearing a band T-shirt, only gayer. I love this Sasha Velour T-shirt ($30), but you can find lots of other options on Drag Queen Merch dot com and My Best Judy Merch.

Stocking stuffers

Baby Baggu

This bag is the perfect size for my in-progress knitting projects, but it makes for a great running-errands-but-not-too-many–errands bag. I own the bag in lawnstripe and black & white cow, but it comes in a wide array of options so trust your gut on this one. Get them from Baggu for $10.

A tiny pet-sized cowboy hat

Give the gift of laughing at how truly ridiculous your pet looks cosplaying as a tiny sheriff. It’s got adjustable chinstraps so it’ll stay secure (much to your pet’s chagrin, I’m sure). Get it from Neon Cowboys for $15. 🤠

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Good gift ideas for the person who is always tending to some little project

Welcome to gift guide season 2021! I’m kicking things off with gifts for the person in your life who is always tending to something — maybe their newest hobby, or the planning doc for the next group trip, or a tomato plant (either real or in a video game). Lightly outdoorsy, but in a very at-home kind of way. Like a dad who is also a mom who is also a dad. This is the gift guide for people with taste that’s quite similar to mine, is what I’m saying.

P.S. Get more gift ideas for this type of person on the 2019 and 2020 version of this list.

Charles Viancin mug toppers

These were actually an impulse buy from a really great store in Bar Harbor, Maine, and they’ve turned out to be great. Basically you just set them on top of a mug to keep your hot beverage hot. They really work, and they are cute! I have the sunflowers (a set of two is $13.50 from Amazon) and I just discovered/ordered the tomato version.

Arts & Crafts T-shirt

For the person who is a jock in their own unique way. Available in sizes S–2XL; buy it from House of Dakh for $29.95.

A guide to local wildlife

This is actually what I got for my mom — who is famously hard to shop for — for Christmas last year, after I realized that she pays pretty close attention to the birds in the trees in her yard, as well as all the other wildlife. In her case, I went with Butterflies of Michigan, Mammals of Michigan, and Birds of Michigan, but you could easily tweak based on where the person lives. I personally own/love New York City Trees, and just last week, after way too much time on the Brooklyn Bird Alert Twitter account, bought Birds of New York Field Guide and Field Guide to the Neighborhood Birds of New York City.

A birdhouse/bird feeder

Speaking of local wildlife, this beautiful modern bird feeder would be a great way to turn the books into a bigger gift. This one is available in two color combinations; buy it for $75 from MoMa Design Store.

Hawkins NY sparkly sponges

These would make for a beautiful stocking stuffer or help round out a cookware-centric gift. Available in three different color sets; get a set of three from Hawkins New York for $6.

A steel toolbox in “the very best size”

If the Mx. Fix-It in your life doesn’t have a spot for their growing collection of tools (or craft/hobby supplies, or whatever), this extremely hot green one would be perfect. Get it from Garrett Wade for $64.55. Bonus pairing: A hot carabiner. Bonus to the bonus: A teeny tiny metal toolbox, which is the ideal place to store all your carabiners.

A solid beech craft storage box

If the person you’re shopping for has lots of little odds and ends — maybe they sew or knit — I’d recommend this beautiful solid-wood craft box, which is the sort of thing they’ll have/use forever. Get it from Garrett Wade for $179.

A gentle, nature-inspired game

I’ve been obsessed with/signing the praises of Wingpsan for the past month, and there are a lot of other options in this vein that are worth checking out:

• Mariposas, which focuses on butterflies and was designed by the same person who designed Wingspan. Buy it for $49.99 from Alderac Entertainment Store or $32.99 from Amazon.

• Parks, which is National Parks–themed and is on my personal wishlist this year. Get it from Keymaster Games for $49.

• Trails, a new game from the Parks team. Buy it for $19.99 from Keymaster Games.

• Arboretum, which challenges players to “create the most beautiful garden.” Buy it from Renegade Game Studios for $21.99 or from Amazon for $20.49.

• Point Salad, a drafting card game that centers on vegetables. Buy it from Alderac for $19.99 or Amazon for $16.99.

• And, finally, Wingspan! Buy it for $60 from Stonemaier Games or from Amazon.

Birkenstock Arizona shearling sandals

Sometimes I’m like “Hm, I can’t really think of anything I want for Christmas this year” and then later I’ll remember these exist. I’m a recent convert to Birks and these just look so luxurious and cozy. Get them for $150 from Urban Outfitters (also available in two other colors) and find some other color options at Birkenstock.

A monochromatic sweatsuit

To wear with a pair of New Balances and a baseball cap on Saturday morning trips to the library and local garden store. The sweatsuit above, which I have, is from Gap (the bottoms are on sale for $25 and the hoodie is on sale for $25, both available in sizes XS–XXXL). I also love the options from Aritizia, which come in a ton of really beautiful colors and different cuts.

Fjallraven Kanken backpack

I’ve never been a backpack person, but I bought this one in September for our trip to Acadia and ended up loving it; it holds a ton of stuff, the color is beautiful, and it’s just super convenient — great for hikes, but also little day trips and/or park visits. It also comes in like 50 colors; buy one from Fjallraven for $80 or Amazon for $76.

Dad Grass or Mom Grass

Are they more of a daddy or a mommy? It doesn’t really matter because there’s something for everyone! I’ve sung the praises of this product times already; it’s a great option for someone who occasionally wants a wine-free way to take the edge off, but doesn’t want this badly or often enough to actually get a weed dealer. Get it all from Dad Grass: a pack of five joints of Mom Grass ($35), Dad Grass ($35), or the Parent Pack (which has five of each) for $66.

Haws watering can

I bought one of these watering cans back in 2015 and it felt like the most indulgent purchase. It’s just beautiful; a genuine joy-sparker. This watering can is also more than just its looks; it’s made by a company that has been doing watering cans for 130 years and is extremely ergonomic/loved by gardeners. Buy one from Horti for $16. (There are also some additional color options on Amazon, but the prices/shipping times vary.)

A metal cookbook stand

This might not look very special on the website, but I own it and I can tell you that it’s really beautiful in person. The packaging is particularly nice, and it’s made of that sort of painted metal that feels very 1950s. It would also pair perfectly with a cookbook! Available in 12 colors; get it for $12 from Hightide Store DTLA. (Also: I love this store so much! Definitely have a poke around; they have tons of great gifts. For example, the Penco clips are great and would be a good stocking stuffer.)

And practical slip-ons to wear when doing all those little projects

I love sturdy house shoes (safety!!!), especially rubber clogs. A couple recs:

• The Super-Birki, which looks like what would happen if a Croc and a Dansko fucked. Available in nine colors (and men’s and women’s sizes) from Birkenstock for $79.95.

• Calzuro clogs, which I’ve had/loved for a while now, and which now come in pistachio green. Available in 16 other colors and men’s and women’s sizes; get them from Calzuro for $106. (Some of the colors/styles are also available from Amazon FYI.)

Perfect to slip on so you can dash outside and check out an interesting bird before it flies away. 🦉

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Just Good Shit: 11.21.21

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

Hi, peeps! I had a great first week at Vox and I’m newly boosted, so I’m feeling pretty good at this exact moment! Here’s what else I had going on this week…

My shit

• Great Gift Ideas That Aren't From Big Box Retailers

Reading

You Should Get a Booster Now, The Atlantic.

Dave Chappelle's "Some Of My Best Friends Are Trans" Story Doesn't Hold Up, Michael Hobbes.

Marilyn Manson: The Monster Hiding in Plain Sight, Rolling Stone.

Can a Boxer Return to the Ring After Killing?, The Atlantic.

How Exxon duped “The Daily”, Heated.

Inside the Turmoil at Jezebel, Gawker.

Brittany Luse and Eric Eddings of ‘For Colored Nerds’ Play for Keeps, NYT.

Animal Crossing Happy Home Paradise does what all DLC should: make a great game even better, Polygon.

24 Quotes on Giving Thanks, Justice, and Radical Gratitude, Sojourners.

Revolt of the Goldman Juniors, NY Mag.

Eating

We tried NYT’s Roasted Tomato and White Bean Stew this week and loved it; it came together very easily and the leftovers were great. I also made a recipe I saw on TikTok and it was fantastic — really easy and so delicious.

Have a good week! 💉

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Just Good Shit: 11.14.21

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

Hello, hello! First, some exciting news: Monday was my last day at VICE, and I start a new job at Vox tomorrow. (Details here!) Here’s what else I had going on this week…

My shit

• Just a bunch of good Thanksgiving shit

• The best shows to watch with parents, in-laws, and other family members

Reading

The rich injustice of COP26, Heated.

America Has Lost the Plot on COVID, The Atlantic.

St. Jude Hoards Billions While Many of Its Families Drain Their Savings, ProPublica.

Four Measures That Are Helping Germany Beat COVID, The Atlantic.

Thinking Hard About Their Hair, NYT. (gift link)

TikTok #CouplePranks and the Disappointments of Heterosexuality, Jezebel.

Bumble BFF has an MLM problem, Input.

Why They Left New York, New York Magazine Union.

Updating The Verge’s background policy, The Verge.

Have a good one! ✨

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Just a bunch of good Thanksgiving shit

U.S. Thanksgiving is right around the corner (as are a bunch of other cooking + family holidays), so I thought it would be a good time to share a bunch of resources and tips that might be helpful as you think about how you’ll spend your holiday!

Education

• How to Support Indigenous People on Thanksgiving

• Decolonizing Thanksgiving Toolkit Part II: Indigenous Peoples Today

• All My Relations is a podcast hosted by Matika Wilbur and Adrienne Keene. (Dr. Keene’s blog has taught me so much over the years; I really recommend it!) “ThanksTaking or ThanksGiving?” is a good episode to start with.

• You can also look into local-to-you organizations that need support; for example, I’m making a monthly donation to NYC’s American Indian Community House. You might also want to contribute to a voluntary land tax if that’s an option in your area, or go the broader route and give time/money Indigenous Environmental Network.

Making cooking more pleasant and less stressful

Generally speaking

• 9 things that have made me a calmer, better cook

• In Nancy Meyers’ Kitchen, my favorite cooking playlist

Recipes

This is the Thanksgiving menu I’m working with this year, all of which I made last yer and loved.

• Beef tenderloin with homemade horseradish sauce from Joy of Cooking

• House mashed potatoes (How Sweet Eats)

• Maple-roasted Brussels sprouts with toasted hazelnuts (NYT Cooking)

• Cranberry sauce (NYT Cooking)

• Apple cider spritz, pomegranate Aperol spritz, or winter Aperol spritz (How Sweet Eats)

• Spiced pumpkin pie (NYT Cooking) with stand mixer pie crust (King Arthur Flour)

Also, it is my sincerely-held belief that the most important thing you will eat on any big holiday is actually breakfast. I feel like people often overlook it because they want to get started cooking (or they don’t know what to have because they’re in someone else’s home) and think it’ll be fine because they are going to eat a big meal later…and then they are starving and extremely cranky by noon. So plan ahead! When hosting, I’m a huge fan of a make-ahead breakfast casserole. And if you’re not the one hosting…maybe offer to make a make-ahead breakfast casserole?

Food-related bonus reads

• Why Diet Coke Is the Perfect Thanksgiving Beverage (because you always need an EANAB!)

• The Cranberry Caucus Is Insanely Powerful

• Meet The Woman Who Has Been Saving Thanksgiving For The Past 33 Years.

Having people over

Generally speaking

• 8 Easy, Genius Hosting Tips that Expert Entertainer Dorinda Medley Swears By

• A Few Small Tips for Throwing a Great Party This Summer

• Just a Bunch of Easy Ways to Make Vaxxed Hangouts Safer in the Delta Era

Family stuff

• A Beginner's Guide to Hosting Family for the Holidays Without Melting Down

• How to Go Home for the Holidays When Your Family Is a Bit Much

Decorations

• Danica taper candles (review here) in rust, wine, black, honey, and/or taupe are gorgeous for fall.

• If you live in the NYC area and need dishes and/or servingware, I highly recommend going to Fishs Eddy and browsing their incredible selection of dinerware. We recently replaced our mismatched dishes with green Homer Laughlin china from Fishs Eddy and I’m so thrilled about it.

• Last Thanksgiving, I bought a Blue Rose Pottery pie plate ($48.50) to make my first-ever pie and ended up loving it way more than I expected to. The specific one I bought is currently out of stock, but there are tons of other cute options.

Pre-dinner readings

• The Haudenosaunee Thanksgiving Address

• “Perhaps the World Ends Here”

• “The Orange”

• Pretty much anything by Mary Oliver

Entertainment and games

• First, definitely read 22 Ways to Make Thanksgiving Into Your Own Weird, Perfect Holiday, which my friend Amy Rose wrote.

• If you’ll be celebrating on your own, check out How to Have a Very Nice Solo Holiday, which I edited last year.

• If you’re a “TV on all day” kind of family, my girlfriend and I have a tradition where we watch every Thanksgiving episode of Friends on Thanksgiving morning/day. I’m not really a Friends fan (like, I’ve seen it and don’t dislike it, I’ve just never actively watched it) but I find I really enjoy it in this context! You could also do this with any show that has a lot of seasons and always did strong Thanksgiving episodes (Gossip Girl comes to mind, and I bet The Nanny would work here too) as a nice alternative to football or whatever the hell NBC shows during the day after the parade ends.

• ICYMI, check out Terri’s list of great shows to watch when you’re hanging out with your family.

• Working on a crossword puzzle is a low-stakes activity that can be done with a another person or in a small group and is a nice way to engage with relatives/in-laws without having to make small talk about, IDK, “those Spartans” or when exactly you’re going to have kids. You could probably grab a giant book of crossword puzzles from the supermarket or just order The New York Times Greatest Hits of Monday Crossword Puzzles: 100 Easy Puzzles, The New York Times Crosswords for a Long Weekend: 200 Easy to Hard Crossword Puzzles, or any other NYT joint.

• A few board games to have in your closet: Clue (the retro version for $19.99 or the updated one for $10.99), Mexican train dominoes ($19.29), Dixit ($31.99), and Codenames ($11.49).

• A few card games worth tossing in your weekender (or bringing as a host gift): Cover Your Assets ($16.99), Sushi Go ($7.39), Strawberry Sunset ($12.95), The Bears and the Bees ($14.99), and Anomia ($15.50) (review here).

• If you have a Nintendo Switch, pick up some extra joy-cons in advance (or borrow from a friend), get any cables you need to connect it to the TV, and download Super Smash Bros., Overcooked, or a Jackbox Party Pack (which doesn’t require extra controllers BTW). 🦃

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The best shows to watch with parents, in-laws, and other family members

Hello, friends! Today, for your reading pleasure, Terri, an expert in parent-friendly entertainment (among other topics), is treating us to some fresh recs! —Rachel

Photo by Marques Kaspbrak on Unsplash

Between March 2020 and March 2021, I spent eight months living with my parents. That is eight out of 12 months. Two-thirds of a year. Nearly every weeknight, and on some weekend nights too, we’d plop down on the couch, someone would turn on the TV, and then that same someone would say, “So, what should we put on?” Even though that someone was often my dad, it wasn’t always — because he got to the point where he’d sooner sit in a silent room than have to piece together the jigsaw puzzle titled, “Something Inoffensive, Entertaining, Digestible, and Broadly Appealing.”

As I’m sure you’ve experienced with family members, it is extremely difficult to find something to watch that fits into those categories. And among me and my parents, the Venn diagram of our TV interests intersects in a space no larger than a chia seed.

Anything we watched had to satisfy these criteria:

• Nothing political (there’s a time and a place for that, but it’s just...not every single night after dinner)

• No reality TV (my mom and I love it, my dad hates it)

• Nothing too murdery (in a fun generational twist, my parents adore Dateline, but it kept me up at night in our quiet suburban house)

• Preferably no movies (my mom and I don’t have the patience, my dad absolutely does)

• Extra points if it’s a documentary 

• Preferably something in multiple parts, to stave off the next search for a show for as long as possible

Unsurprisingly, many nights passed where I watched Too Hot to Handle on my iPad while my parents watched Mecum Auto Auctions (don’t ask) next to me on the couch. I know I could go to my room like an angsty teenager — I was in my childhood home, after all — but the time with my parents felt sacred and fleeting, even though, as I have to point out again, it lasted eight months in total. So I really, really wanted to solve that jigsaw puzzle (both literally and figuratively; I love a j-puzz).

And by god, we really did manage to find some stuff that we all not only tolerated, but actually really liked. And I’m telling you, if these worked for me and my parents, then you and yours will absolutely like them too. Consider this your next TV show playlist for the next holiday, visit home, family vacation, or, god forbid, extended global pandemic.

Stuff you maybe haven’t watched yet, but should

• Finding Your Roots with Henry Louis Gates. At the start of the pandemic, I started paying for a PBS subscription, thereby giving me streaming access to their entire library  of programs (including Ken Burns documentaries and entire live recordings of Broadway shows, both of which always get a collective “hell yeah” from Bob and Carol). It’s one of the best things I did, partially because it gave us access to this jewel of a show. Gates meets up with celebrities of all stripes (Jordan Peele! Bernie Sanders!), traces their lineage, tells them stories about their ancestors they never knew, and sometimes tells them about other celebs they’re related to. (This is the show where it was discovered that Larry David and Bernie are actually related.) It’s so charming, offers a very personal insight into history, and Gates is an engaging, delightful host. I liked it so much I’ve been watching ever since I went back to my own apartment.

• Only Connect. This is an extremely British game show in which teams of three try to make connections among seemingly disparate bits of trivia and words. When I say it’s extremely British, I mean there are countless questions about cricket, “footballers,” British counties and towns, and at least one question about some creature named Basil Brush. Even if you consider yourself a smart person, it will make you feel like an idiot, but it’s so fun, I promise. The host, Victoria Coren Mitchell, is equal parts warm, witty, and excoriating, and has a ton of fun with the supremely nerdy contestants who toil away at the questions for literally no prize other than a plaque. It airs on the BBC in the UK, but you can watch on YouTube in the U.S.

• The Food that Made America. This is a docu-series on the History Channel, because you know I had to include something from the History Channel on a list of shows I watched with my parents. This one is super fun: It traces the history of some of the most iconic food brands, like Coca-Cola, Hershey’s, and Frito-Lay, and intersperses it with some truly cringe-worthy reenactments. Somehow, every single company was founded by two brothers who eventually hated each other because one only cared about the business and the other wanted to fuck around. Anyway. It’s pretty entertaining, and you learn stuff! And crave some snacks.

• Modern Marvels. This comes on right after The Food that Made America, and if you, like my mom, have a tendency to fall asleep during a show for 10 minutes or more, you might wake up and be like, “Oh cool, same show.” But this one has Adam Richman (the Man vs. Food guy), and in the most recent season I watched, he shows you how all kinds of foods are made. He shows you chocolate chip cookies, chips, ice cream, and goes inside the factories, and it’s all very informative and mouth-watering and broadly appealing. No one will object. What more are you really asking for?

• The World Poker Tour. Listen, sometimes you need to space out and listen to Vince van Patten and Tony Dunst narrate the action as some dude name Joe tries to hide that he has pocket aces. I finally got somewhat decent at playing poker while I was home, so we watched a lot of the World Poker Tour. Even though the ads are interminable, it was pretty entertaining, and helped me beat my 8-year-old niece at the game at least twice. If you want something that’s literally always on, no matter when you want to watch it, this is perfect.

• Buying Alaska. This is somehow not on HGTV. It follows people trying to buy homes in Alaska, the more remote and the fewer the toilets, the better. It’s pretty entertaining because it includes more about the lifestyle of Alaskans than HGTV shows tend to include — but also, some people just really want to live among the moose, and I find that charming.

• The Plot Against America. This was really gripping stuff! It’s alternate history based on a book by Philip Roth about what the world would look like if Charles Lindbergh defeated FDR in the 1940 presidential election. It’s obviously fiction, but the sobering depiction of rising fascism and antisemitism felt… not that far off! I know I said we usually avoid anything remotely political, but we’re Jewish, and the story about a Jewish family really hooked us in.
  

Some stuff you’ve definitely heard of and/or watched, but shouldn’t discount:

• Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives

• Operation Varsity Blues: The College Admissions Scandal

• Curb Your Enthusiasm

• The Stanley Tucci CNN show in Italy

• The Queen’s Gambit

• The Crown

Thank you, Terri! Finally, here are a few of my personal recs for family-friendly entertainment: Defunctland (make a playlist of all the vids that sound good to you and let it rock), The Last Dance, Winning Time: Reggie Miller vs. the New York Knicks, Untold: Crime & Penalties, The Imagineering Story, and Ken Burns’ Prohibition (which it will not surprise you to hear that Terri actually recommended to me a few years ago). —RWM 📺

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Just Good Shit: 11.07.21

Hi I spent this past week with my gf at a very cute Airbnb in the Catskills. We did a lot of sitting by the fire and playing Wingspan (this is the article that made me want to buy the game BTW) and also ventured out for a hike to Kaaterskill Falls. Before we drove back to the city, we stopped at Phoenicia Diner for a really lovely outdoor brunch. Overall, the foliage was excellent, the driving was easy, and it was just a lovely and relaxing week! And we were back in time for the NYC Marathon, one of my favorite days of the year.

Here’s what else I had going on...

My shit

• BYO Steak Night ft. Britni de la Cretaz

• We Want Your (Non-Chain-Store) Gift Recommendations!   

Reading

Inside Amazon’s Worst Human Resources Problem, NYT. (gift link)

The SEPTA Rape Case Shows Americans Eagerly Believe the Worst About Cities, VICE.

Why Five of Kyrsten Sinema’s Advisers Just Quit, Slate. 

Zuckerberg Announces Fantasy World Where Facebook Is Not a Horrible Company, VICE.

“I’m an old, out and proud lesbian. Am I transphobic if I don’t want to have sex with trans women?”, Xtra.

Primp Your Ride, NYT. 

I Just Turned 60, but I Still Feel 22, NYT. 

Watching & listening to

So many podcasts! My friend Amy Rose is hosting the new season of POWER, focusing on Hugh Hefner and Playboy. And we listened to the entire 30 for 30 Heavy Medals series as well as “The Spy Who Signed Me.” Also, our Airbnb had cable, where I discovered Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making the Team, which just...plays in an endless loop on CMT??? 

Have a great week! 🏃

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Just Good Shit: 10.24.21

Hello and happy Sunday! Today is my and my girlfriend’s three-year anniversary. To celebrate, we’re taking a little trip to the Catskills in a week, but we also spent the day doing nice fall things, including making hot apple cider in the Crock Pot and continuing our tradition of making homemade soft pretzels and beef stew. Here’s what else I got up to this week...

My shit

There’s a new episode of the podcast out! This was our one-year anniversary episode, and we talked about a bunch of things we really love (that we’ve never discussed before).

Reading

The Murders Down the Hall, NY Mag.
Just a devastating story about police and city incompetence.

“Your Case is Closed, Don’t Call Here Any More”: Most Rapes in New York City Went Unsolved in 2020, Gothamist.

The last days inside Trailer 83, Washington Post.
And if you read this and are wondering if there’s a GoFundMe, there is.

‘Rust’ crew describes on-set gun safety issues and misfires days before fatal shooting, LA Times.
I also highly recommend this thread from a film armorer about how gun safety on sets should work.

Fear on Cape Cod as Sharks Hunt Again, NYT Magazine.

Thousands of People Are Trying to Leave QAnon, but Getting Out Is Almost Impossible, Cosmo.

They Just Moved Into an Austin Neighborhood. Now They Want to End One of Its Traditions., Texas Monthly.

I Couldn’t Afford Hearing Aids Until I Got a Six-Figure Book Deal, Slate.

The Necessary Will of Lesbian Mothers, The Cut.

Self-love is an egg sandwich with hot sauce, The Philadelphia Inquirer. 

Oh Dear, I've Gone Numb, ¡Hola Papi!

Watching & listening to

Some personal news: I have somehow, without even trying, become a fan of professional basketball and am actively watching (and enjoying!!!) the new NBA season. No one is more shocked about this than I am. The TL;DR is that I’ve gotten really into sports documentaries and podcasts in the past year or so, and that somehow...made me want to watch actual games? This NY Mag post is really what pushed me over the edge, and I keep referring back to this Defector post about the upcoming season, which feels like it was written for me personally. 

Anyway, I have a couple of additional sports recs outside of the actual season: the 30 for 30 podcast five-part miniseries about Donald Sterling and the 30 for 30 documentary Reggie Miller vs. The NY Knicks (which you can also watch on Amazon). 

NYC

Early voting is underway! Find your poll location here. And if you’d like insight into how to vote on the different ballot measures, check out this guide from Soft Power.

Have a great week! 👻

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Just Good Shit: 10.17.21

HI! This week, I got a helix piercing (from my beloved So Gold Studios in Brooklyn), carved a pumpkin, baked Abigail Koffler’s fantastic pumpkin bread, watched Death Becomes Her and Mean Girls (two Halloween movies imo), and finished a knitting project. Also, it’s pumpkin butterscotch cookie season!

Here’s what else I had going on...

Reading

Lab-grown meat is supposed to be inevitable. The science tells a different story., The Counter.
Really fantastic longread.

Netflix's CEO made his priority clear — and it's not trans lives, Mic.

Also, if you want to know exactly how bad the special is but don’t want to give it views, you can read the flatly disgusting transcript.

The Mississippi Abortion Case Threatens the Right to Use Birth Control, Marry, and Even Make Choices About Sex, Slate.

The Controversy Behind the Scenes of Dallas Buyers Club, Vanity Fair.

Slackers of the World, Unite!, The Atlantic.

Have a good one! 🎃

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Just Good Shit: 10.10.21

Hello! I’m back after a wonderful week spent in Maine at Acadia National Park. (Full rundown on everything we did to come!) It’s currently not as autumnal outside in Brooklyn as I’d like it to be, but I’m still glad it’s October. I’ve been knitting a bunch, reading books, and getting excited for gift guide season. Here’s what else I’ve had going on...

My shit

• What to Do When a Friend's Insecurity Is Ruining Your Vibe

• Bags within bags!

And there are two new eps of the podcast: How to Be, Like, 75% Organized and A Solid Alternative to Googling Your Symptoms ft. Casey Gueren.

Reading

On the Internet, We’re Always Famous, The New Yorker.

The Joe Manchin climate doctrine, Heated.

Do I Still Need a Pulse Oximeter?, NYT. (gift link)

Notes for a Queer Homemaker: Polishing Silver and Panoptical Perches, Autostraddle.

What's Up With "Gender Critical" Gay Guys?, Gawker.

$5 jewelry and an MLM conference gone wrong, Vox.

‘America’s Oldest Park Ranger’ Is Only Her Latest Chapter, NYT. (gift link)

Bringing Black History to Life in the Great Outdoors, NYT. (gift link)

Why TikTok Is So Obsessed With Labeling Everything a Trauma Response, Slate.

Watching & listening to

Lots of Maintenance Phase and You’re Wrong About. 5 Things Tidying Method (h/t Captain Awkward). Everything JoJo Siwa’s doing on Dancing With the Stars and also this clip from Dance Moms, which was my introduction to the show and is one of the wildest and high camp things I’ve seen in a while. (How...was this...a television show????) And this fantastic episode of the podcast ICYMI, in which the hosts interview a “true crime” TikToker about the content she made in the days following Gabby Petito’s disappearance.

Have a nice week! 🍂

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Bags within bags!

Today I’m here to sing the praises of an organizational system I creatively refer to as “bags within bags,” which I’ve been using to keep several aspects of my life organized for the past few months.

I don’t normally carry a very big bag (if I carry one at all), but when I do carry a tote for whatever reason, I really hate having all my stuff just...floating around in it. I don’t want to have to root around for something, wondering the whole time if I remembered to bring it with me; I want to be able to find it quickly and easily so I can move on with my life! This became a problem over the summer, when we started going to the beach regularly. I wanted to be able to easily grab things like chapstick, car keys, hand sanitizer, etc. and not worry about anything spilling or getting lost. So I decided I’d just buy a couple of small mesh travel pouches…but the thing that made the most sense at the time turned out to be a set of 18 (!!!) zipper mesh bags of varying sizes that cost $12.99 on Amazon.

This turned out to be an incredible purchase, which I didn’t really expect. The smaller pouches did exactly what I needed them to do, and the larger sizes (which are really quite sizable) meant I could put bigger bottles of sunscreen or bug spray in their own bag as well. Great! My beach bag problem was perfectly solved! But the mesh bags really began to shine when I picked up knitting again. 

After a few weeks of working on a couple of different knitting projects at once, I realized I needed a better way to corral all my stuff and not have half-knitted sweaters perched on every flat surface. This led me to the baby Baggu bag ($10 from Baggu or Amazon) which is the perfect size for 1–2 knitting projects. (It’s smaller than your standard canvas tote, but bigger than a brown paper lunch bag.) The baby Baggu made it easier to just keep the needles, yarn, and instructions I needed close at hand, and to easily move everything from, say, the bedroom to the living room or up to the roof, or wherever I felt like knitting on a given day.

But I still had the problem of a lot of small loose items (a measuring tape, knitting markers, tiny scissors, crochet hook, etc.) floating around the bottom of the bag. So I pulled out some of the extra mesh bags I had and organized everything in the baby Baggu. The size 9 and 10 needles of varying lengths I was using for one project went into one mesh bag, while the size 4 and 6 needles I needed for another project went in their own — so I no longer had to sort through all my needles to find just the size 9 40 cm circular needles. I put my needle stoppers (which I’ve found are weirdly hard to keep track of) in a small bag of their own, and put my remaining tools in their own bag.

This new system was nothing short of life-changing. 

When my girlfriend and I drove up to Maine last week, we used more of the mesh bags (because, remember, the set came with 18 bags) for all of our toiletries/products, as well as things we wanted to have handy at all times (like phone chargers, contacts, and bandaids). I took the Fjallraven Kanken backpack I bought for the trip with me everywhere, and being able to throw the appropriate mini bags into it depending on where we were going/what we needed was so helpful. And on the couple of occasions when I wanted to take my knitting out with me, I just put the single project I was focusing on into the Fjallraven, and then added the small mesh bag with all of my tools in case of a knitting emergency. 

Being far from home/driving for 10+ hours/out all day in a national park for the first time was mildly nerve-wracking, and it was a huge relief to not be stressed about where my car keys, eye drops, and granola bars were. But even when I’m just knitting at home, it’s just been so nice to know where all my shit is.

Get the mesh bags from Amazon for $12.99 and the baby Baggu bag for $10 from Baggu or Amazon. 🎒

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