One year of knitting

Person with stocking feet extending out from couch, with cozy winter scene playing on tv. Surrounding the person are cozy blankets and gray and cream yarns

Jan 2, 2021

This month marks my one-year anniversary of learning to knit, and it’s exciting to look back and see how far I’ve come. I love having hobbies, but knitting has definitely been one of the harder ones. It has a steep learning curve, so it’s easy to get discouraged and give up early on (or…at any point, really). It was even harder to learn to knit at home without any in-person instruction, which would have, I think, changed everything. That said, with enough trial and error, willingness to start over, and good old-fashioned practice (annoying, I know!), I’ve been able to finish several projects and can now confidently call myself a competent knitter.

Here’s everything I used to learn to knit, the projects I completed this year, my favorite tools, some tips I wish I’d known sooner, and my knitting goals for 2022.

How I learned to knit

My girlfriend and I both wanted to learn to knit, and she went first, with me a week or so behind her. We both used my friend Alanna’s book, How to Knit a Hat (also on Bookshop, but currently sold out), plus YouTube videos (which is something Alanna suggests doing in the book). Because my gf started before I did, I was able to get help from her, whereas she fully taught herself without anyone else to show her.

cream yarn knitting project in progress on a gray plaid blanket with an R monogram
cream beanie knit by a beginner, on a gray and white plaid blanket

We both finished the hat and then moved on to other projects.

Completed knitting projects 2021

Novice sweater

light blue sweater in the progress of being knit; one sleeve is partially finished, the other is missing

Knitting a whole-ass sweater felt like a huge step up after just doing a hat, and yet…it was the perfect step up! On my first attempt, I misread a step fairly early on in the pattern (it involved the increases at the yoke, and where you should start measuring the overall length) and didn’t really see a way to undo it. So I just started over! I remember being super bummed at the time, but it taught me an important lesson: that it’s often way easier to just start over, and that projects almost always look considerably better the second time around, even if it’s just redoing a cast-on or a cuff.

person wearing completed pale blue knit sweater

I don’t remember everything I worked on right after this one, but I know I attempted a Wool & the Gang sweater (the pattern is definitely not that hard, but I think I had problems because my yarn wasn’t quite the right weight and I was going off script in other ways, which was a bad idea); at least one hat; and a second novice sweater holding three strands of yarn in three different colors. None of these worked out, which was honestly fine! I’ve found I’m more of a “knitting is a journey, not a destination” knitter, and it was helpful to just practice, to get better at reading patterns (one of the hardest parts of knitting tbh), and to get practice buying yarn and needles and making sense of how they felt in my hands.

Lucky dog sweater

dog wearing a multicolor knit sweater with shades of brown, yellow, and green

The next project I (technically) completed was a dog sweater from Purl Soho. It was way, way harder than I expected, or than a dog sweater has any right to be. It involved a ton of short rows using the wrap-and-turn technique, which is annoying…but it turned out to be great, in a way, because it was a small project and the instructions were well-written compared to most patterns that utilize short rows. I also really liked the Lion Brand Yarn Wool-Ease Thick and Quick yarn; this color is Coney Island, but I also bought it in Dreamcatcher, which I used on a bunch of the projects I didn’t finish around this time. It’s fairly inexpensive but feels nice in your hands, is super easy to knit with, and always a lot better than I expect it to.

multicolor dog sweater in progress of being knit

I worked so hard on this sweater and all its fiddly little short rows, only to put it on Chuck and realize it didn’t fit quite right (it was too long in the neck). He made it very clear how much he hated wearing it, so I didn’t bother to fix it/redo it.

toy fox terrier wearing a multicolor dog sweater and hating it
adult and baby matching gray knit sweaters

After a longish break (vaccinated summer was…not the knitting zone), we got back into knitting again in August. I had a couple projects going around this time, but this is the first one I finished. And this one convinced me that the way to get better at knitting and actually finish projects (which helps you stay motivated) is to knit items for babies/children. This sweater, which I knit for my friend Julia’s daughter’s first birthday in October, utilizes literally the exact same techniques as the adult novice sweater, but it went so much faster. As part of the birthday gift, my gf knit the adult version for Julia so they had matching ones.

We used Berocco Ultra Alpaca Chunky yarn for both of these, a brand/weight that has become one of my favorites.

I actually knit this one from beginning to end twice! The first version, which I was thinking of as a prototype since I wasn’t going to be able to try it on the baby first, didn’t fit — the neck was too tight, and that wasn’t really something I could fix. So I just redid it and, again, didn’t regret that at all; it looked better the second time, and it was a quick enough project that I didn’t feel too precious about it, or like I’d wasted a ton of time.

This is the first project I knit swatches for; I learned that I knit very tight and need to make adjustments to patterns accordingly. It’s also the first project that I blocked, a step that I now love and swear by.

baby sweater on knitting blocks
toy fox terrier wearing another knit sweater and hating it

This is another dog sweater that calls for a very fussy technique; in this case, it was the i-cord cast-on that took like a year off my life, and for no good reason — he’s a dog, he doesn’t need a fancy cast-on! But I’d prefer to learn on a dog sweater than a human sweater.

lavender dog sweater knitting in progress
lavender dog sweater i-cord cast-on

(BTW, this is that Lion Brand Wool Ease yarn again; this time, the color is Fairy.)

This entire sweater is supposed to be ribbed, but I decided to just do the neck ribbing and then knit the rest, and I’m glad I did. He doesn’t love the finished sweater, and ribbing the whole thing just…would not have been worth the extra time it would have taken.

Aftenstocking

Green Christmas stocking and gray Christmas stocking hanging on shelf with red bird holders

At the beginning of 2021, my girlfriend and I made one resolution: To be able to knit these stockings by Christmastime. At the time, it felt impossible. Come fall, it felt….very doable, but then it turned out to be kind of a pain in the ass! I think it was because of how the pattern is written, the fact that you need very small circular needles to start, and the fact that using short rows to make a heel is just…an endeavor.

Green knit Christmas stocking work in progress

It took me so long to figure out the heel turn (I redid it at least four times, probably more?) and when I finally got it right and then finished the whole stocking, it looked…bad. Why was the toe SO STUMPY???

Green knit Christmas stocking work in progress

I still don’t know!! But through the miracle of blocking and then felting — which happened at midnight on Christmas Eve lolsob — the stocking actually ended up looking pretty good.

Green Christmas stocking and gray Christmas stocking being blocked on Christmas Eve

And with that, my first year of knitting came to an end! There was one more big sweater that I started in September that I thought I’d be able to finish by the end of the year. In the end, I got slowed down because I had to learn new techniques (like sewing on sleeves) and because of some annoying/avoidable mistakes (e.g., using the wrong size needles on the sleeves, which meant they were too small). I finally made it to the home stretch, but I’m having a terrible time picking up the stitches for the neckline, so I’ve set it aside and will go back to it later. I was sick of it and needed a break.

Tools

Bag with tiny scissors, tape measure, clips, and highlighters

There are so, so many tools for knitters and it’s impossible to list all my favorites (and it’s so personal anyway), but there are a few that really made a difference this year:

Bags within bags

I swear by my Baggu baby bag + smaller individual zipper bags. Also, you won’t regret having tiny scissors and a tiny tape measure in your bag.

Plastic stitch markers

I think my girlfriend bought this case of colorful plastic stitch markers ($8.99 from Amazon) very early on in our knitting journey, and they are one of our most-used and most-loved items. I’ve tried some others in the time since, and honestly, the hot Cocoknits brass ones have nothing on these plastic ones. Truly an MVP.

A stitch counter

I finally bought myself a knitting counter this fall, and I don’t know what took me so long! (I was marking down a tally with a pencil and paper this whole time.) I really like the $9 metal one I have, and my girlfriend loves the $9 Clover one. (Hers makes the most satisfying sound every time she advances it.) I’ve also been experimenting with counting apps; sometimes you need to have two counters going at once, and an app is really helpful for that. I downloaded a bunch of different ones to try, and Count That Now is my favorite.

A knitting notebook

Another major “What took me so long?” addition to my life. More here.

A few tips I swear by

In no particular order, here are some of the things I wish I’d known/really understood as a beginner.

  • You have to like the yarn you’re using! You definitely don’t need fancy yarn, especially when you’re starting out, but you should really like looking at it (because you’re going to be stuck with it for a while). If you’ve done a few rows and are asking yourself the whole time if you really like the color or are already regretting choosing it, just stop and start over with a different color.

  • I have really never regretted starting something over when I realized I’ve made a mistake or something is looking loose/bad/etc. Pretty much everything looks better on a second pass. 

  • If something isn’t looking good and you’re stressed about it, put it away for a while and come back to it. Most things look better with fresh eyes/once you’ve zoomed out and are looking at the entire project. And if they still look bad, well, see above tip about starting over.

  • A lot of surface mistakes can be “fixed in post” — aka when you’re all done. For example, blocking solves a huge amount of problems (e.g., you’ve got some stitches that are looking a little funky), and underarm holes can easily be sewn together when you’re done.

  • Knitting slower and reading the patterns slower would have solved like 75% of my knitting problems in the past year.

  • My girlfriend and I store all of our knitting patterns in a shared Google Drive folder so we can easily find them/re-print them later. We both always work from a printed pattern, but sometimes it’s nice to be able to pull up the pattern on your phone when you’re in a store, or look up a specific instruction on your phone if the pattern is kind of out of reach.

  • Most local knitting stores have some form of IRL classes/office hours/etc. where you can get personalized help and ask questions about your projects. (So, for example, if it had been safe to go IRL in December, I would have definitely done that for the stocking heel trouble I was having.)

  • If you find a YouTube tutorial you really like, save it to a playlist! You’ll probably need to reference it again in the future, and not all YouTube tutorials are created equal.

  • Take more notes than you think you’ll need to; you won’t remember things as well as you think you will, not even the things that are giving you a ton of grief.

  • Yarn is a great souvenir! During the trips my girlfriend and I took this fall, we found yarn stores and picked out yarn as a special souvenir from the trip.

2022 knitting goals

Heading into the new year, here are my big knitting goals:

Learn to knit continental. I think this style of knitting will allow me to knit a lot faster and more comfortably. I’ve actually already started learning and it turned out to be…a lot easier than I expected? I think it’s also helping me adjust my tension/make up for the fact that I’m knitting too tight, which is something I really needed to correct, so I’m thrilled.

Knit with blocks of color. This is this year’s stocking goal, aka a goal my girlfriend and I both want to do. This might look like intarsia or a Fair Isle…we’ll see! For me, this is very much a Q4 goal.

Knit an object of some sort. I recently discovered the big world of knit animals, and realized there are tons of other non-clothing items one can knit (like Christmas decorations or vegetables). I think this is going to be something I really enjoy — it has the “you can complete a whole project faster” effect you get with kids’ clothes, but is more immediately useful to me personally. I actually impulse-knit a bird today, so technically I can already cross this goal off already, but I want to properly invest in it and get good enough at it to be able gift things (or at least decorate my Christmas tree).

Annnd that’s a wrap on my first year of knitting! I was going to say something here about how it’s been really good for my mental health, a nice alternative to looking my phone and a good thing to do when you’re feeling anxious… but the reality is that I regularly declare that I hate it, and my girlfriend and I reference this TikTok all the time when we’re knitting. So ya know… it has its moments. 🧶

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Just Good Shit: 01.16.22

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

Hi! Here’s what I’ve been up to this week…

Reading

Back To Normal Isn’t Enough, Defector.

What to do if you've got covid, Calm Covid.
Really enjoying this newsletter!

Calling Omicron ‘Mild’ Is Wishful Thinking, The Atlantic.

The Real Reason Americans Aren’t Isolating, The Atlantic.

One-Way Masking Works, The Atlantic.

The Agony of Parents With Kids Under 5, Slate.

I’m a Longtime Union Organizer. But I Had Never Seen Anything Like This., NYT. (gift link)

Kyrsten Sinema’s opposition to filibuster reform rests on a myth, Vox.

Hanya’s Boys, Vulture.

6 Ways Fitness Instructors Can Check Their Anti-Fat Bias, SELF.

A Survival Expert Breaks Down the Yellowjackets’ Best and Worst Decisions, Vulture.

Colors: Where did they go? An investigation., Vox.

A Rio Grande Valley Woman Just Broke the U.S. Record for Most Birds Spotted in a Year, Texas Monthly.

They bought a blender. Three weeks later, their cats continue to hold it hostage., Washington Post.

Watching & listening to

Yellowjackets. Drag Race Season 14. “For the Birds,” a very good Radiolab episode. (It really picks up in the second act.) The excellent Holly Madison episode of Power. And a segment from an old episode of Bitch Sesh, in which the hosts read aloud a series of dramatic and chaotic (real-life!) emails from a group of very intense parents planning a teacher appreciation luncheon. (It starts around 11:14 and ends at 36:00 and I’ve listened to it three times in the past week. I just put it on again.)

Have a good week! ✨

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Just Good Shit: 01.09.22

My girlfriend & Chuck having a cozy one

Hello and happy (?????) new year! I had a lovely holiday and then spent this week feeling really crappy due to cold/allergy-like symptoms that are not covid (according to one negative PCR and five negative rapid tests). I’m very bummed, as January is one of my favorite months and I feel very motivated to organize, decorate, and hunker down with some new hobbies. We had big plans to go to Prospect Park this weekend and look at birds, and instead I spent the weekend on the couch taking Sudafed.

Here’s what else I’ve had going on…

Writing

Reading

America Quits the Fight Against Covid, The New Republic.

Who Gets the Blame When Schools Shut Down, The New Yorker.

Omicron Is Our Past Pandemic Mistakes on Fast-Forward, The Atlantic.

If you're going to trust anyone to know the real cost of #COVID19 in terms of deaths, trust life insurance companies.”

Seriously, Upgrade Your Face Mask, NY Mag.
I really like the Harley N95, available from Bona Fide Mask (currently $45 for a box of 20).

Don’t Be Too Cavalier About Omicron — Long Covid Is Still a Real Risk, Rolling Stone.

How to Stay Safe if You’re Trapped in Your Car During a Snowstorm, NYT.

Shoe Obsession for the Ages: Prince’s Killer Collection of Custom Heels, Now on View, NYT.

The 2021 Audubon Photography Awards: Top 100, Audubon.

Entertainment

I’ve been watching Yellowjackets, How To with John Wilson, and Selling Tampa; knitting; watching Rajiv Surendra DIY videos on YouTube (start with his house tour); listening to Like a Virgin; and playing Parks (a Christmas gift from my gf — it’s so gentle and nice).

Have a good week! 🌨️

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My knitting notebook

Cream Rollbahn spiral notebook sitting on a blanket next to a ball of gray yarn

One of the more useful things I did in the latter half of my first year of knitting was get a small notebook to dedicate to knitting projects. Knitting involves way more math and counting than I’d like it to, and I often found myself tallying counts on the printed pattern itself — which is fine, I guess, but not ideal, especially because my patterns tend to get really tattered while I’m working so they don’t serve as a great record of a project. I also wanted to better record details like the specific yarn and needles I was using and how long each project was taking me. So I finally got a little Rollbahn spiral notebook to keep in my knitting bag, and it’s changed my life.

spiral notebook open to a page that says "contents" with different knitting pages and page numbers listed

I set up a table of contents on the first page, and have added page numbers to each subsequent page. Each project gets its own page (back and front). At the top of each project page, I write this:

Started:
Completed:
Yarn

Skeins:

Needles:

Below that, I write Notes: and then use the rest of the page to jot down anything that feels relevant; it might be the date I started a specific component (like a sleeve) or it might be a simple mistake or big source of frustration that I want to remember in case I redo the project later. (I’ve learned the hard way that I…will not remember these things as well as I think I will.) I’ve also been trying to note when I learn a new skill or technique — basically, instead of celebrating the total number of projects I do, I want to highlight all of the things I’m learning, even when I do a project that I don’t end up finishing or really liking.

Knitting notebook showing notes on Jr. Novice Sweater v 2

It’s such a small, obvious thing but it’s been so helpful! 🧶

More journaling content that might be of interest: Starting a house journal, how to start and keep a journal during a pandemic (or any time of major upheaval), the Hobonichi Techo planner, and my book!

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The best things I read in 2021

photo showing laptop with stickers, Rollbahn notebook, and can of LaCroix

Happy New Year’s Eve! If you’re planning a cozy night in — which I personally highly recommend — might I suggest reading (or re-reading) some really fantastic longreads from the past year?

Here are all of my faves from 2021, in no particular order:

The Only Strategy Left for Democrats, The Cut.
“Govern like you won, winners.” I think about this line…all the time.

The Road to Terfdom, Lux.

Airbnb Is Spending Millions of Dollars to Make Nightmares Go Away, Bloomberg.

The Pain Was Unbearable. So Why Did Doctors Turn Her Away?, Wired.

The Murders Down the Hall, NY Mag.

As a Black Man in America, I Feel Death Looming Every Day, NYT.

Britney Spears Was Never in Control, The Cut.

Lab-grown meat is supposed to be inevitable. The science tells a different story., The Counter.

On the Internet, We’re Always Famous, The New Yorker.

I Canceled My Birthday Party Because of Omicron, The Atlantic.

How Coffin Flop’s Coffins Got Flopped, Vulture.

It Is Unconscionable That The Gay Community Has Ostracized Me Simply Because I Was Born A Cop, Defector.

And the thing I’m personally most proud of from 2021: Shantay, You Pay: Inside the Heavy Financial Burden of Going On ‘Drag Race’. 🎆

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Just Good Shit: 12.20.21

Gray wingback chair with plaid blanket and "merry christmas" pillow

Hi! This week’s post is late because I was watching Season 2 of 12 Dates of Christmas on HBO Max, a reality TV dating show that also happens to be my new favorite Christmas movie. It’s really light and fun, provides so much ridiculous Christmas/winter eye candy, and is very gay! (The first episode is available on YouTube if you don’t have HBO Max.) Watching it offered a much-needed respite from the terrible news and absolutely rotten vibe of this week.

Here’s what else I have for you…

My shit

And a couple of things from the archives that might be useful at this exact moment: Guidance for safer vaxxed gatherings (from September, so please err on the side of even more cautious/conservative), how to tell your family you aren’t coming home for the holidays this year, and what to do if you think your cousins might give grandma COVID this holiday (if you’re once again arguing with family, this time about things like taking rapid tests or canceling entirely).

Reading

I Canceled My Birthday Party Because of Omicron, The Atlantic.
“It is easy to despair, but we cannot afford the luxury of nihilism. ... The infectious nature of a virus means that a tiny bad decision can cause exponential harm, but also that a tiny wise decision can do exponential good.” This whole essay is so good.

What if the Flu isn’t “just the Flu?”, The Air Letter.
This is a sobering read. (Also: Please get your flu shot!)

I’m Staying Home for the Holidays Again This Year. Here’s Why., Self.

Why Can’t America Get Rapid Tests Right?, Slate.

The Abortion I Didn’t Have, NYT.

Please Stop Saying ‘Happy Holidays’ When You Mean ‘Merry Christmas’, Hey Alma.

Retailers say thefts are at crisis level. The numbers say otherwise, LA Times.

A parent and daughter battle over an elaborate Lego creation, The Washington Post.
“I am trying to be encouraging here, but I am incensed that you’re going to war with her joy, security and well-being over carpet-cleaning.”

What worries me about making a family into a brand, Mothers Under the Influence.

Ask a Cardiologist: Should Carrie Have Called 911?, Vulture.

Have a cozy and safe one. 🛷

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Just Good Shit: 12.12.21

Safely celebrating a winter birthday during a pandemic is not the easiest thing to do, but I’m pleased to say I made it work on Friday night for my girlfriend’s 30th! After I found out the hot tub boat I had been banking on left for Florida in November, I did a lot of research and eventually came across CityWell, which is basically an indoor/outdoor spa situation that you can book for private parties of up to 10 people. We utilized the outdoor aspect and had access to saunas, a hot tub, and a fire pit, which turned out to be a great jumping-off point for a “winter yeehaw” party. (Turns out, when you type “cowgirl bachelorette” into Etsy, you find a lot of good party stuff. Also, the airbrushed custom sweatshirts our guy Stephen at FreshAirShirts made were truly a work of art.) I also booked Miss Malice, a fantastic local drag performer, as a surprise. It was just a really special night all-around, and, in a huge surprise to me personally, I am pleased to announce that “I love hot tubs” is my new personality!

Now that the party is over (though not her official birthday — that’s on Wednesday), I’m excited to turn my focus to Christmas and New Year’s!

L train ornament from Craftspring

Just Good Shit: 12.05.21

outdoor Christmas tree stand in Brooklyn

Hello there! It’s been a cozy one over here; we got our Christmas tree yesterday, and spent the weekend knitting, drinking the best hot chocolate, and watching Christmas movies. (Decorating is TK, as earlier tonight I took out all of the Christmas stuff and discovered I…got rid of all of our Christmas lights at the end of last year? And seemingly totally forgot about this????) I’ve also learned to plunk out (with my fingers on the correct keys, but plunking nonetheless!!) “Jingle Bells” and “O Come All Ye Faithful” on the piano, which I’m quite proud of, as I’ve only had three lessons so far.

Speaking of Christmas things: please check out @transanta and consider donating gifts to trans youths in need!


Here’s what else I had going on this week…

Reading

This Is How Roe Ends, NY Mag.

Cognitive Rehab: One Patient’s Painstaking Path Through Long Covid Therapy, NYT.
This is just…devastating.

Omicron’s Best- and Worst-Case Scenarios, The Atlantic.

Omicron Won’t Ruin Your Booster, The Atlantic.

Anti-vaxx Chronicles: This story was tough the first time we saw it, turns out it's even more brutal, Daily Kos.

I had a Very Bad experience with @Hertz over Thanksgiving.”
Wild.

The End of Gendering Wine, Punch.

Here's Why Movie Dialogue Has Gotten More Difficult To Understand (And Three Ways To Fix It), Slash Film.

An Attempt to Make Sense of This Year’s Netflix Christmas Movies, Vulture.

Watching & listening to

I’m really enjoying the new podcast Like a Virgin. I’ve also watched a bunch of queer holiday romance movies for an upcoming episode of the podcast, as well as The Bitch Who Stole Christmas, which is so stupid in the best way.

Have a good night! 🌰

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Just Good Shit: 11.28.21

Happy Sunday night! My Thanksgiving week was great. The Baskin-Robbins turkey-shaped ice cream cake (which I ordered as a surprise for my gf) was a huge hit, and the rest of the food turned out really well. And the rest of the weekend was relaxing and cozy. Here’s what else I had going on…

My shit

I was also a guest on the This Is Good For You podcast, talking about puzzles!

Reading

It's Time to Fear the Fungi, Wired.

Did Trans Activists Doxx J.K. Rowling?, Michael Hobbes.

Inside Felicia Sonmez’s Lawsuit Against the Washington Post, NY Mag.

Can You Take a Hint?, Texas Monthly.
Absolutely obsessed with every line of this old profile of Heloise.

The limitations of the 'sapphic anthem', NPR.

They Found a New Bird!, Slate.

What does an actor lose when their prosthetics become the star?, Vulture.

Inside Hidden Hills, Shangri-La to the Kanye Set, Vanity Fair.
Ended up on this 2017 article while watching Selling Sunset Season 4.

The determined thief, the cranberry usurper, and other work potlucks gone wrong, Ask a Manager.

Have a good one! 🌲

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Good gift ideas for the person whose taste is Herman Miller by day and Spencer’s Gifts by night

For the third year running, I am publishing a gift guide inspired by my girlfriend’s taste, and for the second year running, I’m just handing over the reins and letting her write it herself! You know your friend who has impeccable taste but who also, somewhat confoundingly, likes things that are so bad they’re good? That’s who this gift guide is for. And be sure to check out the 2019 and 2020 version too. –RWM ✨

I’m happy to be back with a new gift guide! This year’s influences include Spike Lee’s love of the New York Knicks, Dua Lipa’s cowgirl-themed music video for “Love Again,” and quite literally every single frame of At Home With Amy Sedaris. These gifts are for the person who fusses over small details and cares about quality, but who also likes kitsch and camp and the absurd. I won’t say this gift guide is only for gay people, but it’s definitely for gay people (and not just because it includes multiple carabiner recommendations).

An olive-garnished sweatsuit

My love for food-themed home decor extends into apparel as well, and this olive crewneck sweatshirt and sweatpants situation really hits the spot. Depending on your loved one’s climate, you could opt for the sweatpants or the sweatshorts. And if you want this look to be able to travel from the couch to running errands, then pairing it with the dirty martini baseball cap oughta do the trick.


Get them all from Wear Your Snacks (clothing runs S–XXL): Olive sweatshirt ($60), sweatpants ($70), sweatshorts ($60), socks ($15), and dirty martini hat ($28).

Hola Papi: How to Come Out in a Walmart Parking Lot and Other Life Lessons and some smiley-face bookmarks

JP Brammer — my top Twitter follow and author of my favorite newsletter, ¡Hola Papi! — just published his first book, and folks…it’s a banger. It’s sharp and kind and funny and moving in equal measure. Pair the book with some cute bookmarks, and you’ve got the perfect gift for the reader in your life. Get the book from Bookshop ($23.92) and get a set of 20 bookmarks from Brook Farm General Store ($12.50).

Jewelry for anyone

Apse BB ball bracelet

Perfect for layering and adding just a little something extra to your outfit. I’ve found that the sterling silver and gold filled bracelets pair nicely together. Get them from Apse for $50 each.

Apse initial necklace

A splurgy gift that you can personalize with their initial (or maybe your own? 🥰). Get it from Apse starting at $180.

Catbird initial charm and chain

If you like the idea of an initial necklace but want something a bit daintier, Catbird alphabet charms might be what you’re looking for. You can get just the letter charm for $44, or add on a chain (which starts at $148).

I ❤️ NY

In addition to food motifs, I unabashedly, unironically love New York City and New York paraphernalia. I’m not the only one, so if your loved one is also partial to Zizmorcore, they might like these items:

Standard Baggu: I Love New York

This bag is a workhorse. It holds far more than you’d expect it to, and then some, but it folds down flat, making it perfect for those days you find yourself suddenly and unexpectedly schlepping around the city. Get it from Baggu for $12.

NYC themed felted holiday ornaments

I audibly gasped the first time I saw these felted ornaments, and immediately bought a few as gifts and a few to keep. Get all of the ornaments from Craftspring: Metrocard ($22), holiday taxi ($24), and subway train ($24). (P.S. the subway train ornament comes in multiple styles, which means you can get the person you’re shopping for the train line that’s particularly meaningful to them.)

Susan Alexandra I Love NY card holder

I was gifted a trifold wallet nearly 10 years ago and only bothered to replace it once it became painfully evident that I was filling it to the brim with junk and then carrying that junk around with me everywhere I went. I recently swapped it for this beaded Susan Alexandra card holder, which can comfortably fit about five cards. I feel unencumbered! Get it from Susan Alexandra for $88.

A gift basket from Zabar's

This past year I discovered that Zabar’s will ship anywhere across the country, which meant I had discovered the perfect gift for friends who have left New York (or who simply want to live out their You’ve Got Mail dreams). You can mix and match items to create the perfect custom care package, but Zabar’s also has a wide variety of pre-bundled baskets with treats like black and white cookies, rugelach, babka, and lox, which is the route I usually take. They also sell mugs and T-shirts with their iconic logo, and whenever I wear the shirt or sip from the mug on Zoom calls, I end up getting compliments from my coworkers. Get them all from Zabar’s: Gift baskets (starting at $135), T-shirt ($9.98), and mug ($5.98).

Wooden bird tchotchkes

When Rachel and I visited Acadia, we stumbled across a wooden objects gift shop in downtown Bar Harbor that sold an astonishing amount of wooden birds — at scale!! I’m talking everything from a little chickadee to a giant pelican. We marveled and moved on without buying anything, but I found my mind wandering back to them each day, and by the end of the trip I had gone back and bought a couple of birds for our home as well as a few birds for friends. The craftsmanship of these hand-painted birds is really remarkable, and because they’re such beautiful little objects they make great bookshelf decorations. Get them from In The Woods starting from $39.

For their kitchen

Dusen Dusen oven mitts

It comes in three colorways, but my personal favorite is Berry. Get them from Coming Soon ($26).

Fruit and vegetable shaped kitchen timers

Everything’s better when it’s shaped like food, and these kitchen timers (which would make great stocking stuffers) are no exception. I own the corn timer, but I’ve got my eyes on the pear and the red pepper timers as well. Get them all from Amazon (from $4.65–$10.29).

A penguin sticker for your French press

I recommend Bodum’s French presses each year, and this year is no different — but, there’s a twist this time! You can convert your regular french press into a Penguin Press using this vinyl decal. The seller recommends pairing it with the Bodum Brazil 34 oz french press, which you can buy from Bodum for $19.99. Buy the sticker from Stuff by Andrew Neyer for $6.95.

Aarke Carbonator 3

This is on the pricier side, but it’s a great option if you really want to splurge on, say, your partner. My mom gifted me mine a couple years ago and I’ve never looked back; not only is the Aarke far more reliable than a SodaStream, but I actually like the way it looks on my counter top (the matte black finish is really chic). Get it from Aarke ($219) or Amazon ($164.25).

A hot carabiner

I am a lesbian, and this is my carabiner. If you’re like me and want something a little fancier than your local hardware store carabiner, then Japanese accessory maker Candy Design & Works has you covered. I opted for the Quincy ball-closure carabiner, but really agonized over my selection because there are plenty of other alternatives available that are equally as nice. Get them all from Hightide Store DTLA: Quincy ($30), Holger ($36), Delta ($38), and Gordon ($30).

Gifts you can customize

Vintage sports gear

I typically loathe gift guides that suggest items I can’t tap a link and immediately buy. But here I go, doing the thing I hate! Here’s the thing: Vintage sports merch is a great gift because it’s plentiful, relatively affordable (especially if you’re willing to do a tiny bit of digging), and can be selected to match your recipient’s tastes/preferences from team, sport, city, and/or school to specific article of clothing. There is no one link to recommend, because it really depends on who you’re shopping for.

My advice for finding great stuff on Ebay, Etsy, and Grailed is as follows: 80s and 90s merch is the absolute best, so include that in your search terms if you want to refine your results a bit; defunct team merch and retired styles/uniforms are especially fun (e.g., Seattle Sonics and The Mighty Ducks); teams that won titles, competed in significant tournaments, or even just competed against a major rival will likely have created merch specifically for that event, and it tends to be more exciting than your usual fare (e.g., The Rosebowl). I tend to opt for sweatshirts because they’ll usually give you more bang for your buck (and hold up better over time), but there might be a T-shirt that speaks to you. If you’re looking for hats, search for snapbacks specifically because you won’t have to worry about whether it’ll fit the recipient (and you’ll also have more luck finding brims with contrasting colors, which has a little more ✨razzle dazzle✨). One last thing to keep in mind is that vintage styles tend to run smaller — sellers will typically call this out in the listing, but always double check.

Airbrushed T-shirts

If you’d rather not try to hunt down the perfect vintage sportswear item, then I have an alternative for you: an airbrushed T-shirt from Etsy seller FreshAirShirts. My recommendation would be to use one of the sports T-shirts as a jumping off point and then customize it with your loved one’s favorite team’s colors and name. (That’s what Rachel did with the shirt pictured above, which also got me on the Jumbotron during the game!) This shop offers baseball, soccer, basketball, and football designs, but it’s also worth mentioning that an airbrushed T-shirt isn’t just a gift for a sports fan — it’s a gift for anyone who likes a dumb gag. Might I suggest the couples T-shirts, this shirt that just says “Mommy”, this cowboy hat-centric number, this covid cocktail (????), or this splurgier (lol) pet portrait as thought-starters? (And remember, you can get every shirt made in basically any color.) This seller is also super responsive and helpful when it comes to customizations, which means the only limitation is your own imagination. Get your shirts from FreshAirShirts (starting from $22.99).

Local business T-shirts

Restaurant and bar merch is a great way to support local businesses and show an interest in the restaurants your friends love the most. If you need some inspiration, The Cut curated some great NYC options and we gave some guidance on where to start last year, but really, if it looks like the store owner’s son-in-law’s first attempt at graphic design — in a good way, obviously! — you’re on the right track. My current favorite is the Ferrara “Holy Cannoli” T-shirt ($23).

New Balance 57/40s

The 57/40s are a more modern take on the classic 574s — they still get the job done, just with a little more flair. This particular style comes in a ton of colorways, but my favorites are “Black with pink lemonade,” “Light cliff grey with velocity red,” “Oyster pink with blue chill.” In my own experience, you don’t have to worry about rigidly adhering to men’s vs women’s shoes because the shoe is the same no matter what department you’re shopping in — just find the style you like, and then figure out what your appropriate size is. Get them from New Balance starting from $99.99.

Drag queen merch

Like wearing a band T-shirt, only gayer. I love this Sasha Velour T-shirt ($30), but you can find lots of other options on Drag Queen Merch dot com and My Best Judy Merch.

Stocking stuffers

Baby Baggu

This bag is the perfect size for my in-progress knitting projects, but it makes for a great running-errands-but-not-too-many–errands bag. I own the bag in lawnstripe and black & white cow, but it comes in a wide array of options so trust your gut on this one. Get them from Baggu for $10.

A tiny pet-sized cowboy hat

Give the gift of laughing at how truly ridiculous your pet looks cosplaying as a tiny sheriff. It’s got adjustable chinstraps so it’ll stay secure (much to your pet’s chagrin, I’m sure). Get it from Neon Cowboys for $15. 🤠

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